depression

Miroslav

Flatmate is home, and is back to her usual non-understanding, inward looking self.

She can be very tactless at times, and I knew she'd think I should be alright again, now I have met 'S'

She says she understands it will take time, but the way she says it and the way she is acting, suggests very differently........the flatmate of the last couple of weeks has gone again. Knew it was too good to last!

Horasio

I have had a chilled day, not bad not good. Average.

My husband comes in, saying there is a chance of work for me which is nice but he says it may not materialise. I have been let down so many times over work, so it upset me. I was irritable about it. My husband said something to upset me more, can't remember what but it has materialised into a row that he blames me for.

He told me to leave before Christmas, I told him to eff off! I am not taking the blame for something I reacted to and he didn't stop either. I asked him to stop it but he carried on saying mean things to me. Again, I tend to forget the words. It was along the lines of not wanting to live with me when we move. I am fine with that. He is a slob around the house and his stubborn attitude really wears me down. I can't do anything if I have to come home to a stinking, stubborn a/hole, when I would rather relax and enjoy being at home. Maybe I need to live alone to get that.

He has really upset me. I feel mega depressed. I wonder why he comes home. He only bores me, goes to his office and goes to bed. I never feel he wants me around. I have felt this since I was married. I don't want to cry, the last time I cried I got my bad cold.

He said I'm not taking you shopping tomorrow night either. Charming, I haven't been well enough to go out for a few weeks and was looking forward to getting out. He has now upset me. His words stick and he wonders why I don't respect him.

I have started to feel better again this week, not wonderful but OK. He can't have that can he?

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I'm really struggling at the moment. I know what I need to do, but can't do it. My mind is totally blank when it comes to packing - I've no idea what to do. I'm awful at making descisions at times like this.

Well done on the schedule, thats a really good idea

Make a list and refer to it. I can't work without my lists.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Flatmate is home, and is back to her usual non-understanding, inward looking self.

She can be very tactless at times, and I knew she'd think I should be alright again, now I have met 'S'

She says she understands it will take time, but the way she says it and the way she is acting, suggests very differently........the flatmate of the last couple of weeks has gone again. Knew it was too good to last!

How has she changed? Does she do this often?

Horasio

Bunnie1982 wrote:

Well done Miroslav, sounds things went really well for you x x
--

I am feeling ashamed of myself at the moment. Last night me and hubby had a very silly argument and he shouted at me, I went upstairs and hid in the bathroom crying and harmed myself - nothing very serious but still I guess harming is serious enough.

I have not self harmed for a long time and I feel really ashamed of myself now, hubby knew I was up to something as he said didn't sound right, I was ashamed of showing him what I did.

Looking at it this morning and one of them looks like it may scar, they are very sore and I am feeling very sorry for myself.

Also was woke up very early this morning by a thunderstorm (I was quite shocked, thunder in October) however instead of being my usual scared self I was quite calm, actually could have happily stood outside in it.

On a positive note I have arranged 2 interviews with agencys to register and one is quite positive they will find me some temporary work so hopefully that will be one worry off my mind.

I'm too scared to look at my online banking

Why did the so and so shout at you? Why do men bl**dy shout?

I want to kick em in the balls when they do that!:mad:

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I have had a chilled day, not bad not good. Average.

My husband comes in, saying there is a chance of work for me which is nice but he says it may not materialise. I have been let down so many times over work, so it upset me. I was irritable about it. My husband said something to upset me more, can't remember what but it has materialised into a row that he blames me for.

He told me to leave before Christmas, I told him to eff off! I am not taking the blame for something I reacted to and he didn't stop either. I asked him to stop it but he carried on saying mean things to me. Again, I tend to forget the words. It was along the lines of not wanting to live with me when we move. I am fine with that. He is a slob around the house and his stubborn attitude really wears me down. I can't do anything if I have to come home to a stinking, stubborn a/hole, when I would rather relax and enjoy being at home. Maybe I need to live alone to get that.

He has really upset me. I feel mega depressed. I wonder why he comes home. He only bores me, goes to his office and goes to bed. I never feel he wants me around. I have felt this since I was married. I don't want to cry, the last time I cried I got my bad cold.

He said I'm not taking you shopping tomorrow night either. Charming, I haven't been well enough to go out for a few weeks and was looking forward to getting out. He has now upset me. His words stick and he wonders why I don't respect him.

I have started to feel better again this week, not wonderful but OK. He can't have that can he?

Do you think you would be better off without him? Do you put up with his attitudes because you don't want to be alone?

He sounds mean to you. Is there anything in his life that maybe causing him to act like he does towards you?

regularsaver1

Miroslav - understand it from your housemates point of view. She has helped you. She has listened to you.

She has her own things to worry about too. Sounds like she does care.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

How has she changed? Does she do this often?

She's been better the last couple of weeks. She has 'problems' too, but has moved on a bit, although, she still has many problems, ones which I can help with sometimes.

She's usually as she is now, I don't think she can handle my problems. She's usually tactless, doesn't think before she speaks, can't understand that I don't like alcohol, crossing the road etc etc. I mean she knows why, but she acts like I should just get over it. She says one things sometimes and acts like another. I just think she's fed up of me feeling low and can't understand why I can't give all my attention.

Occasionally she'll do something for me, like talk to her friend, who is now my friend, or provisionally my friend anyway, but I get the feeling she's done it so I have someone else to do things with, just to get out of her way.

She understands i'm down, but doesn't know how to deal with it, because for the last 12 years, i've been the stronger one, but when it comes to my feelings, she finds it hard to deal with mine. She doesn't understand, she's not been through what I have.

Miroslav

regularsaver1 wrote:

Miroslav - understand it from your housemates point of view. She has helped you. She has listened to you.

She has her own things to worry about too. Sounds like she does care.

I do understand, i've helped her for 12 years, at one stage I was her carer, virtually 24/7. In fact, the last 2 weeks aside, I've always been the one who has had to help out. It took her 2 years to work out my daughter had died!

I'm a more understanding person than her, more patient and more willing to give my time, I guess i'm wrong for wanting the same in return.

I do appreciate what she has done, I just wish she realised depression wasn't solved in 2 weeks sometimes.

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

Why did the so and so shout at you? Why do men bl**dy shout?

I want to kick em in the balls when they do that!:mad:

Leave my balls alone. I don't shout very often