Buffy Cracks the Egg Diary 2010

MushyPeas

Hiya Buffy

I subscribed to your diary earlier as I thought you sounded incredibly motivated - well done for keeping going. It must be a lot of responsibility being the only earner in your family.

Your list looks really organised, I'm impressed I've had a day of not getting much done, but I keep reminding myself that each little step helps .

Keep going m'dear :T

Pea x

ziggles50

Excuse me while i pontificate...

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Well, I have been feeling pretty miserable lately, worried about work, really dreading monday. have been since Boxing day when I realised I had so little time left.

Buffy- one day at a time is all you can do...easier said than done when there is a feeling of fear/drad inside you but put it in a box in your mind and file away for MONDAY when it comes

Family stuff has meant I haven't done as much work as I should have and to be honest my head just doesn't feel right. I am utterly miserable and just constantly putting on a brave face. Even paying off my CC hasn't made me as happy as I thought it would. It just feels as though my life is full of worry and I can't answer any of it. I keep telling myself other people have it worse then me but never has that saying about if you have stubbed your toe and your neighbour has broken his leg it is still your toe that hurts. And I am the only earner in my family so if I don't sort this out then we could have pretty serious problems.

I'm not a fan of 'there are worse off people out there' thing- YES there are people suffering but MY suffering is inded MY suffering- i would probably not survive another's problems! But guess what- you are surviving yours EVERY single day you get into your bed and wake up again the next morning- remember that!

Quite a while ago now I read loads of self help books:o Embarrassing I know! but they do help, I dont have a partner to share stuff with and my two best friends both have new babies and conversation obviously and rightly revovles around them. I have always dealt with my problems in the past, my Best Friend is surprised I am still in my job, she is right when she says I never stay in anything that makes me unhappy - I really never have, I don't do unhappy! but have stayed cos I can't find another job that pays as well and really need the money to be debt free and save for a house. I do, rightly or wrongly feel responsible for my family's well being.

Yup poor stuff:D but i have learnt that we retain what helps us from these dreadful books (like the container i just described) so read as many as yo can stomach and USE everything that you feel will help you!
So the plan. or at least an outline

1. re - read Feel the Fear and do it anyway - a great book, I would seriously recommand it to anyone.

2. de - clutter my room tomorrow. and do varnish those bloody shelves!!

3. listen to a book on tape as I fall asleep - something self helpy, instead of watching tv - too distracting but not distracting enough.

4. Get up an hour earlier to have a relaxed start to the day

5. Follow the Fly lady plans - 15 minutes bursts, put clothes out, shine the sink,

6. get back to cleaning my room and the conservatory each week. deal with the post

7. Don't work at school anymore, bring work home to work in a good environment.

8. Have at least 30 minutes to myself each day to relax and review.

9. Be organised to aviod the horrible panicky feelings I get.

10. Remember the following

Nothing is as bad as I think it is

and

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Jawaharal Nehru[/FONT]

This is a brilliant list to be getting on with but don't beat yourself up for not getting everything done first time round- it takes practice to become perfect!
Keep your head up girl!:grouphug:

RosaBernicia

Happy new year and new diary Buffy :beer: :j

Babysteps... you have done so well this year and I'm sure you will get to a fabulous place by the end of this one!

Rosa xx

Shoe_Gal

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Happy new year and new diary Buffy :beer: :j

Babysteps... you have done so well this year and I'm sure you will get to a fabulous place by the end of this one!

Rosa xx

Good advice Buffy - I think you're amazing :j

macgirl

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

So much has changed it is difficult to write it all down with out sounding like a I have swallowed a self help book!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
Sorry that did make me laugh Buffy.

I'm loving your diary already. So much of what you're saying I can identify with; the student debts, the impatience etc... But it's brilliant and inspiring that you've made such good progress :T

I've joined the £100 to £10k too, so will see you there *subscribes*

macgirl

Just read page 2, should have read that before I posted :rolleyes:

Bless you Buffy! You sound like me!
I love a bit of self-help (actually The Self Help Queen might be more apt ), Feel the Fear, You Can Heal Your Life, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Road Less Travelled, Stop Thinking Start Living, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - I could go on and on - I've read 'em all! :rotfl: (Eek, should I really admit that ), Whatever, feel the fear and all that....

What your post says to me is that you are extremely self sufficient and motivated enough to get through it and make life better for yourself.
You need to pat yourself on the back a bit more. You'll get there

Buffythedebtslayer

ziggles50 wrote: »

Excuse me while i pontificate...


This is a brilliant list to be getting on with but don't beat yourself up for not getting everything done first time round- it takes practice to become perfect!
Keep your head up girl!:grouphug:

I will try and remember that. Its been a rotten day so far tho. but i have done some things on my list.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Happy new year and new diary Buffy :beer: :j

Babysteps... you have done so well this year and I'm sure you will get to a fabulous place by the end of this one!

Rosa xx

Thanks, I really don't think I have done well. work is pretty much falling apart. I am just hanging on really.

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Good advice Buffy - I think you're amazing :j

THank you hon but honestly I am not at all.


You are all far too kind. I have so much still to do today. I feel like crying. Mum is talking about the boiler again. Oh GOD I am so not in the mood. I cannot cope with it now not with work tomorrow. I have rehearsed the giving in my notice speech over and over. but there are no jobs. NONE. well five but they are all too far, as in up north too far. 5 jobs:rotfl::rotfl:


I just don't have the fight in me now. And I haven't done any marking this week. oh God. I feel as though it is all going to crash in around me again. I know I coped last time but it was so surreal and since then the actual working situation is worse - people leaving/stressed. Sorry to be so miserable. I am proud of getting this far but today I just can't see a way out. I think it is mainly the job situation - i e there aren't any that has me freaked. I was sorting through work and thinking I could be using that in an interview etc but now there is nothing.

truthfully I wouldn't manage with out everyone's help on here. thank you .

xxxx

Edited to add- thank too to Macgirl - I haven't read some of those books! xxxx

beanielou

Buffy my friend.
Please please please go to your GP & get signed off from work.
I do not want you to end up having a break down.
Please take care of yourself hun.xxxxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

yeah, I will try and get an appointment. I just think it will be like before tho,leave your job type conversation.

I wouldn't even know what to say.
xxx

GreyhoundAngel

No Wonder I wasn't seeing any new posts on your last diary - or should I say last before one :rolleyes: (and I missed your post about the new thread on both of them )

You've done fantastically well on your DFW journey Buffy - I find your determination so inspirational & motivational :heartsmil One of my "resolutions" is to be a little more like you, in my "own" way. Thank you.

So before I go back to lurking in my cave - I just want to wish you a Happy Shiney New Diary and all the best for 2010

G:A x