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Burlesque Babe bid to stay debt free in 2010
Comments
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hmmm............that's the problem. The final outcome.
I sat this afternoon and did a SWOT analysis of the relationship in my head. The Weaknesses bit was long.......I've worked in offices for far too long......a SWOT analysis !!!!!!............
However, there's just that fear of giving up on a relationship - any relationship however (repeatedly) horrible he has been to me over the years.
"Stay Wonky":D
:j:jBecome Mrs Pepe 9 October 2012 :j:j0 -
The thing is that it's not a relationship that's viable.....do you know anyone else that has this sort of relationship? Do you think he'd ever change? Should you really expect him to change? He wants an easy life....it's time he stepped into the real world where easy lives don't exsist.
You've done the right thing - you coped really well whilst he was away skiing and you will do now - your a confident, gorgeous woman who will get the happiness she deserves - but only after you've got rid of the baggage that was "him"."Start every day off with a smile and get it over with" - W. C. Field.0 -
You are not giving up on it though, you have tried your hardest with him ( sometimes to our despair:cool::o) and all he is done is throw it back in your face. He doesnt deserve you one little bit missus:(what EXACTLy does he ever do for you? Cos if seems to me all you do is give and all he does is take.Burlesque_Babe wrote: »However, there's just that fear of giving up on a relationship - any relationship however (repeatedly) horrible he has been to me over the years.
Be happy:):cool::kisses2::lovethoug:heartpulsOnce a Flylady, always a Flylady:heartpuls0 -
Must be something in the air in Dorset BB....hugs hun. For what its worth its not a relationship in the terms that most people would define...more of a friendship mutal companion. He really didn't give much back , you gave an awful lot and something had to give. Im writing basically to you what I am writing about my own relationship.I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And breakaway. I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway ....
Finally Debt Free...0 -
Bb~I agree with the points everyone else has made.I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.0 -
Burlesque_Babe wrote: »Maybe paying for the holiday in 1 lump sum was rash.....in more ways than 1......I asked him to leave on Tuesday night, told him we were over and he was to take his stuff........
:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T
Congratulations!
Take someone else on holiday. I'm sure you must have friends/relatives who would love to go.Burlesque_Babe wrote: »it's been coming a few times, it happened a couple of months ago but I stupidly gave in and asked him to come back 2 nights later.
I don't feel anything. I don't feel upset, angry, sad, happy, nothing. I don't feel 'numb' I just feel 'normal' as if he's gone on another ski-ing trip for a few days. Been to work, done my normal stuff.
Basically he tried to say I hadn't researched something thoroughly because it was for his son and not something for me. This is a line he trots out every now and again when he doesn't hear exactly what he wants to hear. I had researched it thoroughly (even started a thread on the travel board on MSE for advice) but he hadn't received the emails. I had re-sent 1 (the most relevant) and verbally told him the rest. He decided to forget all the verbal stuff I had told him and 'remembered' just the 1 email. Basically he was saying I was lying about what I was saying I'd done and then tried to make it out that it was because it was for his son (which is rubbish as I always try to look up what I can when his DS needs help).
I re-sent the 2 other emails and he received them. He emailed back to try to say something different happened. I repeated what had been said and he replied saying it was me being 'grizzly'. I said no........I wasn't.....
You now just need to stay strong and to not let him do the usual thing of acting as normal until your resolve crumbles.
He is a parasite. Nothing more.
What he does it the old "I'm acting irrationally - that's your fault." "What you did wasn't good enough - that's your fault - you must do more." "You're feeling upset - that's your fault." etc etc.
It's good that you are away from that.
:grouphug:"Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0 -
and I agree with all of you. I've never told all the stuff he's said to me, to be honest I wouldn't be able to move for DFW spades.
I just know 'me' and the bloody stupid association I'm making in my head about having 2 holidays booked and we won't be able to go. I think it's possibly because, apart from it being a holiday somewhere, it's the only time we spend together other than him turning up some time in the evening and I guess I've tried to hang on to that precious 'us' time we never have when not on holiday. I think.......I don't know.......that could be rubbish but a holiday booked in the future always clouds my judgement when it comes to making the final break and I can't understand why when the rest of my thoughts are so focused and clear. It's not the cost, it's the actual act of going away together.
To be honest - I have no family who would come with me, I have 1 sister in Canada, I don't see much of my brother and my other sister has a mad job which is weird hours booked months in advance. The thought of taking my Mum? :eek: And Dad would just ask where the cricket was taking place :rotfl:
I don't have any real life friends - just you lot on DFW.
And obviously you lot are real.........but I think you know what I mean! "Stay Wonky":D
:j:jBecome Mrs Pepe 9 October 2012 :j:j0 -
But you could go on your own?I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.0 -
I could - yes. I think I would be lonely though. I'd get up, get food, sit on the balcony and not much else. I'm not one to go exploring for miles. I may get the bus somewhere but I'd probably feel sad that I wasn't sharing the experience."Stay Wonky":D
:j:jBecome Mrs Pepe 9 October 2012 :j:j0 -
Burlesque_Babe wrote: »and I agree with all of you. I've never told all the stuff he's said to me, to be honest I wouldn't be able to move for DFW spades.
And the funny thing is? That you think we didn't know you were being quiet about it... :rotfl:Burlesque_Babe wrote: »To be honest - I have no family who would come with me, I have 1 sister in Canada, I don't see much of my brother and my other sister has a mad job which is weird hours booked months in advance. The thought of taking my Mum? :eek: And Dad would just ask where the cricket was taking place :rotfl:
I don't have any real life friends - just you lot on DFW.
Volunteers near Dorset...please step forwards..."Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0
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