depression

Miroslav

Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my.

I'm about to write a looooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg post, so bear with me

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my.

I'm about to write a looooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg post, so bear with me

Should i buy a hat, Miro?

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Should i buy a hat, Miro?

:rotfl:

Not yet

:rotfl:

I'm gonna do my post on my PC then paste it here.

I am very scared

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

:rotfl:

Not yet

:rotfl:

I'm gonna do my post on my PC then paste it here.

I am very scared

ok, no rush... :whistle:

Miroslav

Well, today was my big day, my first day with 'S' alone.

I did not sleep much last night, and was very scared today.

So, 1pm, I get there just before.....3 or so minutes later she arrives........"Hi" etc etc, she rubs my back

We get in, I buy us coffee and (a muffin for her)

Awkward at first, we then start to talk, about loads of things. She talks about some abuse she's had in the past, she starts to cry and turns away from me. By this time she'd already been touching me, you know, like reassurance, so I touched her shoulder and told her to take her time. She composes herself and we start talking again.

90 minutes into our drink, we decide to go shopping. She took me everywhere, we laughed, joked, were serious etc etc. I bought her a Beckham picture, as she likes him, I even topped her phone up, although she's used it all talking to my flatmate already and she needed a couple of groceries, so bought them for her.

We then went to look at how much cinema, ten pin bowling etc cost, before going to have a meal (Fish & Chips for me, Lasange for her) with drinks.

We then went for a walk (In the pouring rain!), before popping in for another drink (All coffee's/Tea's etc) whilst she waited for her bus home.......this was 6pm, so 5 hours non-stop!

Now..........I really enjoyed myself, she really enjoyed herself she said, and I think she is FAB!!!

However, I have issues

1. Scared she doesn't really want to know me. Maybe she feels sorry for me. But I always worry.

2. I'm going to her place on Sunday, alone. Just the two of us having a day together, lunch etc etc......scared!

3. She hugged me loads, held my hand (twice), picked me up and swung me around to show she could (She's bloody strong! I'm 6'9 and a little overweight, but she has played rugby), kissed me goodbye (on the cheek), oh my.......she's great at hugs.

4. She kept saying she liked me, but she also kept saying "I think you are really nice, really good looking, infact I..........and then she whispered, "No I can't say that" like she wanted to say more.........now I'm in no way vain or confident, but she wanted to tell me something, but was making herself not say it. It's really bugging me now, cos I want to know....It was really bothering her, at one point she was close to tears.

5. She was wearing this top, that left nothing to the imagination. When I told my flatmate, she laughed and said that is her 'dress to impress' top..........and she's a busty girl

6. When I talked about my partner who passed, she understood, but she felt awkward, but when talked of my daughter who passed or anything else she was fine. She didn't like me talking about a girl I loved, but EVERYTHING else, she was fine with. She kept telling me i'll find someone else

7. She kept looking into my eyes, alot! She had this look on her face, like she was in deep thought about me.......:o She has lovely big blue eyes

8. She was telling me how much she liked me, and out slipped "I love you" :rotfl: and she quickly changed subject :rotfl:

9. My flatmate NOW tells me, she thought it as weird how she always changed there conversation to me :rotfl: She says she did find it odd how when they were out, she kept talking about me and how good looking I was

10. I may be reading too much into things, but I am very scared. I love her to bits, she is REALLY FANTASTIC. One of the nicest people I have EVER met.

I'm scared now, more than before, because I am VERY VERY fond of her. I can't get her out of my head.

Don't get me wrong, she's no Britney looks wise, a little bit of weight on her..........in fact, she's just a girl, but she is fantastic! So warm, affectionate and caring, yet so lonely.

I don't know what to do..........I'm not used to friendship

ANY advice appreciated

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

I think its nice that you sent the text, it shows you are thinking about her. I'm sure she would appreciate that even tho she didn't go. If I were here, I'd think that was nice. Just take things slowly and try not to worry about it.

Sorry things aren't good with your flatmate. How close are she and S?

She said she appreciated it.

'S' and her have been getting closer lately. Before they barely saw each other, but last 2 months maybe, they've met quite alot.

Miroslav

Tiff wrote:

Hi Miro:hello:
Congratulations on the counselling assessment angel!
Things are getting very confusing here -I don't mean your posts or anything, but it seems to me angel, that in every relationship that you're around at the moment, is made up of 3 people. Hun, I can understand why, but it's 1 person too many.
Sending S that nice text msg was perfectly okay. Very thoughtful. It looks like purely and simply angel that she just changed her mind about going to the funeral. Maybe your flatmate didn't tell you S wasn't going because she'd assumed you'd hear that from S.
I've kept up with your posts hun and this is what happens when there's a go-between in the relationship... it ends up like Chinese Whispers. And we all know what it's like to think the worst and have a totally different ending to what we expected. You said yourself that she often can't text people back as she has no credit.
If you can angel, find the strength to be in this relationship, whatever it turns out to be, with just you & S. You've had the ice broken so you can do this. You've already talked to each other directly. You're sensitive to what she's been through and you've impressed her. You can't define any relationship at the very beginning hun and if you overthink it or put down too many guidelines, you'll stifle it. This is the same for everyone Miro. You're doing nothing wrong. Try not to panic so much - easier said than done I know.;) maybe flatmate doesn't want to be in the middle now? We can all get snappy with people we care about when we're stressed. Sometimes we become the victims of our own imaginations.
Text or phone S in the morning angel and simply say 'Would you like to meet up at....?' there's no harm in that. I do feel for you hun but there's no recipe here and if you don't try flying solo once in a while, you'll miss out on a great adventure. Relationships have to grow angel - they don't come ready made. And we're all afraid/nervous at the beginning.:o
If only it were as simple as it doing what it says on the box!:rolleyes:
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that all goes well. Just take it as it comes hun.
Tiff xxx

Tiff :wave:

I know it's 1 person too many, and i've made plans to see 'S' on her own on Sunday again

Flatmate has talked about how awkward it is, we're trying to make it a 2some, we all have our 1v1 relationships, and sometimes do a 3some, so to speak.

