Ring - to keep or not to keep, to wear or not to wear?

tayler_remi

To cut a long story short, I have been in a 2 year (on and off) relationship with a guy I loved... well, love, very much. However recently he called it off for good, and I truly believe it's over now and want to move on as this can't work anymore.

However for my birthday he gave me a beautiful ring I had had my eye on for absolutely ages and was mad about. It's not majorly expensive but it's very beautiful and has precious stones in it. We technically split up in October but had been seeing each other until last week. He had said, whilst we were seeing each other, 'As long as you wear that ring on your finger, I'll know you still want to be with me.'

The question is, 1) do I keep the ring, or do I give it back to him along with his other stuff? and 2) if I keep it, do I wear it? I love it, but it's so symbolic, every time I look at it I ache a little and I feel like I'm carrying something with me. It almost feels like a pre-engagement ring as we'd talked about getting engaged in a year or two, so it makes me feel quite emotional.

Advice would be great, thankyou.

Primrose

As you truly believe the relationship is over, I don't see the point of wearing the ring he gave you - at least not at the moment. Every time you look at it, it will feel like picking a healing scab. Put it away somewhere safe and forget about it. In time, when you have healed and feel you can wear it without aching, bring it out of its hiding place and enjoy wearing it.

McKneff

I think i would offer it back to him. See what he says.
If he doesnt want it, i think i would insist.
If its over for good, and you are sure, best to put a full stop to a part of your life and move on.

Either put it away in the loft and you can look at it in 10 years with fond memories when you have met someone who you settle down with when you go up there for some peace from the kids.

Or you could really put a full stop to it to enable you to move on by selling it.

fantasia322

Wear it (&see what happens) you know you want too. tell the guy you want to know exactly what the ring symbolises for his. You DO need an honest answer x

Ddraig

If you have to ask then dont bother.It will only cause more heart ache in the long run xxx

DVardysShadow

tayler_remi wrote: »

... We technically split up in October but had been seeing each other until last week. He had said, whilst we were seeing each other, 'As long as you wear that ring on your finger, I'll know you still want to be with me.'

The question is, 1) do I keep the ring, or do I give it back to him along with his other stuff? and 2) if I keep it, do I wear it? I love it, but it's so symbolic, every time I look at it I ache a little and I feel like I'm carrying something with me. It almost feels like a pre-engagement ring as we'd talked about getting engaged in a year or two, so it makes me feel quite emotional.

Your first choice is whether to be with him. I'm assuming you have chosen not to be.

Your next choice is whether to take him at his word when he says 'As long as you wear that ring on your finger, I'll know you still want to be with me.'

Then you choose whether to wear the ring

If you choose to take him at his word, but don't want to be with him and you do want to wear the ring, you better get it straight with him exactly where you stand.

dieselhead

When I split up with one boyfriend he had bought me some lovely gifts including a beautiful pen. I just could not bring myself to use or even look at any of the stuff let alone the pen. So I put it all in a box in the back of my wardrobe and tried to forget. A year or so ago a few years after the end of the relationship I pulled out the box again and now happily use that lovely pen day to day, my life has moved on and all those feelings of hurt have faded, and it is a reminder of all the happy times not the sadness of the breakup.

So for the time being put the ring away and in the future you will be able to wear it again.

Make-it-3

Do you think you can ever look at the ring and enjoy it for its own beauty??? If so put it away for now. If not give it back. Simple

tandraig

It was a birthday present - not an engagement ring - so keep it! I wouldnt wear it for fear of him seeing me wearing it and thinking ' oh, she still loves me'! put it away for now, then in time see how you feel about wearing it. I'm sorry about the breakup hun, but better now than after marraige, it may hurt just as much but at least you havent got the legalities to go through.

*Vikki*

I would keep it, maybe pop it on a necklace and keep it out of his site.

Rummer

If you love it keep it, after all you had two years together and it can be a celebration of the happy times.