depression

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I don't know. Its not tough love totally, he is affectionate and romantic, he just doesn't think I should think about the past or talk about my problems. He thinks the more I dwell on it the worse I am. I don't think he is as hard as me as I am on myself. He did remember anniversary, which was nice. Well celebrated it, not in the way I'd have liked tho. He went to the gym :rotfl:
Yeah, its all a bit of a mess.

Do you feel better talking about your problems? If you do, then tell him it helps you.

What did you want him to do for your anniversary?

No-one is hard on themselves as themselves.

Of course, we are all here to help and listen but have you had counselling about your past?

Horasio

I am feeling very tense.

Yesterday the car played up which got me thinking about money, what we should do etc which was bad enough.

Now the noisy neighbours behind had a skip delivered and making a huge racket filling it with stuff from work they did last summer. Yes the same ones that kept me awake last Saturday night.

My sleep patterns are all over the place, so had that delight to face when I first got up.

When will I ever get any peace?:(

Horasio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_%28mood%29

I was looking up Citalopram on the net and came across depression - what it really is.

How much is chemical and how much is reactive to bad events that have happened?

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Do you feel better talking about your problems? If you do, then tell him it helps you.

What did you want him to do for your anniversary?

No-one is hard on themselves as themselves.

Of course, we are all here to help and listen but have you had counselling about your past?

I want to talk about things - I tried for 5 years keeping things to myself, and I couldn't do it any longer. I know things will hurt to go back over everything, but I feel that if I did that I'd be able to let it lie. I've not told anyone some of the things that happened, it feels to big a burden to carry alone.

I just would have like to have gone out for a meal or something, just spent a bit more time together - made a bit more of a 'thing' out of it y'know?

I've had a few sessions of conselling, touched on the problem but never got very far. She was more concerned that I laughed and smiled the whole way through it (can only talk about things if I distance meself from the - pretend it isn't me. I laugh cos its amusing that I'm seperated from myself. Does that make sense?) I'm not wanting a row with OH, so not prepared to go for conselling. Eh.

I'm alright tho, feeling quite strong, even tho I keep getting knock-backs. I'm fighting to try and get the life I want, with whom I want. Don't know if I'll win, but I've got to try.

Bunnie1982

CCStar wrote:

I understand your reluctance to take this further but this is a great opportunity. They will do the talking and ask you questions about what you wrote on the form. They tend to be bubbly and nice, so it could lift you.

It has cheered me up seeing someone have some exciting news:)

I hope I am not making you feel guilty too but it would be great to see one of us on the TV:)

I suppose I would call them back if I wasn't having a bad day, might see how I feel a bit later or tomorrow morning

Sazbo

Bunnie1982 wrote:

I suppose I would call them back if I wasn't having a bad day, might see how I feel a bit later or tomorrow morning

That could be really good for you Bunnie, but still, don't let your OH pressure you into calling, do it when you're ready. Then we can all say we know someone on tv

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

I am feeling very tense.

Yesterday the car played up which got me thinking about money, what we should do etc which was bad enough.

Now the noisy neighbours behind had a skip delivered and making a huge racket filling it with stuff from work they did last summer. Yes the same ones that kept me awake last Saturday night.

My sleep patterns are all over the place, so had that delight to face when I first got up.

When will I ever get any peace?:(

I can only sympathise about the noise CCStar. Think I may have mentioned to you before about the constant noise I get through the walls and floors from my neighbours. And I think when you're not well, the noise affects you even more. Ironically it's not noisy at night for me, but still I don't sleep. Feels like you can't win...

feelinggood_2

Hope you are feeling a little bit better Bunnie, like Sazbo said, don't be pressurised in to phoning. I know how tough it is to talk on the phone when you feel low. If you decide to call them, good luck. If you don't feel up to it today, don't force yourself. Take care xx

Sazbo

feelinggood wrote:

I want to talk about things - I tried for 5 years keeping things to myself, and I couldn't do it any longer. I know things will hurt to go back over everything, but I feel that if I did that I'd be able to let it lie. I've not told anyone some of the things that happened, it feels to big a burden to carry alone.

I just would have like to have gone out for a meal or something, just spent a bit more time together - made a bit more of a 'thing' out of it y'know?

I've had a few sessions of conselling, touched on the problem but never got very far. She was more concerned that I laughed and smiled the whole way through it (can only talk about things if I distance meself from the - pretend it isn't me. I laugh cos its amusing that I'm seperated from myself. Does that make sense?) I'm not wanting a row with OH, so not prepared to go for conselling. Eh.

I'm alright tho, feeling quite strong, even tho I keep getting knock-backs. I'm fighting to try and get the life I want, with whom I want. Don't know if I'll win, but I've got to try.

fg, yes it makes total sense. Maybe you could find a counsellor that you can 'connect' with better? Sometimes it takes a while to find someone suitable, although I can't talk I'm still trying to summon the courage to make a first appointment after many years of putting it off. But if you did want to pursue counselling, really that's something your OH should be supportive of? Although I do totally appreciate OH's not being supportive... keep strong tho'
Sx

feelinggood_2

Sazbo wrote:

fg, yes it makes total sense. Maybe you could find a counsellor that you can 'connect' with better? Sometimes it takes a while to find someone suitable, although I can't talk I'm still trying to summon the courage to make a first appointment after many years of putting it off. But if you did want to pursue counselling, really that's something your OH should be supportive of? Although I do totally appreciate OH's not being supportive... keep strong tho'
Sx

He probably has a point about it making me more unhappy. I'm just gonna keep plodding along for a while. I'm working on self improvement, but tackle who I am inside is too big a step. Changing the outside for now, just ordered my GHD hair straighteners, they better be worth it! I've realised that I don't like me at all, and I need to change. It feels like its easier to change the outside, and then work on who I am inside. Maybe then I'll be happier. Its hard to change when I'm with people who know the old me. I'm wanting to run away again :rotfl: :rotfl:

Its worth just making an appointment, round here the wait is about 2 months, so the sooner you get in the better. Easier said than done I know!