Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

Eager_Elephant

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<- here's my line drawn under July!!


I am starting afresh for August - I have brought YNAB up to date and sorted my budget for August.
DH's budget is not great as he's keep buying on ebay - his depression is bad at the moment, I knew it was getting bad before he told me as I noticed the payments to paypal. he has since admitted he feels really, really depressed (but not suicidal and he does not want to go away on his own for a few days) and he always spends to feel better.
It's for the best if he has no money as he can't spend it although last month somehow he managed to use my debit card to pay for his items, he got them off his ebay account but using my card which is linked to my paypal (or maybe it wasn't) - anyway he paid me back (£17) and we are ok.


DH sold his old truck for £750 - the newer truck needed calipers so that has taken a chunk but should not need doing for years and years.
The rest of the money will go in the bank - DH wants to start a course which costs £1200 which I have agreed to, I am hoping this will help with his depression and stop the boredom of work getting too bad.


My food budget has been awry for a while, once the food bank account is empty I use my account or the petrol credit card to buy the food and then once the food account is topped up I then pay back the money so then there is less that month for food and the cycle continues.
I am drawing a line under that as well

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any food purchased last month by us or on the credit card will not be paid back and I am starting August afresh with a food budget of £350 every 4 weeks. I am not sure if this is enough or not but by starting afresh I will be able to relook at it at the end of Aug.


DH and I have a week off in August - DD wants to go out somewhere and I know we have some meat chickens to pick up as well as the pigs going for slaughter so we should have enough to keep us busy.


Hoping not to overspend this month and I will check YNAB every few days and make sure we are on track.


DS is off to Uni, just got to approve his accommodation (£250 deposit) and sort student finance and wait for course start date for him.
I think DH and I will have to give him some money each week/month as he is not entitled to full loans as we earn over £40k pa.


Once he has gone we should be overflowing with glasses, plates and cutlery which always hide in his room for weeks on end!!


Have been doing my Turtle challenge as best as I can this month - I have 14 NSD's so far and my challenge was 15. Need to spend today and not tomorrow and then I will have met the challenge.

pennywisepoundstupid

Hi EE, sorry to hear that your DH is feeling down again, fingers crossed the course makes him feel a bit better! Would it be worth making him an appointment at the docs!

Will your DS look for some work whilst he is at uni, even if its just a few hours a week it would ease the burden on you if he could pay for his own food at least.

Can't comment on finances mine are all over and I have the joy of going to buy school shoes and blazers next week.

Eager_Elephant

pennywisepoundstupid wrote: »

Hi EE, sorry to hear that your DH is feeling down again, fingers crossed the course makes him feel a bit better! Would it be worth making him an appointment at the docs!

Will your DS look for some work whilst he is at uni, even if its just a few hours a week it would ease the burden on you if he could pay for his own food at least.

Can't comment on finances mine are all over and I have the joy of going to buy school shoes and blazers next week.

Thanks for popping over Penny.


DH has had depression since he was 16 and is now 36 - I believe he is on the maximum dose of his type of anti-depressants. The dose he is on is higher than a GP can prescribe and was prescribed by a Psychiatrist when he went off a few years ago. (Most people are given 75mg of this medication but DH is on 300mg).
If he saw his GP they might try to put him on a new one and DH reacts badly to loads of anti-d's and we know this one works.
We often have phases like this, usually it's in the winter hence we think he has SAD. His depression has worsened since I had the girls weekend to Bognor in May and he is convinced I cheated on him and have a secret boyfriend and will be leaving him :mad:


I got him some Vit D tablets this week to see if this will help him, I am also trying to make sure he eats 3 meals a day with snacks because he often doesn't.


I'm hoping DS might be able to get some work but I guess everyone will be looking as well - once we know how much student loan he will get the better, then we can work out his money. I was thinking we would need to send about £20 per week which we can afford so hopefully won't be too bad.


Uniform - DD needs a new school jumper and school shirts this year. The jumper has done 2 years and is now faded, with spots of tippex and too small and she needs a bigger size in shirts as she is blossoming well. No doubt we will buy the obligatory school shoes as well - we pay about £40 and they last a whole year.
She has a new PE kit a few months ago, she had outgrown hers so we had to replace it - often in the year they have good offers so is cheaper to buy mid year.
Now stationery is a whole other ball game - we all love it and while DD is buying her stuff, DH and I buy loads for us as well. We just can't help ourselves!!


Hope uniform shopping to not too expensive penny!!

crazy_cat_lady

Hi EE - sorry to hear dh is down again. Hope this one rides through as uneventfully as possible.
In the ever mirroring situations of our lives, I too am drawing a big fat line under July and starting afresh tomorrow. I have my new academic year spending diary ready to go, and have just ordered dd's comp uniform - still need to get ds new jumpers but at least I've started.

Eager_Elephant

Hi CCL


Glad you had a good break away.


I also have a new academic diary which I got last month - it's a gorgeous purple one!! Last year I hardly wrote in my diary but this year I will write down everything I have to do rather than remember at the last minute.


Well done on starting the uniform shopping.


We have been to Lidl and Tesco for food shopping and nearly all the months food budget has been spent. DD was chuffed to get some stationary for school and has tidied out her pencil case ready!!!


