A Payment a Day -Part Seven!

keza

yesterdays total was £752.09 xxx

angelicmary85

never-in-doubt wrote: »

Ok sorry! Won't bug you anymore..... :wave:

Come back!!

euronorris

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Come back!!

He'll be back, I'm sure But, I think Niddy works nights, so he's probably sleeping now. Lucky b'gger!:rotfl::rotfl:

Greenbynature

David came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as
he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he
found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. 'Who the hell are
you?', demanded David, 'and what are you doing in my bedroom ?'

The mysterious man answered, 'This isn't your bedroom and I'm St
Peter.'

David was stunned. 'You mean I'm dead !!! That can't be, I have so much
to live for - and I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got
to send me back straight away.'

St Peter replied, 'Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.'

David was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around,
pecking the ground.

'This ain't so bad', he thought until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, 'So
you're the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?'

'It's not so bad', replies David, 'but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode.'

'You're ovulating', explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before.'

'Never', replies David.

'Well just relax and let it happen'.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for
the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting...

'David, wake up, you drunken a55hole. You've sh*t the bed !!

nickynoo08

morning all
Just a little pad from me today 30p to my pad tin please keza.
Yay pay day tomoro, OH should get a bit of o/t in his pay this week, tis much needed as cars mot and service is costing us more than i budgeted:mad:.

Greenbynature

keza wrote: »

oh do i not need to be keeping track of the monthly total then? *confused* i have been keeping a spreadsheet adding up the dailys to work out the monthly total? didnt know you was doing it. xx

yes you do

keza wrote: »

hang on, sorry green, help me out here im being thick.....didnt understand ur post! explain plz xx

Sorry Keza - I just meant I haven't included that 6 grand in my own pad total not the one your doing lol

dankosheemo

Hey guys!

Deffo feeling the pinch. So very poor. The DD's continue to come out so 394.32 GBP to smEgg loan and HFC loan. I don't even have enough money for petrol to Uni next week! Sad times. Lottery win this weekend please!

Hope a great day everyone!
xx

Greenbynature

Morning all

Payday today :j:j

Pads today are £34 kays, £5 OH, £5 cap1 and £5 egg

£49

clearing_out_my_pockets

Love the joke, green!

angelicmary85

Greenbynature wrote: »

'David, wake up, you drunken a55hole. You've sh*t the bed !!

I don't normally laugh at toilety type jokes but that one was bloody good!