couple of divorce questions

longwalks1

Got a couple of questions on behalf of my girlfrend who ive been with for a year, she's now being divorced by her husband (we met after they split)

1) She's been given divorce papers to read and sign, claiming unreasonable behaviour on her part, but wants to know now she's though it through can she counter-divorce him, as he actually had an affair which was the cause of the breakdown?

2) What are the consequences if she refuses to sign the papers she's got now, she originally agreed with hubby to his 'unreasonable behaviour' claim for a quick and cheap divorce, now after talking to friends they've said dont agree to his claims

I realise all divorces are 2 sided and i can only give you one side of the story, but any advice of help wil lbe greatly appreciated

ceebeeby

Having never been divorced, my first instinct would be, does it really matter what the cited reason is ... but then I remembered that if one party had been unfaithful (and the other hadn't) then the marriage could be annulled if they're catholic, to allow the 'innocent' party to marry again.

I can't think of another reason though.

Good luck to GF

longwalks1

Thanks ceebeeby

Forgot to say people if you have any questions to ask that may help you answer please do fire away

Thanks again

loftus

What does she want? Does she just want to be divorced?

If that's the case don't contest it. In the end the reasons for a divorce matter very little, only the people involved or people they tell know. It won't affect the settlement, and all it means is her husband will pay the court costs. If she counter-petitions all she does is drag it out.
Also to counter petition for adultery she will either need him to admit it or have concrete proof that it took place.

loftus

Also, if you and your girlfriend are sleeping together, she is also commiting adultery despite being separated.

MrsTinks

My "favourite" divorce site states:

People often think that if they do not "defend" a divorce based on unreasonable behaviour they will suffer in some way when it comes to the division of the matrimonial property and/or any questions relating to the children. In point of fact, the reason for the divorce has no impact whatever on these two latter issues in the overwhelming majority of cases and so there is no reason to be concerned about it. However, this is something which does need to be explained and it often has to be explained carefully.

ETA your friend here is google

McKneff

People in the Catholic faith do not recognise divorce under any circumstances = full stop, no matter who is unfaithful. Married for life in the eyes of the Church. The vow is till death do us part.

paddy's_mum

Cross petitioning is a ruinously costly way to go on since any non straightforward petition automatically goes out of the local Courts to a higher "hire yourself an expensive barrister" one.

Ultimately, the marriage must have broken down for one party to be bringing an action in the first place, so all cross petitioning does is rake over painful coals in order that each party can 'prove' that they weren't the only one at fault.

If your friend really feels that being divorced for her own unreasonable conduct is an unecessary slur upon her, she could suggest to her husband that they wait and proceed on the two years separation basis and with the agreement of both spouses, thus avoiding any mud slinging.

It is actually not difficult to string things out long enough to qualify for the two years but it does sound from what you say that her husband just wants to get on and have it done and dusted.

Refusing to sign and return the papers will only delay things - it won't stop the action as a court will eventually decide that she is being obstructive, deem the papers served and signed and go ahead anyway. Remind your friend that the court has very wide ranging powers to make disobedience painful if she chooses to defy it.

Sounds to me as though she would be wise to find a matrimonial specialist solicitor to advise her, rather than friends or internet replies. In the interval, a good book such as the Which Guide to Divorce may at least help her be familiar with the terminology and the likely process.

simpywimpy

Actually unless a Catholic is married in a catholic church, then the church itself doesn't recognise the marriage at all and therefore a second marriage could take place in a catholic church if the first was say in a registrars.

I also know of a couple in their 50's who were eventually given permission to marry in church after their marriage was annulled. They'd been married a number of years and had children but because they married very young, the annullment was granted

longwalks1

Thanks everyone

OH has spoke to ex-husband (not sure what wording to tuse for that one) and they've agreed on some figures (% split of house and maintenence charges). Can she write a letter and send to his solicitor/courts with an 'offer' for settlement to get it sorted quicker and save any unneccessary costs etc?

Completely new to this so please bere with me

Many thanks again

child359

From my understanding the maintenance and equity/property split needs to be sorted prior to the actual divorce being granted however the actual divorce if being done yourself DIY and not through a solicitor will not actually sort the financial side out fianlly.

There has to be a financial process (think it is called a "clean break agreement" but sure someone will give you the correct wording!) sorted either at the same time or after otherwise if your OH won the lottery and hadn't had the financial side sorted out then he could claim half of it.

Get your OH to check with her ex whether he is doing it DIY or through a solicitor and check that the financial side is being sorted at the same time.

Seeing a solicitor herself at one of those free hour sessions that can be offered will help her out.