depression

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

see you are doing the right things, but maybe she doesnt know where she is at?

i dont think she would be offended hun, but sometimes it is hard to know whether people mean to help or not. will try and explain

i reckon she does like you and does care, i dont know too much but only things about what you have said and i think she may just need to adapt to a guy that is nice.

ok miro, im going to share something with you now

i used to be like what s sounds like, in need of help, just ending up with any guy, because i didnt care, because i felt i wasnt worth anything and that i didnt deserve the best, i wasnt happy, got took for a ride by guys, they would cheat i would take them back, that kinda thing, then the attack happened and that changed everything, i realised and blamed myself for it happening as to the person i used to be, getting drunk and not caring, not thinking i was worth or deserved happiness.

then when i finally did meet someone, or when people were trying to help, i didnt understand, as i had soo many years of people in my life treating me like sh*t that i wasnt used to it, i didnt understand it, if a guy was nice to me, i thought he wanted something in return so i would push myself away from them i would distance myself due to the fact i would be scared of what would happen. (and i still do this) so fair nuff s might not have been through the things i have but she does seem to have been treated badly by guys which is something i understand, sometimes it just takes a while to ajust to the fact that there are nice people out there that dont want to hurt you and just want to be there and care for you. And when you find that person its powerful and like nothing else as it makes you feel wanted, makes you feel loved, makes you know you are not alone.
so what am i trying to say here? thats a good question, but im trying to say that s may not be used to such a lovely sweet guy like you, you clearly care for her, and want to be there for her. Give her some time, and when you next meet up, try and understand she will be fragile, she may be overcoming issues, and she may be trying to battle such feelings you are feeling about her. give it time and space, sometimes to be ok we need to distance ourselves from the things that matter.

i hope this makes sense?

much love hun
xxx

More sense than you know angel. You are making perfect sense.
Tiff

Sazbo

rose07 wrote:

here is something just for you, and tiff and anyone else you might like this too.
http://www.123greetings.com/cute_cards/hugs/hug9.html, you can choose hun x

xxx

Aww that was cute rosie x

Sazbo

Good night my dears, I gotta call it a day. Monday tomorrow oh joy :rolleyes: Sleep well, sweet dreams. Saz xx

Tiff_2

Hey everyone - guided relaxation - think we could all use some of this

Firstly, I am always very sceptical when trying something new like this, so when I was told this might help me, I couldn't see how.

-First - make sure you are alone (or with your reader if you use someone) and have a period of time where you won't be interrupted - very important this or it won't work so phones unplugged/off.

-Get your cd (I use Keeper of Dreams by Philip Chapman - you can get them in Asda or any general health shop for under £5). The cd may have a person reading out a script over the instrumental music. Or you may have chosen a cd with natural sounds like the sea against the shore or birdsong or just a relaxing instrumental cd.

-Loosen any tight clothing and settle into a chair or on your bed or even the floor. Somewhere that supports your body completely. Let yourself go and mentally let whatever you're sitting/lying on support you as the cd starts.

-Slow your breathing. Stop thinking. Imagine you are lying on a huge soft cushion or a feather-soft cloud... totally supported.

- You can find guided relaxation/meditation cds sometimes for free on the internet. The idea is that you are told a scenario by someone reading to you and the music compliments it. You follow the story in your mind, adding your own details mentally, each time you play it personalising it more and more.

- Generally a guided script will say something like, 'You are walking down a country lane in mid-summer. You come to a gate. You lift the latch and push it open and walk into the meadow. The grass is swaying in the breeze. A cuckoo calls...' At various points the reader if you use one, pauses to give your mind chance to visualise it and feel the emotions. You get deeper into the daydream for that's all it is really.

- When you've finished your journey, you SLOWLY come back to the here and now and yawn and stretch.

- By the end of my 1st session, I was asleep! I swear that's true. I have NEVER felt so calm and peaceful - it really worked for me. Believe me, I was a very tense Tiff! The more you do it, the easier it gets.

-You can put your own story in instead if you want to. Start to imagine how the wind would feel, listen for noises - birds, animals, water etc. I even got to the point where I could feel textures like grass under my feet, wood, the wind, silk, flowers etc!!! It's like designing and directing your own dream.

It might not work for everyone and you don't have to have a reader or a script. Just some nice instrumental music and your own imagination. If anyone's interested, I'll look out the script sheet if I still have it.
Hope this was of interest - no-one more sceptical than the Tiffster! And it's only my own experience for what it's worth.
Be kind to yourselves - talk tomorrow guys, feeling a bit of a tearful Tiff. :rolleyes:
Much Love Guys
Tiff
xxx

rose07

right im off to bed in a min

just a few questions and final thoughts for today

1. what is the difference between manic depression, and depression? (i know i should know this).

2. why do we beat ourselves up over the things we can do nothing about?

3. when do you feel at your best?

4. what have you achieved?

