couple of divorce questions

loftus

You say send a letter with the agreed figures to his solicitor, so I assume the husband has been to a solicitor to have all the papers drawn up?

If this is the case there is very little she really needs to do. If her and her ex to be have sat down and agreed how their assets will be split, wait for her husband's solicitor to draw up a final agreement. May well be worth taking this along to a solicitor to sit down and go through to check nothing underhand is being done - and certainly do this if there are children involved - because when it goes for rubber stamping before the judge they like to see that both parties have had legal advice, although if the settlemen is a simple one involving few assets and no children it may not be necessary.

It's an advantage of being the respondent - there's very little you have to do apart from making sure that you are getting a fair deal.

Curious_George_2

my OH and his wife split up after being unhappy for some time, after 18 months of blissful separation he filed for divorce based on his wifes unreasonable behaviour, she refused to sign it and then a few months later counter divorced him citing HIS unreasonable behaviour...!!!

read that again and think to yourself who seems the unreasonable one??

I think the person who files pays for the majority so as annoying as it was to be counter served for no reason other than she wanted to say "I divorced him" (when all he wanted was to be divorced!) she ended up paying a LOT more than he did.

nobody can see the papers, nobody knows who divorced who unless you tell them and i dont think anyone cares either! isnt it enough just to be divorced? (we held a little party!)
Get rid of the dead wood and carry on with your happy ever after

edited to add - well done with getting the finances sorted as part of the divorce, sadly thats one thing that didnt get done in OHs case and years later there is still legal action happening trying to get his half of the house and other monies from her - sort the money and get a clean break!

iceicebaby

I'd advise her to sign it, get the divorce done so you can all move on. The blame factor is irrelevant really if they are both in agreement to the divorce which you say they are.

mookiandco

If she doesnt sign the acknowledgement of service and return it to the Court then all the ex needs to do is prove that she has received the divorce papers. As she has admitted receiving them to him, he will just need to send an affidavit to the Court confirming that he had this conversation with her and apply for deemed service of the divorce petition. Therefore it does nothing apart from cause a delay to refuse to sign the acknowledgement of service.

Adultery is hard to prove as the Court requires evidence or an admission by the other person. Evidence usually accepted would be the birth of a child due to the extra marital relationship. Otherwise it is very difficult to provide the Court with proof as adultery requires sexual relations between a man and a woman so you would need to provide definitive proof of this.

Also, the ex could ask for the costs of the divorce to be paid by your GF on the basis that she refused to sign the acknowledgement of service and was deliverately obstructive.

If your GF signs the acknowledgement of service she can also send a statement to the court at the same time entitled 'statement of views', just saying that she agrees that the marriage has broken down and doesnt want to defend it but that she also feels that the ex is partly to blame and cite some of her reasons. This statement does not form part of the divorce and will have no affect on it but she can do it if it makes her feel better and lets her say her piece as it were.

Even though the finances have been agreed, It is prudent to get a solicitor to have a look at the agreement or alternatively attend mediation where a proposal can be looked at by someone who has some experience of these things. It is important to keep things amicable but equally important that both parties get a fair division of any matrimonial assets. A consent order seeking a clean break can be drawn up by a solicitor and lodged with the court before Decree Absolute is applied for. The clean break prevents either party making a claim on the other in future (unless there are children in which case it still usually allows claims on behalf of the children).