Safety gates for older children

Spendless

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

There are lots of reasons children do this, including some special needs (dyspraxia or high giftedness for example) that mean the child can find it hard to 'switch off' or they just need less sleep than most people.

If she's treating night time like it's day, I don't think punishing her will solve the problem. Encouraging her to stay in her room and rewarding her when she does may help. And it may help her tell you why she wakes up and feels the need to go wandering.

It may be worth looking at a parenting class or speaking to your health visitor or GP as well as trying the gate.

Good luck. I have a 6 year old who can't sleep. It's exhausting! Fortunately, he doesn't come downstairs during the night but he doesn't get to sleep till gone 10 most nights, despite a very calm bedtime at 7 each night.

Yep I have an almost 10 yo the same. I've said before that I can't wait for the teenage years to kick in, to see if he sleeps more then! Have you tried classical music playing Gingham, we have had some success with this (obviously no good if he can't bear the sound).

Sorry OT to the OP, but since the stand in teacher has mentioned dyspraxia, could you go to the school nurse to see if you can start the ball rolling for an assessment?

delain

Spendless wrote: »

Yep I have an almost 10 yo the same. I've said before that I can't wait for the teenage years to kick in, to see if he sleeps more then! Have you tried classical music playing Gingham, we have had some success with this (obviously no good if he can't bear the sound).

Sorry OT to the OP, but since the stand in teacher has mentioned dyspraxia, could you go to the school nurse to see if you can start the ball rolling for an assessment?

The stand in teacher who I believe taught at the school for 15+ years says she has told DD's class teacher that she needs to see the Ed.psych and the occupational therapist

thorsoak

When you take her toys away - when do you give them back?

delain

thorsoak wrote: »

When you take her toys away - when do you give them back?

Sometimes not for months, usually when she has done something good i will give one back and i tell her that it's because she has been good.

thorsoak

So does someone buy her new toys?

delain

thorsoak wrote: »

So does someone buy her new toys?

Where are you going with this?

She knows she needs to be good to get hers back.

On her birthday and at christmas.

Maybe if things have been going really well she may get a new book but that is quite rare because of her behaviour.

jackomdj

I would say don't go down the stair gate route. Our DD is now 5 but she has been climbing over our bottom gate since she was 4 (as she could not open it!). It was not an issue for us as she knew not to climb over the top gate (which was not at the top of the stairs anyway) & the gate was used to stop the younger one. If your DD is not quite awake properly she could try to climb bit fall.

I would say it sounds like this is just one of a number of problems & I would probably be focusing on the route cause rather than individual issues (but probably also put a little lock on the door to save your food bill!)

delain

jackomdj wrote: »

I would say don't go down the stair gate route. Our DD is now 5 but she has been climbing over our bottom gate since she was 4 (as she could not open it!). It was not an issue for us as she knew not to climb over the top gate (which was not at the top of the stairs anyway) & the gate was used to stop the younger one. If your DD is not quite awake properly she could try to climb bit fall.

I would say it sounds like this is just one of a number of problems & I would probably be focusing on the route cause rather than individual issues (but probably also put a little lock on the door to save your food bill!)

Unfortunately my kitchen does not have a door, I might buy one, not very fair to ask LL.

Yes she does have a number of issues, many of them family related, she doesn't see her dad because when contact was ongoing he turned up smelling of drink and threatened violence towards the social workers etc

But because his mum has said in front of her 'Why dont I let the children see him' It's now all my fault in her little eyes, she won't have it that 'a judge' decided he could not see her until he's got his act together because 'Daddy would let me stay up' and 'Daddy wouldn't make me tidy my room' therefore 'My Daddy loves me more than you do' :mad:

That woman has a lot to answer for, because things were getting better until then.

LegalBlonde

For god's sake the woman came on asking for advice about a product. Next time OP I would just go into I wanna buy it or do it and say you have an abnormally large toddler or a rogue dog, so you need an extra big safety gate. Actually forget the dog, you would probably get advice on being a good pet owner.

I would get a small lock for the kitchen door, just the slot kind you have in your bathrooms, at the top of the door so any adult that needs in can reach it but she can't.

Edited: Just saw you don't have a kitchen door, my brother does not either and he has baby gate there for his kids. I would get a big gate or get a door, if you know anyone that is handy they could do a half door? Then you could keep an eye on her from inside the kitchen when she is outside of it.

Spendless

Is there a door when you come downstairs to get into the downstairs rooms or is it all open plan. If there's a door then I have a metal 'hook and eye' at the top of my bathroom door on the outside so it can only be open by someone at adult level. I can't completley remember why now but I think it was something to do with DS legging it over his cot and safety gate and turning the bathroom taps on, so I would have concerns about an older child getting over a gate.