5. what cheers you up?

yes you can answer these:

ok so some final thoughts.....

1. Miro, thinking of you, i hope you are able to sleep and try and be positive tomorrow, things can hurt us soo much but when we bounce back from them we are stronger, give it time, and positive vibes and energy from me to you xxx

2. Saz and tiff much love to you both, you both have a important part here, and i welcome and appreciate your input, but make sure you look after yourselves. tiff thanks for the guided meditation techniques, its much appreciated, i welcome anything that can relax me at the mo im a tense thing. hope you not too tearful but i know what you mean, take care xxx

and 3, we are all strong people if we werent we wouldnt be here day after day, jst keep going and when you need us we are all here to prop each other up.

and its monday tomorrow, :eek: :eek: :eek: , i hate mondays so some positive vibes my way as i am bit fed up at the fact that its monday, bit upset and tearful too. lol. but there is no escape.

im off to bed now
sweet dreams to all
hope you all manage to sleep
and have pleasant positive thoughts
nite nite everyone
xxx

lost_at_present

Hi !

I got referred here from my original post Hope its ok with everyone. Been doing a lot of reading of it and I guess tommorow I'll tell my whole unadulterated story, but suffice to say I realise there are certain things I need to

feelinggood_2

Welcome lost
Sorry you are feeling depressed, I'll be back tomorrow to see if I can help.
Would offer too now, but not a good idea!
Take care x

Tiff_2

Sazbo wrote:

Miro, I think Tiff's right. You need to get yourself well first, to give yourself the best chance. There may have been an element of you sensing that you aren't reading for this yourself. Give yourself space to heal. xx

Tiff I've been really humbled tonight, and moved. If I had one tiny speck of your wisdom I'd have done so much better with my life! Sx

Morning angel.
How very kind Saz. The only wisdom I had were my wisdom teeth. Seriously though hun, nothing special in a Tiff - you post such nice things yourself!
I do apprecite your kind words and they humbled me.
Hoping Monday is good to you.
Much love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

right im off to bed in a min

just a few questions and final thoughts for today

1. what is the difference between manic depression, and depression? (i know i should know this).
There are so many kinds of depression angel - couldn't tell you to be honest. Ask dr?

2. why do we beat ourselves up over the things we can do nothing about?
I think because it's the only control we have is over ourselves. When it all goes wrong, the 1st thing we do is blame ourselves. It's because we feel helpless and we're hurting and we'd do anything to change it. Sometimes, we have to accept that no matter how hard we try, that bl**dy mountain ain't goin' nowhere! :rolleyes:

3. when do you feel at your best?
I'm not being flippant with this answer, but I think it's when you're not at your worst. it;s all comparitive I guess.

4. what have you achieved?
Ermmmm........:o

5. what cheers you up?
Laughter, being appreciated, someone caring enough to listen and little surprises too.

yes you can answer these:

ok so some final thoughts.....

1. Miro, thinking of you, i hope you are able to sleep and try and be positive tomorrow, things can hurt us soo much but when we bounce back from them we are stronger, give it time, and positive vibes and energy from me to you xxx

2. Saz and tiff much love to you both, you both have a important part here, and i welcome and appreciate your input, but make sure you look after yourselves. tiff thanks for the guided meditation techniques, its much appreciated, i welcome anything that can relax me at the mo im a tense thing. hope you not too tearful but i know what you mean, take care xxx

and 3, we are all strong people if we werent we wouldnt be here day after day, jst keep going and when you need us we are all here to prop each other up.

and its monday tomorrow, :eek: :eek: :eek: , i hate mondays so some positive vibes my way as i am bit fed up at the fact that its monday, bit upset and tearful too. lol. but there is no escape.

im off to bed now
sweet dreams to all
hope you all manage to sleep
and have pleasant positive thoughts
nite nite everyone
xxx

Thanks Rose. Saz is a real sweetheart too isn't he? I'm hoping Miro will find time to be a little bit more calm today, not so hard on himself.
Sadly, things are not black & white, or all or nothing - if it were, life would be very easy - but there are so many possibilities and shades of grey and we shouldn't jump to conclusions (says the voice of experience;) ).
Tiff-type vibes coming to you for a good Monday Rose Any kind of Monday is better than none! oh dear... I bet Karma heard that!:rolleyes: :rotfl:
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

lost_at_present wrote:

Hi !

I got referred here from my original post Hope its ok with everyone. Been doing a lot of reading of it and I guess tommorow I'll tell my whole unadulterated story, but suffice to say I realise there are certain things I need to

Hi Lost
You are more than welcome to join in and we'll help any way we can. Between us, we're a good fount of knowledge and where to point you to get help or we listen and care and support each other. Obviously we can't give professional advice - that's what the professionals are for! - but we can support each other as a group in finding it.
I look forward to getting to know you. the people on here are so nice.
Best wishes,
Tiff.