Falling for friend at work(i'm married)

Claire3121

Morgan_Ree wrote: »

Does your OH know this man is coming over??

Yes he does.

lostinrates

If you don't feel able to cancel I would certainly invite a couple of other people: perhaps ther are some other people who are single and far from family? I wouldn't be alone with this person while confused, not around your children and not in your family home: it risks adding to your confused feelings IMO.

Morgan_Ree

Claire3121 wrote: »

Yes he does.

You are totally abusing your husbands trust

No offence but this is a bizarre situation
Your husband is going to be at work on xmas day so you invite over the man you say you are falling for
Just what were you thinking????

I really can't imagine your husband is happy about this. He may say he's fne about it but how do you think he feels knowing that another man is going to be in his house, with his pregnant wife and son eating xmas dinner together?


You really are asking for trouble

littlemissmoney

Change your plans for xmas day, fast! If you don't, it will end in disaster.

squidge60

Sorry but i dont get why you are even going there 16wks ago all was fine with you and oh wasnt it How can you even be thinking of another guy when you are pregnant with your ohs baby I had a friend yrs ago who was in the same situ and guess what it all ended in tears.! I suggest you at least wait until you have had the baby before going any further (maybe you are feeling neglected) ? talk to oh and get your head straight. Good luck with the pregnancy.:D

Running_Horse

Claire3121 wrote: »

I was half asleep on the sofa when he stroked my hair and kissed me.

This is very creepy behaviour for any man. It's like getting a girl drunk for sex. He is playing on your emotions at a very difficult time. Seriously, this is very exploitative, and one day you will resent what you currently find attractive.

CAFCGirl

Super honest pregnant woman view coming on now:

I too am 16 weeks pregnant and have had a hell of a time with my DH...... I suffered a loss last year and although so far this pregnancy has been going well, I am still scared to my core every day. I made little comments to my hubby, but he just said dont worry and carried on about his business....
So there I am with all this time on my hands, thinking he's being really unsupportive that I just blew up, had an absolute hysterical fit and cried for 3 hours, telling him that I felt he had no compassion for me, gave me pathetic one liners as if they were supposed to dispell all my fears, and that I thought I'd be better off on my own than have him half heartedly in it with me....

And you know what happened......?

It rocked him to his absolute core that I hadnt shared any of it with him sooner, that I'd spent my days mulling it over, and even got to the stage where I though I'd be better off alone...

Moral of the story, he cant help you if a) you dont tell him whats wrong and b) you dont tell him what he can do to help you!

And looking back on what happened over my weekend, what else did I realise?
Just how unsupportive I had been of my husband. WE lost a baby last year, not just me, but WE, the baby was a part of him too.....
He is just as scared as I am that it will all happen again, because WE are pregnant, not just me, but WE, this baby is a part of him too....

And he loves him just as much as I do....

He cant get inside your head, but it sounds like you are letting a fantastical view of what life could be like with this work colleague overtake your mind.....
Why dont you spend time thinking how fantastic life can be with your husband, if you open up and share your concerns with him.....

And plus, have you ever stopped to realise how your huband feels KNOWING that you would rather be cared for a whole week after that scare, and many more days since by someone else....
No wonder he's burying himself in his work, you're giving him plenty of signals to say you dont want him around......

And quite frankly, if any of my male friends did that to me, when I wa emotionally and physically vunerable, they would not be coming round my house on xmas day, getting to play the happy family!!!!

Apologies for any harsh tone.... have gone into full blown pregnant woman rant...

I really do hope that you talk to your husband and get some distance from this guy at work....

ManOnTheMoon

Sorry Claire, but i've seen it all before. The two mothers of my children both cheated (both for the same reason - couldn't deal with kids and had to find something exciting) and both times the guy was a slimy idiot who had more than just one married woman on the go, so this guy has likely got women in different places that are just like you, vulnerbale and needy. My relationships were over at that point and if you take this any further and your OH finds out, if he had any sense he'd end your relationship too, so you'll have a child from a broken home and a lover who will probably be bored of you by then.

Maybe a bit of communication with OH and you can get through this pregnancy together by sharing concerns and eventually the joy of a newborn. That will be worth a million cheap thrills, I guarantee.

jamesey07

i hope right now that your husband ( remember the guy you said your vows to?) is out with another woman saying the same about you and that he is sharing his feelings with, and going to meet on xmas day, how would this feel to you? well if you do cheat on him i hope karma bites you were the sun don't shine as you will be paranoid the rest of your life for being a cheater, just remember if this guy gets sex with u which is most likely is only what he wants, (do you seriously think he is going to want to stick around with someone with a screaming baby each night) and the goes magicaly away after he has had you and you r left with no 1 then you only have yourself to blame, just remember that

DVardysShadow

jamesey07 wrote: »

i hope right now that your husband ( remember the guy you said your vows to?) is out with another woman saying the same about you and that he is sharing his feelings with, and going to meet on xmas day, how would this feel to you? well if you do cheat on him i hope karma bites you were the sun don't shine as you will be paranoid the rest of your life for being a cheater, just remember if this guy gets sex with u which is most likely is only what he wants, (do you seriously think he is going to want to stick around with someone with a screaming baby each night) and the goes magicaly away after he has had you and you r left with no 1 then you only have yourself to blame, just remember that

What a charmless little rant. What would you suggest if OP took things further with this other man rather than realising there was an issue and coming on here for advice?