depression

feelinggood_2

I've not done anything with it, just left it as it is. Can't really bear to look at it at the moment. Will clean it later, not looking forward to getting in a bubble bath - thats gonna sting!

Are you allowed to work even tho you've been signed off? Did you think anymore about benefits?

Bunnie1982

I'm not sure I would be entitled to any benefits because I resigned from my job (official as of 18th October)

The job was making me unhappy and was one of the triggers for my depression and anxiety.

I don't think OH is worried about me getting better, just wants me to get back out there and earn the money to keep the house going

feelinggood_2

I quit my job, but was told I was elligible for benefits. Might be worth enquiring. You've got to protect your health - do whats right for you
I've gotta go for lunch now, take care guys, talk to you at about 2pm xxx

Bunnie1982

feelinggood wrote:

I quit my job, but was told I was elligible for benefits. Might be worth enquiring. You've got to protect your health - do whats right for you
I've gotta go for lunch now, take care guys, talk to you at about 2pm xxx

Thanks for that, will see how it goes at the doctors tomorrow then might try looking into applying for benefits

Have a good lunch x

Tiff_2

Bunnie1982 wrote:

I'm not sure I would be entitled to any benefits because I resigned from my job (official as of 18th October)

The job was making me unhappy and was one of the triggers for my depression and anxiety.

I don't think OH is worried about me getting better, just wants me to get back out there and earn the money to keep the house going

Hi Everyone - thinking of you all - try and get back later as about to go to appointment. So nobody touch anything until I get back.
Hi Bunnie - I'll try & get back to you hun because I have benefits info that will help & you should qualify. Hopefully it will be tonight but depends on how I am after appointment.:rolleyes:
Hey Rosie - I'm looking for you too! Thinking of you angel - more later.

Much Love
Tiff x

Miroslav

Okay, here we go, I doubt anyone will read it all, it'll be too long It's all from the heart, that broken thing around the chest region

Anyway, yesterday was great, so why did I cry like a big 6'9" baby when I went to bed?

Was it because I was happy? sad? scared?

Well, all of those, but i'm sure many more emotions too.

I was worried she wouldn't meet me, or we wouldn't get on. It took a while for me to say anything, but eventually did, and we got on well.............I think. We swapped phone numbers, she seemed genuine that she wanted to do lots of things, seemed excited..........yet I feel like it wasn't real

I text her last night, as agreed, to say thanks for meeting, enjoyed it etc etc. I didn't receive a reply, but was not expecting one as she rarely has credit, although she gets paid today, and is likely to top up her phone by this evening. I'm anxiously waiting for a reply, though I'm not expecting one, and if she doesn't later, will start to believe more than I already am, that she maybe wasn't genuine, and was just being nice in the moment. Not being nasty, but maybe didn't want to upset me. It all sounded good what we said, but until it happens, maybe i'll not believe it.

I don't think any kind of relationship I have will last, maybe as i'm so used to people leaving me in one way or another, maybe i'm already waiting for her to 'leave'.

As I said earlier, I cried in bed. Happy she met me, and we seemed to get on, we both suggested lots of ideas, complimented each other, even understood where we were both coming from. She even said a few things which she thought may upset me and apologised frantically. I really like her, i've not met anyone like her for a long long time, I don't usually take to people.

I was sad, sad that she's too good for me. She's so much nicer, better, likeable, fun and she'll get bored of me very quickly. She may never want to meet me again, may never be in touch with me again, which will destroy me after yesterday.

Scared, because I don't do friendships, what if she does want to know me? What if I become attached and she leaves? What if I become really fond of her, and she doesn't like me or goes? I already think the world of her, she's great, and it will hurt now if she leaves, but what if I get to know her even more, and she goes and I'm left with what I have had for the last few years? I'm scared of getting to know her, no matter how much I want too, I'm not used to this.

I've met very few people I have really liked/loved. My partner who died, my daughter who died, which is a different kind of love, plus maybe 4, now 5 others.

1. My flatmate. We don't get on often, but we care in a strange way. We never tell each other, we just have an odd relationship. I'd miss her if she went, but she's not affectionate.

2. When I ran away from home in 1992, I met this girl at the place I ended up, she was a staff member, about 19/20 maybe. I was really scared and she had her arm around me the whole time, telling me I was going to be alright and didn't leave my side for the whole 2 hours before I was taken away. She was really nice. I never saw her again.

3. Earlier than that, when I was about 13, I was in 'Sunday School' as was made too by parents (even thought they weren't religious) and we went on a holiday for a week to the Lake District. Around 1000 people were there, about 30 from our group. I got on okay with some, but tended to stay on my own, being very shy, and from a young age, very depressed.

Anyway, I met another young lady (From Wigan!) who was about 19/20 again. She was really good to me, and we spent some time together, talking about things and I really liked her. She made the week bearable. I remember when we were leaving in our mini-bus, I was trying to hold back the tears, as i'd seen her for the last time, when the mini-bus stopped as some others had seen people they wanted to say goodbye too again, and she was there to say goodbye to me, and she hugged me, and I cried but it was nice to get a hug. We swapped addresses, I wrote, I never got a reply, gutted

4. Back around 1997/1998, I attended a day centre once a week, just to get out. One day, a new volunteer started. She must have been about 21/22, and was looking for experience in the care sector.

She approached me, and we talked, about this, that and everything. Eventually we spoke about 'deeper' things and she responded and was brilliant. She spent time with alot of people, but mainly me. People said she liked me, and I was happy.

One day, some of the staff called me to an office, and told me I had been spending too much time with her, and because of this, they had told her it was best she found alternative voluntary work. They never let us say goodbye I never saw her again.

5. 'Girlie' - Watch this space. I think she's wonderful. I know it will end, I just hope not yet. If it does, i'm not sure I can take another knock. She is a remarkable girl, who's been through so much, and my admiration for her is huge.

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

I've written too much, whilst in a depressed mood, i'll regret it later, but hey, I only meet someone I like every few years, they never stay. I'd love to have a group of girlfriends, but it won't happen. I don't get on with men, they fear me physically, I fear them emotionally.

feelinggood_2

Miroslav, sorry to hear about your bad experiences, I hope this works out better for you.
I'm a bit upset, very emotional. Its a bit rude of me to ask, but is there anything other than girlie you can call her? Sorry, had to ask
xxxxx

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

Miroslav, sorry to hear about your bad experiences, I hope this works out better for you.
I'm a bit upset, very emotional. Its a bit rude of me to ask, but is there anything other than girlie you can call her? Sorry, had to ask
xxxxx

I doubt it will

I'm open to ideas as to what to call her. I don't want to use her real name, so not sure what to call her

Bunnie1982

Am feeling really low this afternoon, have just been crying for a little while. Am supposed to organise a meeting with my current job to go in and discuss my reasons for resigning and the reasons why I am off sick with depression and anxiety, but I cannot face it at all.

Haven't got out of my PJ's for 3 days running but I think I may have to tonight as I think OH is trying to get me out to the cinema

feelinggood_2

Miroslav wrote:

I doubt it will

I'm open to ideas as to what to call her. I don't want to use her real name, so not sure what to call her

Ummm, call her anything other than girlie, otherwise I'm likely to cry every time I read your posts lol. Its not a big problem tho, its alright

Bunnie, if you cannot face it, don't do it. You might make yourself worse if you push it too much. Hope you feel better soon xxx