Burlesque Babe bid to stay debt free in 2010

pepe2008

Thought I'd drop and and say hello. XX;)

You seem to be starting the year on a positive note ( even with the car problems) so I'll make it my mission to keep you positive.

edit....whoops a double positive, better than a double negative though. x

Burlesque_Babe

pepe2008 wrote: »

Thought I'd drop and and say hello. XX;)

You seem to be starting the year on a positive note ( even with the car problems) so I'll make it my mission to keep you positive.

edit....whoops a double positive, better than a double negative though. x

hello xx

I'm all for positive notes for 2010

Didn't do the scheme of work or lesson plans yesterday (lazy-itus) so must do them today.

Am :mad::mad::mad: at OH this morning.

To put it into context - ever since we've been together there has been no sharing when it comes to money - his choice. It's his house and my house. He doesn't want to do anything joint with me ever - unless we buy a property and he leaves his half to his daughter (long story). His money and my money. I have no idea what he earns (but it's a lot - probably 40k + ), I have no idea what he pays on bills - he says when I ask (to help him lower APR's etc) that he doesn't know his mortgage/gas/electric/water/CC/council tax payments which is absolute bollox. This is a man who checks his CC statements with a fine toothcomb , keeps every bill, receipt etc and stores them forever. :rolleyes:

So, my neighbour is moving later this week. Nice guy, said to OH he has some power tools he is selling. OH goes over this morning to talk to him (he does know about tools through his work). Phones me 5 minutes later from his house to say neighbour wants £500 :eek: and he's agreed to buy them even though he has most of them already :rolleyes:

So - his plan? To tell my neighbour (using 'my' as his way of how things work for him) that I have said he can't spend £500 or our money.

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

Trust me, I told him in no uncertain terms that he was not to do that - how dare he use me to shirk his responsibilities for something he has agreed to with someone I know just because it suits him!! :mad::mad:. I didn't shout but trust me, I made it clear.

If he has agreed to buy something and now doesn't want it - then he takes the responsibility of letting my neighbour know this. He got really shirty with me 'oh so we wouldn't discuss it then?'

erm yeah - we'd discuss it. I'd say it was a lot of money but wouldn't know if it was a fair price because I don't know what is involved but if he wanted to buy them then it was up to him - just like every other financial transaction in 'our' relationship he undertakes.

He put the phone down on me. I think he understood he had been a Grade A !!!!!! :rolleyes:

He wants everything separate financially - he gets it and has had it for nearly 7 years. He can't pick and choose so it fits in with his decisions he regrets making and so wants someone else to shoulder the responsibility of getting out of a situation (as he has done with most other areas of his life in the past).

Phew. :cool:

beanielou

It just doesent get any better does it?

Snaggles

Men are selfish, emotionally underdeveloped !!!!!!, and utter cowards.

The end.

Ellidee

BB only just found your new Diary ! Happy New Year & New Diary. I guess leopards don't change their spots eh ? Hugs

LouiseJ

Sorry BB but..........

I am completely astounded that the man who is supposed to be your partner can watch you struggle day in day out with money when he obviously has no money worries at all, quite the opposite it seems.

Silently furious on your behalf:mad:

Burlesque_Babe

he says that he has to earn the money while he can, which is true. He is self employed, but in a job where people are scarce and salaries are high and has had a few times when he hasn't worked over the years. However, he has been on this current job for ooooh, 4 months now? Possibly 6 months because I remember him saying a few times about sitting in the traffic with no air conditioning in his car. He let it slip that he is on £250 per day a couple of months back.

His best friend does the same thing and brings in well over 80k per year. The difference being is that when a job finishes he goes out and finds more work whereas OH waits for work to fall into his lap. Even this job was found through his friend because he had too much work on to be able to do it!

He is owed a lot of money by another company - but they still keep asking for help on and off and he still gives it :rolleyes: His outgoings are probably similar to mine and so a salary of £1200 a month would mean he could get by. He pays lots more in fuel per month than I do, but then I probably pay more per month in shopping than he gives me so I think £1200 a month is a fair guesstimate at what he needs.

By not getting directly involved in my finances (other than 'telling' me what I should be doing and then taking a step back when I ask for a definite answer to something) it means he has no responsibility for anything that I do - and if I make a wrong decision or for example re-building my career on rubbish money, it means he can say 'well, it was your choice to do x,y and z'.

beanielou

Arrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh.
Just gets worse Im afraid.
Tell him to !!!! off.

Burlesque_Babe

I wish I could beanie.

It's hard to describe but I just feel so tired by it all. After feeling so hurt that he could look to say something that is a) a lie and b) would be completely against how he wants things I feel really tired. I get angry, I tell him where he is going wrong in the relationship rationally but definitely and say that he needs to really think about what he is doing because he is messing up another relationship, but then it calms down and I get tired and back to not being to open my mouth when back to 'normal' and say 'it's over'. It's hard to describe.

Pooky

Snaggles wrote: »

Men are selfish, emotionally underdeveloped !!!!!!, and utter cowards.

The end.

Not all of them.