homemade presents and ungrateful family!!

Budgeting_mum

Your post made me mad. Your brother in law shouldn't give to receive and every family needs to manage their own budget responsibly.

You shouldn't feel bad about what you did but maybe pity for your brother in laws kids. How must he be raising them if all they are interested in are toys and the price of the gifts they get? What a poor example to set.

Don't feel outside pressure to commercialise this family time of year. Best wishes for 2010.

sukysue

I have to say that when I was younger I think I may have been more materialistic than now and that I too wouldn't have appreciated the gifts you made if I had them given to me. It is only now that I am older and wiser that I think hand made and home cooked things are so much nicer. In fact my dd2 made beautiful mince pies for my bil for xmas ,he had other things as well, but he prized these damn mince pies so highly he would not let anyone else have one ! I also think that home cooked stuff is still quite expensive when you add it all up and that the gifts did cost more than ppl may think. If I were you I would forget about it (or try to) and not buy for them and vice versa, let them all know in advance as it stops the hassle.I actually have another bil and partner who is very very mean and has bought awful things for my dds since they were born. It does annoy me but only because my mil makes such a song and dance about the presents when I know for a fact they have spent about a pound on them , I am not ungrateful honest but I am talking about pierced earrings and my dds have not got pierced ears. When I said to mil about it she defended them and said aw well she didn't know did she. I so want to tell them to stop buying for them but mil won't let me . Sorry to ramble on but you can see it happens in all families good luck anyway and don't let it spoil your xmas, right!

jo1972

I've just read this thread from start to finish and am boiling!! :mad:

I am not at all crafty (but intend to be :cool:) but worry that if I spend this next year learning all the fantastic things that go on in this forum that I might have the same response, mainly from the outlaws as they love to spend money on brand names. I know my mum would be delighted with something that I've spent time and effort on with little expense but I can just see my step-mother-in-law from hell opening a hamper :rotfl: in fact that makes me want to make one more mwhahahaha

Kandi, thank you so much for posting a pic of your movie hamper, I'm going to pinch it it you don't mind, for BIL and his wife, I know they will love it!

dobs

I remember when i was at primary school and had to get a mothers day present with my older sister. I didn't know what to get and decided she'd love it if i made something instead which i did. She did love it but my dad went mad for not buying anything with money - i had a thick ear and sent to my room with the silent treatment! Ever since then i have always spent too much on gifts and i'm sure that's where it comes from!
Kandipandi looking at your hamper you made and the things you put in it (with a lot of thought its obvious), plus a ten pound note it must have cost you quite a bit of money as well as thought and effort!

Claire_Bear

God I would have been so mad if someone had said that to me! I'm sure I would have cried too :mad: If it was just some toiletries set or generic gift and they said they didn't like it I wouldn't mind, but something which obviously had so much love and kindness and thought put into it... :mad::mad::mad: It makes me sad that some people can't see past the monetary value of things, and the first thing they think of when they receive a gift is 'how much did it cost?'. What an awful lesson to be teaching his children!

Personally I think your hamper sounds lush, I'll add my name to the list of people who you can send one to this year instead of bothering with ungrateful selfish people who don't deserve such lovely gifts

One of my favourite presents this year was a little handmade purse from my friend, you can tell it's had a lot of time put into it and I appreciate that a lot. In return I made her a sock monkey which she loves I think time and effort are a lot more valuable than money, anyone can just go and buy any old crap without thinking about it

Bobby2

lolly1981 wrote: »

sorry bit of a rant!
ohhh im so cross...my OH, my son and myself made hampers for family memebers as we didnt have masses of money to buy expensive wasteful gifts so we decided to put one together...we made jam, filled some mugs with chocolates (wrapped in cellophane and bows etc) made snowman soups, made gingerbread, lemon and peppermint creams.
my 5 yr old son helped decorate the gingerbread men, fill the mugs etc....a lot of time and effort went into it.