'S' took care of me today, and I took care of her. We helped each other as well as having fun. I'm very scared, she says I'm really nice and she's glad she has met me.

I just hope she's real.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I think it is a case of crossed wires, you thought she was going to a funeral, so you acted in a way you thought was appropriate.

I do find the relationship with your flatmate very strange, you don't think she likes you do you?:rolleyes:

Is your flatmate likely to be that nasty?

She appreciated it she said, anyway

Nah, my flatmate does not like me like that, trust me.

Nah, flatmate is not nasty, I just think she gets frustrated, because I get down so easily.

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Well, today was my big day, my first day with 'S' alone.

I did not sleep much last night, and was very scared today.

So, 1pm, I get there just before.....3 or so minutes later she arrives........"Hi" etc etc, she rubs my back

We get in, I buy us coffee and (a muffin for her)

Awkward at first, we then start to talk, about loads of things. She talks about some abuse she's had in the past, she starts to cry and turns away from me. By this time she'd already been touching me, you know, like reassurance, so I touched her shoulder and told her to take her time. She composes herself and we start talking again.

90 minutes into our drink, we decide to go shopping. She took me everywhere, we laughed, joked, were serious etc etc. I bought her a Beckham picture, as she likes him, I even topped her phone up, although she's used it all talking to my flatmate already and she needed a couple of groceries, so bought them for her.

We then went to look at how much cinema, ten pin bowling etc cost, before going to have a meal (Fish & Chips for me, Lasange for her) with drinks.

We then went for a walk (In the pouring rain!), before popping in for another drink (All coffee's/Tea's etc) whilst she waited for her bus home.......this was 6pm, so 5 hours non-stop!

Now..........I really enjoyed myself, she really enjoyed herself she said, and I think she is FAB!!!

However, I have issues

1. Scared she doesn't really want to know me. Maybe she feels sorry for me. But I always worry.

2. I'm going to her place on Sunday, alone. Just the two of us having a day together, lunch etc etc......scared!

3. She hugged me loads, held my hand (twice), picked me up and swung me around to show she could (She's bloody strong! I'm 6'9 and a little overweight, but she has played rugby), kissed me goodbye (on the cheek), oh my.......she's great at hugs.

4. She kept saying she liked me, but she also kept saying "I think you are really nice, really good looking, infact I..........and then she whispered, "No I can't say that" like she wanted to say more.........now I'm in no way vain or confident, but she wanted to tell me something, but was making herself not say it. It's really bugging me now, cos I want to know....It was really bothering her, at one point she was close to tears.

5. She was wearing this top, that left nothing to the imagination. When I told my flatmate, she laughed and said that is her 'dress to impress' top..........and she's a busty girl

6. When I talked about my partner who passed, she understood, but she felt awkward, but when talked of my daughter who passed or anything else she was fine. She didn't like me talking about a girl I loved, but EVERYTHING else, she was fine with. She kept telling me i'll find someone else

7. She kept looking into my eyes, alot! She had this look on her face, like she was in deep thought about me.......:o She has lovely big blue eyes

8. She was telling me how much she liked me, and out slipped "I love you" :rotfl: and she quickly changed subject :rotfl:

9. My flatmate NOW tells me, she thought it as weird how she always changed there conversation to me :rotfl: She says she did find it odd how when they were out, she kept talking about me and how good looking I was

10. I may be reading too much into things, but I am very scared. I love her to bits, she is REALLY FANTASTIC. One of the nicest people I have EVER met.

I'm scared now, more than before, because I am VERY VERY fond of her. I can't get her out of my head.

Don't get me wrong, she's no Britney looks wise, a little bit of weight on her..........in fact, she's just a girl, but she is fantastic! So warm, affectionate and caring, yet so lonely.

I don't know what to do..........I'm not used to friendship

ANY advice appreciated

Well, I think you're doing great. Honestly. It's such an old cliche - but just take it a day at a time. Try not to worry about Sunday; sounds like you'll have great time. Don't feel you need to go any faster than you need to. I reckon it's nice just getting to know someone gradually and being supportive as friends. Just enjoy it - you deserve to be happy as much as anyone else.

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Well, I think you're doing great. Honestly. It's such an old cliche - but just take it a day at a time. Try not to worry about Sunday; sounds like you'll have great time. Don't feel you need to go any faster than you need to. I reckon it's nice just getting to know someone gradually and being supportive as friends. Just enjoy it - you deserve to be happy as much as anyone else.

I had a great time, I really hope she did as much as she said. I'm looking forward to Sunday.

I hope she likes me, I've not felt this way in so long, that if it goes wrong, I don't know if I will recover.

I really care about her, such a fantastic girl.

I'm gonna go bed, i've tired myself out (or she has!) and have nice thoughts about my day.

I'll be depressed again tomorrow, but hopefully more and more good days will happen, with 'S', and one day, with other people too.