homemade presents and ungrateful family!!

Trow

Just bear in mind the positive aspects - you and your family enjoyed quality time together, it was educations but fun for the kids and you are teaching you kids to be ethical and independant.

I agree with so many posters here - if they don't appreciate the effort then they don't deserve the time, energy and money to be spent on them. They appear to be selfish individuals, and by the sounds of it I'd far rather have you and your family around to visit than theirs.

There is a group on ravelry (a knitters resource) for 'selfish knitters' - they choose not to gift their items, and for many of them the reason is because their time and effort goes unappreciated. The balance for me is only to give to those that would appreciate it. And for me, they wouldn't qualify. I think you should stick by what your OH has said, and miss them off your gift list for next year.

stardrops42

I know how upsetting it can be:mad: I made my MIL and my parents a pot of gold last year, my mam burst into tears and said it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever had (they are struggling for money a bit and us 6 kids all put a £20 note in it plus lottery tickets and scratch cards) My MIL on the other hand never really looked at it:mad: When I asked if she liked it a few days later she said "oh yeh it had chocolate coins in so I just let the kids open it and eat it all:mad: I said did you read the poem on the card and she said "no I didn't bother". Totally wasted on her so this year I just ordered her a necklace off QVC so didn't even waste my precious time on her;)

looby-loo_2

What you did was truely lovely and your child/ren will always remember doing that together. I was brought up to always make presents for my grandparents. I remember icing biscuits and I could only have been 4 or 5, then as I got older the gift became more advanced - pots of bulbs, sewing, knitting, preserves, etc. Always home made cards of course.

When I got married I was totally shocked by the reaction I got from my MIL when I gave her a selection of preserves. Apparently I was a cheapskate for not spending the exact £20. This was an extra present as my OH had bought her something. When the children were old enough they made cards which were not put up because they weren't 'proper cards', just 'childrens playing'.

In the end we just gave her vouchers but for the last two years when she moaned - 'oh, vouchers again' - I called her bluff 1) bought her a tree and just printed out the certificate and 2) adopted a vegetable from Garden Organic (with a suitably sarcastic name;) )

This year my DS1, 20+ came home for Christmas with a huge home made cake!! Teach your children the right values and you will be repaid in time

chops22

I think this is so sad. I understand why you are upset, and your OH. However your children are the lucky ones here. I wonder if your BIL spends such quality family tme with his children?

Money is lovely to have, but memories and a fun happy childhood are priceless.

I would tell them no presents next year. They really don't deserve your efforts.

moggylover

I would have loved such a present! I'm with those that say not to bother with exchanging presents with them anymore - they sound like a real waste of space!

the_rottweiler

I spend a good few quid on adult Nieces pressie this year and was distinctly underwhelmed by her response, but she also got a designer cashmere jumper form someone else and said instantly she didnt like it. Ungrateful cow
I bought my sis a £2 present and she adores it, she wants to get some to take home to friends (She lives abroad) so I had to tell her where to get them (espresso cups) and she was even more delighted when she found out they were so cheap. She loves a bargain

jamespir

i gave my family a mixture of some of the freebie things i had recieved and made really nice presents as they knew i was skint they said just get us a card

they were happy with there presents and we had a little joke about the freebies but i knew they were pleased none the less

bluestarrz

I feel really sorry for your OH here, that's a terrible attitude for his own brother to have. I made some homemade things and put them in a hamper with other relevant bought things. Most went down lovely but OH's dad looked at his present in front of entire family and declared "hmmm...that's really strange, don't think I would ever really use any of this..." and left it on the floor. There was such an awkward silence and I burst into tears when I got home.
It;s really really disheartening when I looked forward to everyones reactions to the gifts practically all year long. Next year, vouchers and I don't think I'll even take them to him personally...

Magnolia

That is just awful - I really feel for your DH having to hear that.

My youngest son and his girlfriend came for Christmas day, I know she is from a large family and had quite a few presents to buy so I was told not to get her anything. I couldn't let her sit there watching us open our presents with her having nothing so I told son there will be something for her under the tree but it wont have cost much.

She in return made up a hamper in a small basket of foods that we like (she checked with son first) It had cheeses and biscuits, pudding and chocolate and several other little tasty bits along side. It was beautifully wrapped and all came along with personal home made crackers.

The time and care that went into that gift made it all the more personal and we were all thrilled with it.

You put your time and effort into creating something personal for them and they throw it back in your face. Tell them to blow it out of their a$$ and don't give anything next year. Your efforts are more worthy than that sort of treatment.

I feel quite angry on your behalf :mad:

*edit* I have told my DH about this and now he is stomping round the garden while feeding the birds and feeling much the same as I do. Blooming ungrateful sods :mad:

ps - I forgot to say that each cracker had a keyring in with our birth dates and memorable people and occasions on them.

Minxz

That is terrible!
What ungratefulness- I'd not bother next year at all with them, and it must be very hard for your Oh too.
I too did homemade gifts this year, as all I had went on my (4) kids, and my family knew i was doing this. So how come, when i had spent months making jams & chutneys did my sis (who has money to burn) buy my father a selection of posh chutneys? I wasn't impressed! Some people, like your OH's family, can be very insensitive!

The rest of my family looked at the gifts, and didn't really thank me, and i had to ask what they thought.. and I got a ' yeah.. ta.'
You are not alone.. shame really as a lot of people were trying to cut back this xmas, yet all it takes is one ungrateful f\amily member to make us feel really angry/upset!

I'd cut them off your card list too
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