yesterday we call OH brother to thank him for the boys gifts and he goes straight into 'i didnt appreciate that basket you gave us, the kids were really dissapointed, they expected toys, you did this last year (we did get crappy cheap activity pack things as agaion no money) we always make an effort'
OH replies taht a lot of time and effort went into it, and we dont have alot of money and definatly not enough to buy all kids presents, we didnt even buy our own children alot.
but bro said it wasnt good enough and just went on and on about how he thought it was crap and the kids just wanted toys to open.
my OH ghot so upset he cried as he was so angry about the selfishness of it all (ne never ever cries over anything, and hes usually really laid back)...he even gave back the presents his bro gave our kids so that his brother cant throw it back in his face, jhes told his lot to not buy our children anything in future then there wont be this problem again.

even his sister was ungrateful for what we bought her, she was the only one we bought actual presents, they were mini cooper related things (as she collects minis) and she was like oh thanks...really rude.

am i right to get annoyed or should we just ignore it, for us family is what xmas is about not the toys the kids get, we have spent the last 4 days playing games and just enjoying each others company i thjought that was what it was about???

I am so sorry that you have such ungrateful relatives. Families are such strange creatures - you would NEVER speak to a stranger in this manner yet, speaking to people you supposedly care for is allowed?

Homemade gifts are beautiful, and they are made with love and kindness - what else is Christmas supposed to be about? It is really easy to go into town/the shops and buy gifts with little thought. Your relatives are just mean spirited people. You and your OH are doing the right thing, by teaching your child that if you do not have the money you cannot spend it.

On a selfish note, please add me to your christmas pressie list, I would love a homemade hamper!! LOL

mandymoomoo_2

I am hopping mad after reading this, and if I had your in-laws address think I would happily go round and do something naughty...with no doubt lots of other MSE's.... What an ungrateful bunch of t***s....

Rest assured that's its not you and your family, but the in-laws that are in the wrong....and there is no point in wasting your time fretting or worrying about it...Just let them be....It's true you can't pick your family, but you can certainly pick whether or not to bother with them...

They need a big kick up the backside and someone should deliver this thread to his email, so he can see what a p***k he is being...

littlerat

This is just awful

I have to admit as a child we always had quite a few pressies, Mum and Dad always got us a fair few - that said when other kids our age were getting the new technology which makes it look cheap now, we'd have toys and games, sometimes books, magazines, often things like books were actually 2nd hand. Grandparents again got us a few, weren't awful off but couldn't spend loads, we never really cared! It was just.. christmas!

Older now and we had quite a bit spent on us this christmas, but that was just how it went, wouldn't have been miserable without it, the best part of christmas for me was spending it with my family.


Our pressies are bought but they're often not what a lot of people understand, like 1 pressie I got Dad was a quirky coaster he loves.

If they can't see the joy in the presents it's their loss though, I love christmas so much I wouldn't care if someone gave me an apple wrapped up (errr.. that said, I did used to ask santa for fruit, possibly a strange child!).

BabyFranny

This sounds like the EXACT behaviour that my step-mother and youngest sister would pull off. When my sis got a toy bike for her dolly, her first reaction wasn't 'Yay!' or 'Thank You!'. It was 'But I wanted a pink one!' as the bike was blue. When I first started sewing and she was a few months old, I made her a dress from a trouser leg and elastic for straps, it took me three hours to stitch and wasn't that good, but I really wanted to make something for her. I gave it to my stepmum and it wasn't seen for ages. I discovered it tossed at the back of a wardrobe and that was that. I just hope my sister grows up like my younger brother, he learnt to be grateful with age, although I highly doubt it and will probably end up like Lolly's BIL. Shame.

crazy_girl

thats horrible! your presents sound lovely, id much prefer time and effort to wads of cash spent on stuff!

what a materialistic, selfish point of view to put on a child too!

i did hampers this year as we dont have much money, luckily they were appreciated, i would have cried too if id got that response!