depression

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

Don't have to meet someone, you can do it alone!

True, but with someone, it's more special, and if I do do it, it would mean me being comfortable with someone, which I don't see happening.

Anyway, I'm going offline. Flatmate home very soon, and i've got to gear myself up even more.

I may be back soon, when it's cancelled :rolleyes:

Thanks for all the kind words

:wave:

feelinggood_2

Take care, will be thinking about you
xxxx

Bunnie1982

I used to have a very good sexual appetite until I was sexually and mentally abused by someone who I was going out with in the past. I found it very hard to escape the clutches of this person and always blamed myself for the way he was with me.

He was 28 years older than me and knew how to manipulate and control me.

Now I am with my husband, I am shy of sexual situations and tend to pull away from him. Occasionally he does or says things that reminds me of my previous relationship and I just burst out crying. He is very patient with me.

jellycat40

I can understand that Bunnie.

It took 2 years for my OH to see me with no clothes on and longer for me to feel comfortable. In fact I don't always even now.

Louise

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I don't know if he dominates me - I think he does, but he says thats me being paranoid cos I'm depressed. So I don't know lol. Some people in the family have asked if he doesn, but I really can't tell.
Hes 13 years older than me, and I suppose he has all the power over me - his money, his house, that sorta thing. I dunno, I don't want to make him out to be evil or anything, he is nice.
I don't think I could cope on my own. Can't work for one thing, so wouldn't be able to support myself. I'm thinking part of me would rather be with someone else.

We almost broke up about 2 months ago - and he was planning on taking me back to my parents. I told him he had no chance in hell of getting me to go there - and if he tried, he'd never see me again. That put him in his place! I definately won't let him take me back, he has no right to do that.

I am getting seriously spooked here - my husband is 12 years older than I am, married him at 17 and felt pretty crap at 19. I am now in my early 40s and my son is almost 19.

Is he quite a strong person? Extraverted? Are you his first wife?

OK he can earn the money. You should have the house in joint names as you are married. I made sure we did when I was 18. Have you worked before? I was working when we met and when I stopped I went to college part time to get more qualifications.

I am glad you told him where to go when he tried to send you home.

I am going to ask you a question to ask yourself, you don't have to answer on here or to me even, but do you feel happier alone or with him? You say you would rather be with someone else, is there someone else or would you rather be with another person?

I am not saying your husband is to blame for your problems but is he really helping you?

I thought my husband was quite gentle but has the most awkward streak. I do wonder if he really loves me if he can be so adamant about things that matter to me.

He needs to be asked to do things and the place looks a mess when he is around. Some people always seem so neat, others seem to be messy. I like neatness and order and it really gets on my nerves when I see mess.

When I was 19, I lacked confidence to leave and felt I couldn't afford it either. I am still debating it and I am a hell of a lot older, but had I not had my son, I might have taken action in 1993.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

I am getting seriously spooked here - my husband is 12 years older than I am, married him at 17 and felt pretty crap at 19. I am now in my early 40s and my son is almost 19.

Is he quite a strong person? Extraverted?

I thought my husband was quite gentle but has the most awkward streak. I do wonder if he really loves me if he can be so adamant about things that matter to me.

He needs to be asked to do things and the place looks a mess when he is around. Some people always seem so neat, others seem to be messy. I like neatness and order and it really gets on my nerves when I see mess.

He's very shy, and quiet. And incredibly lazy hehe. Won't do anything with out being asked, and then gets cross that I've asked. He's like a kid - can't do anything for himself. cant use the washing machine, has never vacuumed etc etc. Ahh life eh. Wish I knew what to do!

Horasio

jellycat40 wrote:

Hi Rose thanks for your concern and thoughts.

Went to the docs yesterday and she said that my symptoms (sexual dysfunction) are a side effect of the meds! She asked if I could live with it and to bear in mind I may be on them for a few years.

She is happy with me overall and said I seemed better to her. I was with her for all of 10mins!

A new scrip and an appt for 2 weeks.

Went to aqua fit last night which always boosts my mood. Today I am ok, tired, but ok.

Louise

Hi

I also had sexual dysfunction on anti depressants but it didn't cause too much trouble.

We can all seem OK for the 10 minute appointment, I guess you feel relieved someone is helping.

It is good to see you aqua fit is helping. I find the colour aqua is uplifting at this time of year and the exercise is beneficial.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

He's very shy, and quiet. And incredibly lazy hehe. Won't do anything with out being asked, and then gets cross that I've asked. He's like a kid - can't do anything for himself. cant use the washing machine, has never vacuumed etc etc. Ahh life eh. Wish I knew what to do!

Arrrrrgghhhh!!:eek:

I needed to do that!

Does it bother you? My husband can use appliances and did live alone, so had to get by. I have more time so happy to do the washing but do like the vacuuming shared but I do miss out on my workout if someone else does it! I hate them messing it up tho'!

I'm afraid to say, he won't change. Take it from me, I have been with mine for 25 years. You will either have to take charge of the domestic side or decide what else you want to do about it!

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Sorry about your symptoms, have you decided to keep taking them?
I don't know whats wrong with me - I've always had a non exsistant sex drive, but past 3 months, I've been rampant - whats up with that? I would just like to be 'normal'.
Is there anything you can do to help things?
Well done on going to aqua fit. :j I'm still miserable that I don't feel well enough to go to the gym, when I was great I spent 2-3hours there almost everyday. Wish I could still do that.

You say you feel rampant. Does your husband appreciate it? Mine wasn't so rampant, so felt sooo frustrated most of the time and felt he was trying to control me. I thought men wanted sex more than women, so was so upset and confused.

Sometimes sex can be a temporary relief from the misery but it is tiring.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

What's that?

That reminded me of the scene from 'There is something about Mary', where he was nervous before his date and he relieved himself:D