Money Moral Dilemma: Should Carrie return her present?

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  • could she go to the shop to see if its in the sale? that way if it is she could return it and buy it again and use the money left over.... but tell her friend about it though, otherwise its a bit too underhand
  • Kirri
    Kirri Posts: 6,184 Forumite
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    I'd be a bit surprised if a friend bought an expensive present when I barely had enough money to live on, would maybe show they didn't know me that well! But a gift is a gift and I would not want to offend by returning it.
  • Hizz
    Hizz Posts: 1,537 Forumite
    Take it back, no hesitation from me!
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  • aliasojo
    aliasojo Posts: 23,053 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Carrie got a designer dress from her friend Samantha for Christmas. Samantha gave her the receipt in case the dress doesn't fit. Carrie loves the present, but is a bit broke and could use the £400 she would get from returning it. Should she return it without telling Samantha?

    Kirri wrote: »
    I'd be a bit surprised if a friend bought an expensive present when I barely had enough money to live on, would maybe show they didn't know me that well! But a gift is a gift and I would not want to offend by returning it.

    I think there's a big difference between being a bit broke and barely having enough to live on.

    Even if Carrie is a bit broke she should deal with her situation herself and not use a present kindly given to her by a friend as a 'bail out' means.
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  • If she has somewhere to wear it then do so, once. Then get it cleaned and put it on ebay.

    She can tell her friend if she thinks she would understand. If not, keep quiet and then say you put weight on. Make sure you get a picture of you out in the dress or at the very least wearing.

    A £400 dress is quite possibly a very embarrassing and thoughtless present. If her friend doesn't know how broke she is I would be surprised,
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  • Ama
    Ama Posts: 96 Forumite
    I will return the dress but will feel guilty afterwards for a week or so. I will probably confess to my friend at some point.
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  • gobbo
    gobbo Posts: 96 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Of course she should return it , her friend must have been daft in the first place to spend £400 on a dress , she can return it and buy something similar for under £50
    Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
    Should Carrie return her present?

    Carrie got a designer dress from her friend Samantha for Christmas. Samantha gave her the receipt in case the dress doesn't fit. Carrie loves the present, but is a bit broke and could use the £400 she would get from returning it. Should she return it without telling Samantha?

    Click reply to have your say

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  • She should tell her friend that she saw the receipt, but in her current financial state, cannot accept the gift. Then its down to her friend to give her the option of taking it back, and the moral issue is shifted. Booyah. X
  • Oneday77
    Oneday77 Posts: 1,242 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    She should keep it. Being broke is a huge dent to your confidence and a new designer dress may just give her the confidence/perk boost that she needs. It might even be useful to get a better job with :)
    People hide their finances very well so a friend can easily not know about someones financial difficulties.
    She should really get to the bottom of why she is broke and come visit :money: and get advice :)
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  • If I were Carrie, I'd talk to Samantha (if I could prise her away from a man!) about the situation. I'd explain that I LOVE the dress and I'm extremely grateful for her generosity, but that I could REALLY use the cash, would she mind...? I'm sure Sam would rather her friend had something that would be more helpful to Carrie and wouldn't mind at all. I know I wouldn't be upset.

    This actually happened in one of the earlier Sex and the City episodes. Someone (I think she was called Susan) gave Carrie an expensive Cashmere scarf for her birthday. Carrie was profuse in her thanks and praise for the gift, but said "Actually I'm really broke - would you mind if I exchanged it for the cash?" The other character said "Oh, yes, sure." and wasn't annoyed at all. I think they even had a bit of a laugh about it.

    Happy new year to all Moneysavers - hope it's a good one for you. x
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