Money Moral Dilemma: Should Carrie return her present?



  • *Vikki*
    *Vikki* Posts: 1,303 Forumite
    definitely take it back!
  • Jomo
    Jomo Posts: 8,253 Forumite
    No No No!

    I can't believe those who thinks it would be ok to take it back for the money!

    I wouldn't feel right in accepting a present for that amount anyway but if you do accept it...keep it!

    If you value the friendship that is...!
  • Maybe Samantha wanted to help Carrie without actually giving her the cash, which may cause offence?
  • I had to return a present this year because someone bought me something I already had. I felt bad enough about that! This person had put some serious thought in and picked something they knew I would like and there I was changing it for something else.
    Sam has clearly put some effort into the gift and returning it for cash would be ungreatful. She especially shouldn't go behind Samanthas back, or Samantha is just going to be sad when she never sees Carrie wearing the dress. There has to be other ways Carrie can drum up some extra cash, perhaps selling some of her old dresses on Ebay?
    On the subject of spending on presents, I really think it's not the cash, but the thought behind it. Some of the nicest presents I've got are the ones that weren't expensive but took some extra time and thought. At the same time, when my friends are skint, I think I'd be more likey to buy them something I know they can't afford for themselves, because that's the point of presents. A treat.
  • donquine
    donquine Posts: 695 Forumite
    robpw2 wrote: »
    id be most miffed to think my friend spent so much when she knew i couldnt afford it

    Bit ungrateful, really.

    Surely a good present is something you'd love, but never in a million years you would buy it for yourself?

    As for not being able to afford it - if you couldn't afford something lovely and someone went ahead and bought it for you, as an unconditional present - wouldn't that be such a kind gesture? No one gives to receive, so it's not as if you would have to buy a £400 present in return. Where does "affording" come into it?

    The type of person who spends £400 easily probably is cash rich time poor and would really appreciate some cheap to make home made goodies.

    If I was struggling financially, I wouldn't take back the dress. But I might well do the washing up whilst wearing it to cheer myself up if feeling a bit down about my money worries. You should always accept presents in the spirit they're given.
  • She should do what she darn well pleases. It's her dress. She'd better tell the friend if she does return it, though, to avoid embarassment.
  • Samantha has bought u a present, something that you would not buy for yourself, and by returning it for the cash, especially behind her back, goes against the point of the present. She bought you a dress, not cash.
    Either have the guts to talk to her about it or keep the dress.
  • dave2
    dave2 Posts: 264 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited 31 December 2009 at 2:58PM
    Don't "cash it in".

    Well OK if she was truly broke i.e. landlord is literally going to kick her out, well shelter has to be the priority. But not if "a bit broke" and "could use the money". Certainly discuss it tactfully with Samantha first.
  • i would see if the same dress was in the sale and buy it at reduced price before returning it- keeping the difference- only if i was desparate!
  • I think it could also be seen as an act of kindness. The friend buying the dress may have known of her friends financial situation and without wanting to offer her cash straight out, went about it in a less embarrassing way. Had she not wanted to give her the option of taking the dress back, I don't think she would have pointed out the receipt to her.
    Saved £££'s using coupons/discount codes/cashbacks
    Done the Edinburgh Moonwalk 2010(yeh !)
    Signed up to do....Woman's 10K Glasgow run
    Great Scottish Run and St Andrew's Hospice 6K run and Midnight walk (13 mile)
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 342.9K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.6K Spending & Discounts
  • 235K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.6K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.9K Life & Family
  • 247.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards