Another idiot another new username

quietheart

Glad you had a good night out. It was a brave move to go out with someone you've had problems with in the past when you are feeling low. Well done!
It sounds like you have triggers that set off your negative thinking, like when you get home and feel alone again. You really need to go to your GP and start the road of feeling better about yourself. Don't give up hope!

verysillyguy06

idiotgirl wrote: »

that is one of the best theories I think I've ever heard.

So I've been out tonight, had a really awesome night, met up with a friend who I fell out with a while ago. We laughted loads, but then I come home and all my thoughts come rushing back.

I'm like a walking hormone bomb at the moment. I've never felt the need for a man in my life, I'm usually very independant. But every guy I see I'm thinking whether he likes me, if anything could happen...

I've never felt so desperate. I used to enjoy my single life, but now, I feel so lost and so scared that no one will ever want me.

Mr "I spent the night with and he's now being off with me", is kinda chatting but only if kinda forced into it. I know he's online but only chats when I chat to him first. I'm sure yet again there's someone else. A girl he actually wants to be with. I'm not easy. It sounds like there's all these guys that I keep falling for, but there's not. There's been very few. Which is why it hurts so much.Its like everyone has ganged up to treat me like !!!! all at the same time. Quick get her when she's vunerable...

I hate all this attention, I know there's loads out there thinking I'm some attention seeking troll or summat, but talking on here is the only thing keeping me kinda sane right now. Sorry to keep off loading on all of you.

#
Mse is the best medicine there is....cheap, cheerful and always available without needing to book an appointment!

But dont forget, it is over the counter and you will need more specific help if your feelings return.

I think you owe to you to first take stock and learn to respect yourself and your body. I know its hard and the temptation to find a quick fix with a new 'man' may be overpowering but it is likely to be just a sugar rush again and may end in more tears. The best advice is to talk to your friends as many wont feel as fantastic that you think and they are in a good position to help.

Try also ST john's for moodswings and dark moments...its is a good natural first one to try but do go along to your GP.

New Year and a new life ...good luck !!!

LegalBlonde

don't take a leap and tell the guy you love him. I don't think you do and you are probably transferring lots of feelings to him. Think about how you would feel if you were his GF, it is not her fault. Maybe I am biased because I am in a relationship but if you really did love him you would leave him be. I hate how in movies if someone gets together with someone else who is attached, that person's other half is always evil/an idiot/a bumbling fool/finds love themselves in the end. Life is just not like that and people are generally happy with their chosen OH or else they would not be with them. If they stay with them for dodgy reasons they are certainly not deserving of you!!!

As for your feelings about yourself you really need to go and see your GP and use January as a chance to get a hobby/do some exercise. I know it sounds daunting but you can exercise/go running etc by yourself. Or get a Wii or join SparkPeople which I would highly recommend (google it, it is a fitness website where you track your exercise and eating, there is youtube exercise videos, forums like this, facebook style profiles and everyone is soooooooo nice. If you or anyone is on it I am LegallyTink on there)

Sorry if I sound stand offish, I am a sunny person and sometimes I sound off hand when I am trying to cheer people up. But I have felt down myself at times and there is a history of depression in my family so I can vouch for the fact that alot of it is mental attitude. I think you should get a GP appt ASAP. I hope you can come back on to let us know how you get on x

Morglin

idiotgirl wrote: »

that is one of the best theories I think I've ever heard.

So I've been out tonight, had a really awesome night, met up with a friend who I fell out with a while ago. We laughted loads, but then I come home and all my thoughts come rushing back.

I'm like a walking hormone bomb at the moment. I've never felt the need for a man in my life, I'm usually very independant. But every guy I see I'm thinking whether he likes me, if anything could happen...

I've never felt so desperate. I used to enjoy my single life, but now, I feel so lost and so scared that no one will ever want me.

Mr "I spent the night with and he's now being off with me", is kinda chatting but only if kinda forced into it. I know he's online but only chats when I chat to him first. I'm sure yet again there's someone else. A girl he actually wants to be with. I'm not easy. It sounds like there's all these guys that I keep falling for, but there's not. There's been very few. Which is why it hurts so much.Its like everyone has ganged up to treat me like !!!! all at the same time. Quick get her when she's vunerable...

I hate all this attention, I know there's loads out there thinking I'm some attention seeking troll or summat, but talking on here is the only thing keeping me kinda sane right now. Sorry to keep off loading on all of you.

I think you need some TLC - but, you'd be best sorting out your own emotional issues before you look for a new guy.:rolleyes:

Relationships are funny things - they usually turn up when you aren't looking for them.

At the moment, you are probably coming across as a bit 'desperate' and therefore, men and others are walking over you - sort yourself out with help to become more positive about yourself - and then things will change.;)

Lin

idiotgirl

Try writing a little list of what is wrong

I'm gonna give it a try, but I'm finding it really hard to explain my feelings on here as I don't understand them myself.

I know its hard and the temptation to find a quick fix with a new 'man'

I've never really looked at men as a quick fix, I've known these guys for years, we were good friends, which is why I trusted them so much.

don't take a leap and tell the guy you love him

I'm not going to. I couldn't do that to his gf, she doesn't deserve it. and he's already proven himself to be a waste of space.


I'm so numb, and so tired. I just want someone to wave a magic wand and make it stop.

dieselhead

Gosh you could be me, a few months ago!

I think these feelings are a lot more common than you might think. I have discovered that keeping busy is useful, if my mind is occupied there is a lot less opportunity to dwell on the things in my life that aren't going according to plan. I try to separate things out, thinks that have gone wrong or that worry me are put away if you like in a box in my head, not to be thought about, because they don't matter and will just upset me. They do of course have to be faced, but it is easier to cross that bridge when I come to it rather than worry about problems that might never arise or may not be as bad as I have thought. I have a list of all the things in my life that I am proud of, my degree, my job, some awards I have won, and try to remember those.

Life has its ups and downs and its OK to be sad and cross and think that things never go you way sometimes, but life does have its good moments, and I am sure if you really think hard you will have laughed more than you have cried. Keep posting and reading on MSE, people on here are so kind and will continue to post messages of support, but also read, I have often read posts written in absolute desperation and I have thought OK maybe my life isn't so bad after all!

sp1987

idiotgirl wrote: »

I'm gonna give it a try, but I'm finding it really hard to explain my feelings on here as I don't understand them myself.

Ok, well, for a start you seem upset by your personal situation in that you feel you are lacking a long term relationship? You feel unable to share things with people due to fear that they will not be supportive and will think less of you? You have low self esteem and cannot seem to correct negative feelings by yourself? You even started a thread here with the name ''idiotgirl'' as you thought you were being stupid/overreacting about it, many people think the sun shines out of their backsides so this is an obvious example of how you do not view yourself very well.

You really do sound like you have hit a bit of a wall and need a bit of help climbing over it. Don't feel you ''need'' to identify a specific problem, you may have just had all this building up for a while and suddenly it has all fallen in on you. If you can say anything at all about why/since when it may help a professional discuss how to progress with you. Self esteem issues need a different approach to feelings of loss, for example.

I think you sound like someone who needs to speak to an impartial person and have a few sessions with a counsellor to see if they can establish what it is that bothers you and how you can progress.

When I first had anxiety symptoms I had to be tested for an overactive thyroid as one of the side effects of this were feelings of anxiety (I was very underweight and panicked, so an obvious choice!) so there may be a physical explanation for your difficulties, or there may not as in my case. Always best to check to ensure you are not trying to fix something caused by an illness/physical imbalance as you will not be able to sort that one without a bit of medical help.