Money Moral Dilemma: Should Carrie return her present?

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  • There's also the issue of there being nothing wrong with the dress. While companies have to give you your money back if there's something wrong, getting your money back just because "It was a gift I don't like", stores then try and push you down the route of exchanging the gift or giving a credit note, even going in quoting rights.
  • sharkgirl
    sharkgirl Posts: 76 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Of course she should get the refund. I gave my daughter in law a present for Christmas with the receipt stapled together on the packaging so she could chose to open it and see how much I spent to get a refund or keep the present I had chosen. As far as I am concerned it's a win win situation, I took the time and trouble to choose something I thought she would like, she would appreciated that, but I also know they are hard pressed for money at the moment and would have been offended if I just handed over cash for two reasons, one no time or trouble goes into giving someone cash and secondly she would have been embarassed. Maybe that is what the imaginary scenario is all about. A friend would know and understand and has probably thought it out in the first place. :T
  • pineapple
    pineapple Posts: 6,931 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Samantha is not responsible for Carries welfare. The dress, probably chosen with care, was a gift. And I don't think she should trade it in for cash.
  • gmc1
    gmc1 Posts: 9 Forumite
    hundredk wrote: »
    So should she return it or not:confused:

    You're only asking about my own emotive reaction. I mentioned first that something like that is only irrelevant. It can't be right or wrong nor even morally recommendable in such a circumstance where the gift means only, as its highest meaning anyway, that it's completely up to Carrie. Personally I think, if she really wants the money instead, she should tell her friend the situation and ask if she would mind her bringing it back. The friend, if she had really wanted to do something to please or help Carrie her friend, is likely to be understanding. Carrie, though, I prefer, ought to be ready not to return the dress if her friend is hurt by the suggestion, and ready to turn around quickly and say, "I would love to keep it very much also, it's a lovely gift and because you feel strongly about it and my having it, I will keep it and cherish it."

    I gave my own first felt emotive reaction already anyway, that I personally preferred to imagine the story that Carrie didn't return the dress - but this is only a romantic black & white film escapist notion. When you realise that it's good that Carrie can do what she wants with it, and that the best help to her would probably be the money, your emotive reaction is quite likely to disappear altogether, and you may not have one anymore. In the end, it doesn't matter what you prefer - it may be that Carrie would find she benefits more from keeping the dress and enjoying it on nice ocassions over the next 4 years or so. It may be that Carrie needs the money now, but in 6 months time, she finds she could go and buy herself the dress and is in a financial position to buy a few of them. It may be that returning the dress for the money is the start of Carrie spiralling into debt and depression, and the return of the dress and her shame at doing that is a big factor in that. It's all up to Carrie. It's about how she feels at the time. One supposes she is a "grown up".
  • gmc1
    gmc1 Posts: 9 Forumite
    edited 2 January 2010 at 12:10AM
    There's also the issue of there being nothing wrong with the dress. While companies have to give you your money back if there's something wrong, getting your money back just because "It was a gift I don't like", stores then try and push you down the route of exchanging the gift or giving a credit note, even going in quoting rights.

    Many, actually I think most (though I can't remember, I used to know the laws) sales have a no questions asked return policy within 3 to 14 days, sometimes 28 days, as long as the item is in pristine condition still, or the same condition it was sold at. I'm certainly used to being told now when I buy something if a particular item is excluded from the 14 day no quibble exchange policy and can only be returned within that time if it is faulty. I usually assume there is a no questions asked return policy, but you just have to ask at the till, or in the terms and conditions on a website or in a catalogue. The receipts usually say the terms of the short return period after buying. This is the 'cooling off' period, which used to be enforced for every sale, as far as I know, but now I think is only legally necessary for distance sales. Though I believe that shops must inform customers when a sale excludes a cooling off period. I'm not so sure about this, I used to know the laws, I'll have to check - but what I'm saying is the no questions asked, return without a reason sales are certainly not uncommon. People really should find out what the deal is when paying. I'm nearly always aware whether I can return something or not within a week or whatever time without a reason.

    Are there any of those law of contract obligations solicitors or barristers who frequent this site who know the most recent laws to post here?
  • Let's assume that this present is a gift.
    A gift should be given unconditionally, therefore no strings attached,otherwise it is not a gift.
    This being true,Carrie should have the freedom to do whatever she wants with the gift.
    It's very simple really. :cool:
  • Definitely NO. Try selling your Granny instead. :A
  • mayb_2
    mayb_2 Posts: 894 Forumite
    A true friend who was willing to spend £400 on you and give you the reciept in case you wanted to change it sounds like someone you could tell that you would really appreciate having the money instead. To take it back without saying that is what you had done would lead you down a path of telling lies to cover it up. After all - why hadn't you worn it - what did you exchange it for etc would be natural questions?

    I was recently offered what I felt was a huge amount of money by a good friend to cover a financial crisis - long term, pay me back when you can. I wouldn't accept it but that is when you know that true friendship and love are things money can't buy or replace.
  • if i were very broke, i think i would say the dress didn't quite fit, change it for something half the price and spend the money on necessaries.

    but i also would be horrified at a £400 dress. tho very touched someone spent that much on me.
    Boyfriend & I have saved £12K in two years, thanks to careful budgeting and keeping a record of what we spend. I've never paid myself this amount of money before - it feels great!
  • hundredk
    hundredk Posts: 1,182 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    gmc1 wrote: »
    You're only asking about my own emotive reaction. I mentioned first that something like that is only irrelevant. It can't be right or wrong nor even morally recommendable in such a circumstance where the gift means only, as its highest meaning anyway, that it's completely up to Carrie. Personally I think, if she really wants the money instead, she should tell her friend the situation and ask if she would mind her bringing it back. The friend, if she had really wanted to do something to please or help Carrie her friend, is likely to be understanding. Carrie, though, I prefer, ought to be ready not to return the dress if her friend is hurt by the suggestion, and ready to turn around quickly and say, "I would love to keep it very much also, it's a lovely gift and because you feel strongly about it and my having it, I will keep it and cherish it."

    I gave my own first felt emotive reaction already anyway, that I personally preferred to imagine the story that Carrie didn't return the dress - but this is only a romantic black & white film escapist notion. When you realise that it's good that Carrie can do what she wants with it, and that the best help to her would probably be the money, your emotive reaction is quite likely to disappear altogether, and you may not have one anymore. In the end, it doesn't matter what you prefer - it may be that Carrie would find she benefits more from keeping the dress and enjoying it on nice ocassions over the next 4 years or so. It may be that Carrie needs the money now, but in 6 months time, she finds she could go and buy herself the dress and is in a financial position to buy a few of them. It may be that returning the dress for the money is the start of Carrie spiralling into debt and depression, and the return of the dress and her shame at doing that is a big factor in that. It's all up to Carrie. It's about how she feels at the time. One supposes she is a "grown up".
    Isn't that what the OP was asking?



    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:


    Should Carrie return her present?

    Carrie got a designer dress from her friend Samantha for Christmas. Samantha gave her the receipt in case the dress doesn't fit. Carrie loves the present, but is a bit broke and could use the £400 she would get from returning it. Should she return it without telling Samantha
This discussion has been closed.
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