I put aside the child benefit money and DS' maintenance in an account and then when either of them need anything it comes from that including uniform. Usually stretches to cover everything they need.
From 1/9 it will just be £84 every 4 weeks child benefit so DD will need to reign her spending in!!!


DD's shirts are on Amazon so I am going to have a mad month and try to do as many surveys as possible and get some more vouchers.

Eager_Elephant

Have been popping in and reading diaries but not had much to post about.


Budget was all sorted, all the bills came out on 1st of the month and I am on track for the rest of the month with the food shopping as well.


Been doing some surveys and have cashed out £10 on one site. Need to try and up my game but don't seem to have much time especially as one of the Turtle challenges is to limit screen time so I have been getting in from work and doing odd jobs which need doing rather than being on the computer.
Not sure if I will have time at the weekend either.


Was only going to do surveys to get Amazon vouchers for school shorts but do have enough in the uniform fund to pay for them so not too important.


DH still very depressed - tomorrow is his mother's birthday and Mon is the anniversary of her death so not sure how bad DH will be this weekend.
DH has stopped buying on ebay and has started selling - he sold the back cover for his 4 x 4 for £150 which he was chuffed about.
We have another one to sell this weekend as well.

Savvy_sewing

Keep on keeping on EE.
Would DH speak to a councillor, relate or something about his depression and his miss guided fear over your relationship?
It might help.
I'm not sure I could cope with that! Well, BF didn't trust me in the first three or four years we were together. Actually not sure he ever did but he stopped saying it, or reading my diaries after I went mad at him. Many many years ago.
Good Luck with the food budget. If DS is off to Uni, then that should reduce when he is away, so sending him the savings on food should equal you out.
Teach him the easy meals from scratch, maybe give him a slow cooker or a Thermal Cooking Bag and a bunch of one pot recipes?

Hope DH gets the selling bug rather than the spending one!
Moo xx

*Robin*

Good morning EE, :hello:

Glad to see you're still here..

Struck me, is there any activity or excursion DH's Mum used to enjoy which you could do in memory of her? Thinking maybe visiting a NT property, walking / picnicking in her favourite park, going to the cinema - or even bingo if that was her 'thing'?
My Mum used to like celebrating her birthday by going to a live performance; a play or music recital, so we've done that quite a few times over the years on her anniversaries. Does help with remembering the positive facets of her character rather than just our loss now that she's gone.

Re DS helping to support himself at uni; my DS4 has just finished his course, and by chance last weekend the youngsters were talking about jobs which fit well around studying.. The best paying, least effort one DS4 found was being a model for life-drawing classes. It paid him a quid a minute! Sessions never went over 45 minutes, he was doing it three or four times a week in term time working for two art tutors. Often he could take a pose reading a book, so he'd be able to study at the same time! Does mean getting over being naked in front of strangers, which is probably why there isn't the same competition for life-modelling jobs as for doing things like bar work..
Anyway, just thought I'd mention it, having been on the edge of the young people's conversation about this topic a few days ago.

Well done for being on top of your monthly budget, EE - I could do with taking a leaf out of your book on that score!

Hope the weekend isn't too upsetting for your DH; will be thinking of you both, trying to send positive vibes..

crazy_cat_lady

Hi EE - another mirror of our lives. It was 6 years Wednesday since DH's mam died. We don't usually do anything in particular but I always make sure that I get a bunch of flowers in on the day. I think it's just a time that we have to work through, but the change in him between Wednesday and yesterday is quite marked. At least with him selling on eBay then the finances are going the opposite way...
I've been horrific with budgeting this month - quite ashamed of myself so I'm using you as inspiration for the rest of the month.

Eager_Elephant

Mooloo wrote: »

Keep on keeping on EE.
Would DH speak to a councillor, relate or something about his depression and his miss guided fear over your relationship?
It might help.
I'm not sure I could cope with that! Well, BF didn't trust me in the first three or four years we were together. Actually not sure he ever did but he stopped saying it, or reading my diaries after I went mad at him. Many many years ago.

The ironic thing is that many years ago he emotionally cheated on me with loads of women - I think it is in this diary somewhere. He would basically message ladies and chat to them about all sorts but mainly sexual stuff - he claimed to be single etc. We nearly split up over several times and although I have never forgiven him I am still here. I am holding on until DD reaches 18 as she would not cope with us splitting up.
Since he got ill in 2011 he has not misbehaved - I check his phone and Facebook regularly. There is no trust on my side but anything he does I will not let affect me as I know that I can get out of the marriage in 5 years (Plus I take agnus which helps keep my emotions in check).
He thinks I will go off with someone else as I can do so much better than him and he knows what he has out me through in the past.


We have been to relate before - it wasn't what I expected at all but it did help in a way.
DH has had loads of counselling over the years and it does help but his depression is just so chronic that we have to ride the real downs when they hit.

Good Luck with the food budget. If DS is off to Uni, then that should reduce when he is away, so sending him the savings on food should equal you out.
Teach him the easy meals from scratch, maybe give him a slow cooker or a Thermal Cooking Bag and a bunch of one pot recipes?

He can cook a few things himself and I think a slowcooker is the way to go.
I am hoping that after a few weeks he will have gelled with his housemates and they will be able to arrange meals between them.