Burlesque Babe bid to stay debt free in 2010

Gemmzie

I agree with Pooky, there's definitely some good ones out there.

BB, you deserve the chance to find someone better. *hugs*

Pooky

If you knew a friend of yours was putting up with this sort of treatment from their supposed partner, what would you be telling them to do?

I know one day you'll suddenly have the strength to walk away but please don't leave it too long, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

Relationships really shouldn't be such hard work for so little return.

Burlesque_Babe

Pooky wrote: »

If you knew a friend of yours was putting up with this sort of treatment from their supposed partner, what would you be telling them to do?

I know - I've given far too much advice to others I should be doing myself

Pooky wrote:

Relationships really shouldn't be such hard work for so little return.

that's exactly how it feels. Hard work, all the time. It's tiring.

beanielou

My apologies Bb but I just get so mad he treats you like that.

Burlesque_Babe

don't apologise beanie - I should have the balls to sort it. I know I've really changed over the last couple of years to be able to stand up for myself - part of why things are now much more prickly because he doesn't like being answered back - but I can't just 'seal the deal'.

Ellidee

http://greatday.com/

XX

Burlesque_Babe

ah -a website from my favourites list Elli In fact, I may even have found it through you originally and the thread that was something like 'just enough' (or something similar!)

Snaggles

Pooky wrote: »

Not all of them.

Sorry Pooky - was a bit :mad: :mad: :mad: about something when I wrote that. Not been a good morning...

jayss

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

don't apologise beanie - I should have the balls to sort it. I know I've really changed over the last couple of years to be able to stand up for myself - part of why things are now much more prickly because he doesn't like being answered back - but I can't just 'seal the deal'.

You will, this tool thing sounds like its close to the final straw.
You'd probably have found it amusing if you were on better footing with each other.

Being singles not the worst thing in the world - though I admit right now when its freezing being part of a couple would have its benefits .

Burlesque_Babe

well, he arrived as if nothing had happened. I think he realised what an idiot he had been and wanted to forget about it so I let it go. He even said he would try to go to bed before falling asleep on the sofa!! He falls asleep on it every night and then often refuses to come to bed so half the week I sleep alone. Anyway I woke him as he was dozing and he went to bed. Wonders will never cease!

Anyway, found myself on the MFW board a few minutes ago. Now there's a scary challenge :eek:

My mortgage deal is up in June and at the moment it would drop from 5.44% to Barclays base rate +1.79% so in effect I would be on a new rate of 2.29% as long as the rate doesn't go up! My monthly mortgage payment would reduce to around £600 per month if I stay with the same lender from my current £770.

They don't allow overpayments but are willing to listen to 'proposals' and looking at the overpayment calculators even at 5.44% an extra £100 would wipe 4 years off the mortgage!

I'm currently with First National because I still had a CCJ when I last renewed - but I don't anymore :T

Unfortunately, my salary is less. I was on 28k when I was accepted for the mortgage. I'm now on.......well.....my permanent morning job is just under 8k. My afternoon contract job is nearly 11k and then teaching is around £1800 per year and then any AQA on top. Adding it all up - £22-£23k so I'm crawling back up there.............but much of it is either contract/sessional/self employed....who would give me a mortgage in this situation My wage slip only gives my morning job as my official 'salary' and then everything else is put on as extra hours on different rates depending what role it is. Messy.

I guess I have until June to get myself into some kind of permanent role all day in the low 20k wage bracket at the very least.

I also would like to take a couple of years off the term - down to 20 perhaps (it will have 22 left on it when it is up for renewal), but maybe overpayment is more flexible if I can get my new lender to agree I like the idea of just being able to send from my bank account a little bit each month but don't have the facility to do that at the moment. I'd also like to be with someone a bit more mainstream, although the rate I got was very favourable at the time, but I did incur some charges because I panicked a bit and went through a fee charging broker because of my CCJ and the fact I knew I was going to be made redundant because of the Cruella situation

I'm rambling.