Safety gates for older children

Spendless

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Surely doing this though is going to cause issues if she needs the toilet during the night though

Tbh i originally got one after i saw a friend of mine use one for her son (albeit he does have adhd though) that was doing exactly the same thing as the OP's DD she used it at the top of her stairs now despite the fact he has a no fear mentality he has never once tried to climb over it...

Just the fact that it was there was enough to stop him.

I'd not thought about the loo tbh as mine never go during the night. With it being a height I know mine could get over, I just know I wouldn't feel comfortable on the 1st night or 2 being asleep with a gate at the top of the stairs and not knowing if it was going to work or not in case child did attempt and slipped and fell from top to bottom stairs.

delain- having thought somemore, have you gone to your GP at all, as I vaguely remembered a programme about sleep disorders and one of them was where someone used to get up in the night to eat...but I remember very little else about it...might be worth ruling out?

delain

julie03 wrote: »

this sounds very much like my son, he has dysphraxia and it doesnt matter what you take away and punish him with he just does it again and again, we have taken toys away for weeks and weeks and still have problems, i havent found a solution yet but will be going on some courses to help with disipline as it has to be done in a different way to normal children.

and why do people have to criticise the op on her parenting skills, she asked for advice not criticism, its hard when you have a child like this, and the said child doesnt respond to normal disipline, give her a break

Thank you, it's true normal discipline doesn't seem to get me far with anyone (my other 2 have autistic tendencies) so I've had to adapt a lot of things to suit, not being less strict but going about things slightly differently, like turning all the upstairs lights off on the fuse box when they refuse to get in to bed, only had to do that a time or two now i just have to threaten it and keeping a specific time schedule.

I am hoping to go on the parenting course for special needs that they run here when it's back, no point going to the standard one.

Also i do liase with the pastoral care lady at school who is talking to DD1 about what makes her angry and why she does things, so it's not like i just want to whack a gate up and hope the problem disappears like people have suggested, it's as part of a wider solution.

The school are now actively looking into the dyspraxia :j

delain

LydiaJ wrote: »

Does this woman still have contact with your child? Unless there is a court order for her to have access, then do not let her see any of your children again, at least for a long time. I understand that she is upset about the situation, but she is an adult, and she must be made to understand that she has to deal with her feelings in an adult context, and not mess with small children's minds by telling them lies.

I think :rolleyes: is way too soft for this menace. In your position i would be putting :eek: :mad: :wall:

I have had so many issues with this woman over the last 8 years that I could make a post 5 pages long if i was to list it all :eek:

She knows what her son has done is wrong (she rang me up once after he hit her:rolleyes:) but most of the time she's blind to it.

heir Dad made my life a total misery for a long time, she had an abusive husband for about 20 years and seemed to think that I should just put of with it too :rolleyes: however I knew that it's horrible to grow up in an unstable household (I had a taste of that myself) so I left and after lots of painful court battles, where he and his mother lied about me the monsters came to me full time and we try to make a good life for ourselves.

I would also have said :wall: is a damn good icon, i did once stop her seeing them for a long time because of this sort of behaviour.

She reckons what DD1 said she 'overheard' :rolleyes:

I've told her that if she has any issues with the situation to discuss them with me and me alone, and DEFINITELY not when the children are with her, or I will cut her off again. She accused me of blackmail but I only want whats best for the kids, and agreed not to discuss it or drive past his house or talk about him with them and to keep it minimal if they ask, and not to criticise me in front of them (and talk to ME if there's a problem or she disagrees with me)

This was a few months ago but unfortunately DD1 hasn't let me forget it yet.

bestpud

delain wrote: »

Yes that was what i was thinking, that that along with getting her a cheapy digital alarm clock so she can see what time it is might reinforce 'night time is for staying upstairs and sleeping' and then try and positively reward her, by letting her stay up half an hour later to read.

As i said somewhere else she did this when she was 5 and stopped eventually but all these issues with her dad and his mum have flared it up again, especially with her nan telling her she can't see her Daddy because i want her to forget him :rolleyes:

Yes, I see where you are coming from and it makes more sense from that angle.

I would definitely be worried about it being at the top of the stairs though, just in case.

Also, you don't want to do anything that would delay an exit in a fire, for example.

I was wondering about that sleep disorder where they eat too, but then you said she responds to you so I guess she is awake...

Did you see the programme a while ago about the little girl who acted out her dreams at night?

delain

bestpud wrote: »

Yes, I see where you are coming from and it makes more sense from that angle.

I would definitely be worried about it being at the top of the stairs though, just in case.

Also, you don't want to do anything that would delay an exit in a fire, for example.

I was wondering about that sleep disorder where they eat too, but then you said she responds to you so I guess she is awake...

Did you see the programme a while ago about the little girl who acted out her dreams at night?

That does ring a bell, I know DD1 has vivid dreams and she does talk in her sleep a lot (she's woken me up before) And I've been worrying that she doesn't get enough 'real' sleep because you're not resting if you're thrashing about and talking. I know, because I'm exactly the same!

It had occurred to me that maybe her dreams wake her and that's why she's awake at random hours (i get that too) and that maybe she's so emotional in part because her body doesn't rest properly.

That's a good point about the fire, hadn't thought of that