depression

Daydream_Believer_5

Many thanks to everyones responses last night. It made me feel really welcome and was good to get some honest advice from people who have been there and it helped me to realise that maybe I am not as close to coming off the medication as I thought.

Tiff - yes I have learnt ways to cope and I guess its not all down to the meds. I also look after myself a lot more than I used to as I know this does make me feel better - although with two kids finding time for me is not always that easy but I make sure I am selfish sometimes. After all it is better that they have a happy relaxed mum rather than a tired depressed one.

Thanks all.

Daydream_Believer_5

Miroslav wrote:

Oh dear, I'm having a bad time right now.

I'm just fed up of being me.

My confidence has hit such rock bottom. I'm ugly, my teeth aren't brilliant (as in not white, but the dentist thinks they are okay), in debt, no job, I fear everything, no close family, no friends, no partner, can't drive, live in a poor area and i'm just a mess.

I really just want to end it all to be honest, but won't as my cats need me. I won't let them down, but they are 12 now, so not long to go.

I'm just really fed up. My days are so boring, I have no energy, no interests, I don't go out as i'm so self conscious and fear someone will batter my already frail outlook, or I will react in a negative manner.

I'd just like to wake up one day and know someone cared, have someone tell me they care and have someone to care back to.

It's okay, my moment of self pity is over for now, I'll go and crawl back under my stone.

*Huge Scream*

:grouphug: Hi Miroslav :hello:

I'm sorry you are having a bad day, I'm not really very good at any of this stuff but I would say hang in there and get to the doctors as quick as possible. He will be able to help you. Just please don't do anything to hurt yourslef.

flis21

Am having a really bad day guys, and have only just got out of bed!

I feel fat, have no close friends, am about to go bankrupt and generally useless. I ruined my life by making the wrong career choices and have ended up somewhere I really don't like, so much so that I dread going into work each day and all weekend I dread Monday morning. I am trying to see if I can go back to one of my earlier careers, but not sure if I have messed it all up now.

I really want to be signed off work for a couple of weeks to get my head straight, but firstly I don't get sick pay, so can't afford to and secondly I am still in my probation period at work, so they will probably decide not to keep me on if they know I am suffering from depression.

I do have a Husband, but he works shifts, so is not here a lot of the time. And when he is here he doesn't understand what I am going through. I think his Mum wants him to leave me as well, so I am scared of putting my troubles on him in case he does.

I just feel like there is no point in going on, what is the point to my life. Get up every day to go to a job I don't like with people who hate me and talk about me behind my back. Come home to a flat that is falling apart. Spend most of my time on my own doing pointless useless things. Don't really enjoy doing anything anymore, except reading, as it is a means that I can escape my life and be someone else for a while.

Sorry to offload on you all, but it does help to get it all out, even if it is to people I don't know on an internet chat board!

jen30_2

Hi Flis,

Sorry you're having a bad day. At least you telling us how you feel especially as you feel you can't tell anyone else.

I think you need to go to the Dr and find out what help is available. There are plenty of things that can help without resorting to medication.

As for time off work - have yo got any holidays you can take - that way you get time off without it affecting your job.

Keep your chin up.

Big Hugs

Jen

Daydream_Believer_5

:grouphug:

Hun, sorry things are so bad today, I personally think that Sundays are the worst day of the week and even tho I enjoy my work I still feel down each sunday. I know what you mean about offloading on here and I feel so much better today just by chatting on here last night.

Sorry I'm really not good at all this, but I am sure that no one minds you getting it all off your chest on here.

Take care

flis21

I am going to phone up tomorrow to get an appointment with my doctor, but that can take up to 2 weeks if you are not dying and then I know it will be another 2-3 weeks, if he does give me meds, for them to kick in. So looking at feeling like this or worse for at least a month.

I just wish I could switch all my emotions off and get through the next few weeks robotically if you see what I mean. Go through all the motions of living my life without any of the horrid feelings that go with it.

rose07

Tiff wrote:

Hi Rose, Hi Guys - Thinking of you all and wishing you much love;)
Different strokes for different folks as they say - describes anti-depressants perfectly. There are a huge amount of them available- I tried six before I got to the one I'm on now, which has been the best so far.

I feel that counselling is a good thing for some people especially as you know you won't be judged, it's completely confidential & unbiased & some people find it easier to talk to a qualified stranger. One thing I'd say though is that if you do go for counselling, you must be 100% honest or it just won't work! If your team don't know about all of your problems, how can you expect them to come up with the answers? And isn't that what you've gone for?;) Don't let pride/embarrassment stand in your way to recovery. They've heard it all before.

Strong people get depressed - no shame there (said she hiding under the table!:rolleyes: ) - it's just that a combination of things contribute and build. Feeling ashamed/secretive/false only makes it worse. Sometimes the hardest thing is being honest with yourself - we're usually our own worst enemy and our harshest judge.

Go easy on yourself - give yourself that bit of kindness you can't get anywhere else.
Didn't mean to sound preachy - sorry:o
Much love x

you make alot of sense tiff.
how are you doing today?
how is everyone doing?
though could be a silly question
me not too well today but trying my best to be positive.
flis21 have you seen doctor who?? they had robots in that that were like that, me myself i think it would be great, but soon enough i would find myself lost without having any emotions and knowing how i was feeling to be able to do something about it, lol. anyway listen to me rambling on. i agree sundays arent great but everyday is like a sunday to me, as i have no job full time job at the mo. so my weeks are boring and my weekends even worse. lol.
im sure you must have some friends. what interests do you have, i like photography and video. if you could find something you liked and enjoyed to do each sunday then this would give you a bit of strength.

miroslav
has this been building up for a while or hit you quite suddenly?
1st off well done on you for finding something to keep you going, your cats.
do you not have any interests at all.
i understand what you mean, i am with no one, live in the hills, and havent been out in a while, even though i should be, lol.
but it is a constant battle.
how are you doing today??

((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))) to all
xxx

Slayerx

flis21 wrote:

I am going to phone up tomorrow to get an appointment with my doctor, but that can take up to 2 weeks if you are not dying and then I know it will be another 2-3 weeks, if he does give me meds, for them to kick in. So looking at feeling like this or worse for at least a month.

I just wish I could switch all my emotions off and get through the next few weeks robotically if you see what I mean. Go through all the motions of living my life without any of the horrid feelings that go with it.

I sometimes wish I could switch them off too, then I have days like today where i'm thankful I have them.

Went to church with a friend and his family and had a really nice lunch, they have become like a second family to me with there support etc

MinnieSpender

Hello all - another refugee from the Friday night session.

Bad day today. I keep crying and I can't find the energy to tidy up, which I should because it will help my mood - but you all know about that one, don't you? That seems so petty written down. There's more to it, but I don't feel able to post that right now.

Just a quick mention to today's Observer which has a very interesting insert on depression by the LSE. Fascinating read. I'll post some of the details from it later on.

Slayerx

Give me 5 minutes and i'll be round yours with a feather duster and my pinny and you put your feet up