Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

beanielou

Not sure what to say really.
Try to take care of you too.

Marru

Eager - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!

pennywisepoundstupid

EE, I agree with Marru, this is not your fault.

Your OH needs professional help, my worry is your going to put up with this and make yourself ill and then what, who will take care of your little girl if both of her parents are ill.


I'm sorry if i'm coming across harsh and I know your OH can't help it he is ill, but you can't live your life on a knife edge and be manipulated and made to feel guilty everytime things don't go his way.

Sometimes you can't help people and they have to want to be helped to get better, please please think about your daughter and the effects of living with this is having on her.

Again i'm sorry if i'm coming across as being brutal, but I think you have put up with so much and enough is enough.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh.

Piquant_2

pennywisepoundstupid wrote: »

EE, I agree with Marru, this is not your fault.

Your OH needs professional help, my worry is your going to put up with this and make yourself ill and then what, who will take care of your little girl if both of her parents are ill.


I'm sorry if i'm coming across harsh and I know your OH can't help it he is ill, but you can't live your life on a knife edge and be manipulated and made to feel guilty everytime things don't go his way.

Sometimes you can't help people and they have to want to be helped to get better, please please think about your daughter and the effects of living with this is having on her.

Again i'm sorry if i'm coming across as being brutal, but I think you have put up with so much and enough is enough.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh.

Marru wrote: »

Eager - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!

I agree whole-heartedly, this is not your fault. I am worried for you, this level of stress is not good for you.

Do you have to wait to decorate and have carpets laid? Moving into the house would give you some peace and space and as says your daughter needs you more than ever at this horrible time.

Eager_Elephant

Thanks for your comments - none of them are too harsh.

He is getting professional help - we had the crisis team out yesterday, they will come again today and tomorrow and then on Monday we have a psychiatrist coming out.

Obviously this is a cry for help but I think he really means it this time - I know things have got on top of him but he said normally when he feels suicidal he sees DD in his head and can't do it but on Thurs even that was not enough.

He has had depression for 17 years, this is a chemical imbalance and he will be on anti-depressants for life - he has always had ups and downs.

The problem this time is due to other factors which need to be sorted - none of which is for me to sort which is why I think it is so real. Me not talking to him was a very minor thing compared to the other stuff he is worrying about.

But the other stuff takes time to sort and I hope he can manage by realising that things are changing albeit slowly and things will get better.

I am fine with the stress of it all - I have had worse over the years and managed to cope. I have quite a good network of family and friends to help out if needed.

Surprisingly I feel quite calm and serene - on Thursday I was quite a wreck obviously but now I feel different. I think it might be these Agnus Castus I take - they have really helped my hormones and instead of being so emotional and up and down I am a lot calmer.

I have a week off work to be here so hopefully we can do some decorating on the other house as DH needs to keep busy and he likes DIY etc

Thanks again everyone.

Eager_Elephant

Not been on my diary for ages but have been hanging around on MSE still.

Will update shortly but thought I would read back a year to see what was happening - here is a post from 11/12/11:

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Maybe I can have a Xmas where nothing goes on a credit card ???

So last year all the presents went on a credit card and have done for the last 12 years :eek:

But not this year - we do not have a credit card to use - I am both worried and pleased :rotfl::mad:

DH has defaulted on all his credit cards and is paying them £1 per month each and should be going bankrupt in the new year.

I have defaulted on my largest card and pay a nominal payment - was paying £170 a month with £150ish of interest.

My other two cards are up to date but I am only paying the minimum payment and there is no room for spending.

So this year Xmas will be cash from our bank accounts and Amazon vouchers which I have got recently from Swagbucks (have been doing it all year but have gradually used the vouchers)

Not sure how it will work out but will probably do something similar for DS as we did last year - I wrote him a cheque for £200 which he did not cash and then each time he wanted something I paid and noted it on the back of the cheque so this spread the cost throughout the year :rotfl:

The problem with DS is that he is 15 (16 in a matter of weeks) and he is really careful with money and does not want anything - his Xmas list has 5 things on - well when you consider he has a birthday as well you can see he is a bit short - I might mention cash to everyone as he is hoping to drive when he is seventeen and I have agreed to pay for lessons but he will have to buy the car.

DD has her head firmly in the clouds with her dad - she wants an Ipad, an Ipod Touch, an Iphone, a 3DS and lods of other things :mad: (she is 9 btw)

Things always work themselves out so I am not stressing too much

beanielou

Was just thinking about you the other day.
Cheque was a great idea.
Good idea on OH's bankrupcy.
Any thoughts on you doing the same?

Piquant_2

beanielou wrote: »

Was just thinking about you the other day.
Cheque was a great idea.
Good idea on OH's bankrupcy.
Any thoughts on you doing the same?

By coincidence I was thinking of you yesterday too. I hope you are well and things are calming down for you.

Piq

Eager_Elephant

beanielou wrote: »

Was just thinking about you the other day.
Cheque was a great idea.
Good idea on OH's bankrupcy.
Any thoughts on you doing the same?

I can't go bankrupt because of my job - the only reason I have defaulted on my largest credit card debt is because I am having to pay out for two houses but this is all changing - will post update soon - and I will then start paying it off again (although I know I have a default registered against me)

Piquant_2

Glad you're okay EE!

Piq