Another idiot another new username

idiotgirl

They do, but I just can't. I'm terrified they're going to turn round and tell me I'm mad or not wanna know me or something. I dunno I just can't get the words out with them. They're great people, but they never seem to care if I'm struggling.

Mips

idiotgirl wrote: »

They do, but I just can't. I'm terrified they're going to turn round and tell me I'm mad or not wanna know me or something. I dunno I just can't get the words out with them. They're great people, but they never seem to care if I'm struggling.

Most people are so wrapped up in themselves they can't see what is going on with people around them.. but it doesn't mean they wont care

quietheart

idiotgirl wrote: »

They do, but I just can't. I'm terrified they're going to turn round and tell me I'm mad or not wanna know me or something. I dunno I just can't get the words out with them. They're great people, but they never seem to care if I'm struggling.

try some new friends who will know how you feel

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1593859

x

Savvy_Sue

idiotgirl wrote: »

The more I go out the more I realise that I'm nothing. I'm not funny, pretty ,clever, just fat, ugly and annoying. All of my friends are so fantastic, I just don't seem to be anything.

Have you ever asked your friends if they FEEL so fantastic? I'll bet most of them feel they're not funny, pretty or clever, just fat, ugly and annoying. If not all the time, at least some of it.

idiotgirl wrote: »

I really don't want medication though, so I'm not sure there's much they can do.

As has already been said, they can refer you for counselling. And you do seem to have really low self-esteem, so starting to work on that with a neutral person would help.

idiotgirl wrote: »

They do, but I just can't. I'm terrified they're going to turn round and tell me I'm mad or not wanna know me or something. I dunno I just can't get the words out with them. They're great people, but they never seem to care if I'm struggling.

They can't care if they don't know, and they won't know if you don't tell at least one of them. Not all of them will be any help, and telling a whole group probably isn't the way to go. But true friends care ...

larmy16

Awwww Idiot girl - not good to have to call you that as you don't sound like an idiot to me one bit.

I really can identify with so many of your feelings about yourself. The looking in the mirror thing and thinking you are a freak is easily solved - stop looking in the mirror. Besides checking you don't have broccoli in your teeth which only requires a tiny mirror - you are just wasting energy torturing yourself in scrutiny of your failings (in your eyes) - give this up at least for the time being.

As Dippy says, you are most likely valued by all the people in your close circle. Sometimes we overemphasise the importance of having a partner in our lives. It is only worth while if it is the right partner. All those fair weather, flirty, underpants dropping guys are not going to do anything for your self esteem.

Don't play hard to get - be hard to get. If Mr Right never comes along, then you are a worthwhile person in your own right. We were not born in a couple and will not leave this earth in a couple.

I sincerely hope you can get some help from the doctor. A course of anti depressants may help you to cope while everything is so raw at the moment.

I sincerely hope that there is a light on your horizon and you can start the new year with more hope in your heart and more importantly more love in your heart for you.......it is not easy.......but it is always worth working towards.

As a last remark, if you can afford to, I highly recommend seeing a hypnotherapist. I did and it helped me tremendously. I felt many of the emotions you do currently.

I dip in and out of feelings of self loathing......but I am very lucky that my friends and family help and accept me through these times. I do, when I am well in my mind, give an awful lot back and am told am fun to be around.

I just bet you are too.! All the best and here is a huge loving hug from me (((((hug)))))). XX

Savvy_Sue

larmy16 wrote: »

If Mr Right never comes along, then you are a worthwhile person in your own right. We were not born in a couple and will not leave this earth in a couple.

:T:T:T:T:T Oh well said!

idiotgirl

larmy16 wrote: »

We were not born in a couple and will not leave this earth in a couple.

that is one of the best theories I think I've ever heard.

So I've been out tonight, had a really awesome night, met up with a friend who I fell out with a while ago. We laughted loads, but then I come home and all my thoughts come rushing back.

I'm like a walking hormone bomb at the moment. I've never felt the need for a man in my life, I'm usually very independant. But every guy I see I'm thinking whether he likes me, if anything could happen...

I've never felt so desperate. I used to enjoy my single life, but now, I feel so lost and so scared that no one will ever want me.

Mr "I spent the night with and he's now being off with me", is kinda chatting but only if kinda forced into it. I know he's online but only chats when I chat to him first. I'm sure yet again there's someone else. A girl he actually wants to be with. I'm not easy. It sounds like there's all these guys that I keep falling for, but there's not. There's been very few. Which is why it hurts so much.Its like everyone has ganged up to treat me like !!!! all at the same time. Quick get her when she's vunerable...

I hate all this attention, I know there's loads out there thinking I'm some attention seeking troll or summat, but talking on here is the only thing keeping me kinda sane right now. Sorry to keep off loading on all of you.

my_definition

dont think theres much i could say to make you feel any better or advice that hasnt been said but you shouldnt care about anyone thats reading this and thinks your seeking attention. people wouldnt be answering if they thought you were just off loading things and it can be good to get stuff off your chest

just want to send you a big hug and hope you start feeling a bit better though i realise its easier said than done xx

sp1987

You really need to pop along to your GP, they can do things as how you are feeling is pretty ''normal'' for many people at one time or another in life. Try writing a little list of what is wrong so you can pass it over if you cannot say the words ''feel like I'm losing the plot and cannot stop crying'' to someone over a desk with a serious expression. The worst thing to do is leave having not got the words out as you'll just regret that.

I find it very difficult to talk to people if there is anything wrong with me, it is no bad thing in itself you just need to be aware of how you can cope with things yourself or open up to others (either may work better for you).

As for the suicidal thoughts, keep a note of when they specifically are and maybe put a cross in a diary to see if particularly bad feelings happen at a particular time of day, week, month etc. You seem to ascertain that only when you are at home on your own do you get particularly down and bothered by bad feelings, which means you need to spend as long away from that situation as you reasonably can.

A lot of recovering/feeling better is limiting future damage whilst you find ways to negotiate the difficulties you already have. Think of it as your car breaking down; you are stuck in a broken down car...make sure the handbrake is on so you do not roll into anything, make sure you have a drink so you don't die of thirst, put a coat on so you don't freeze, make sure you get out of your car and into a safe place so you don't get hit by another vehicle and wait for the AA. Your car is still broken until it is able to be fixed a little while later but at least you haven't made yourself any worse off! With this in mind prioritise staying physically healthy and trying to eat/sleep/get to work as normal where possible to keep yourself where you need to be when the rest is sorted out.

Morglin

idiotgirl wrote: »

Wow, thats alot of replies. Thank you everyone. Its really helped reading your replies.



I've spent most of my life single trying to sort myself out, and everytime I have I get knocked back down again. Everytime a bit lower, till I've turned out like this. I don't wanna be bitter against everyone, but I feel like I've been hurt so much I can't take it ever again, but if I'm gonna be miserable and alone then there's no point surely? If it wasn't for my rabbit I'd probably have given up a long time ago.

But I have to try, so I'm gonna listen, bit stupid to post if I'm not gonna give everyones advice a try. I'll book myself in at the docs, I'm scaring myself too much not to.

Thank you so much everyone.

The point is, that if you take some action (GP, counsellor) to raise your feelings of self worth and to help you 'love yourself', then because of the 'vibes' you will give out, you will be much less likely to attract those that want to walk over you, and even if they do, you will be mentally strong enough to shrug your shoulders and ignore them.;)

'Users' tend to hone in on those they think will allow themselves to be used.

Where love and relationships are concerned, I expect we have all been hurt at some point - but, better to experience that than to lose out on potentially good relationships by being too worried about what might happen to let yourself go.

Lin