bipolar?

Anthillmob

i dont need to drink them, its a habit like the fags were. ive knocked it on the head before. i dont know why i do it. my partner does as well. but if i stopped and he didnt it wouldnt bother me.

choille

Pop the money you save from not having all those tins into an empty can. Sounds like you've slid into a habit - Loads of sugar, have you had your sugar levels tested?
Hope you get a good appointment tomorrow & you are clued up as to what is going on with your moods.

Anthillmob

and here we go....a fairly ok day ruined by me not knowing how to deal with a 4 year old getting out of bed and having a tantrum. oh dealt with it and i feel like a crap mother. i do anyway, ive never been one for playing with them and reading to them. jesus im opening up here. reason? cant be bothered. like i cant be bothered to get out of bed in the morning but have to. i hate my !!!!ing life, well this aspect of it anyway.

i should be playing with my kids but i cant be bothered because im a crap mum.

told the oh to take the kids away for crimbo as planned and just leave me here. of course he wont and this wont happen but i really cant be !!!!ed with anything anyore.

sorry. i know there are people far worse than me but i need to talk to someone.

sandy71

Anthillmob wrote: »

and here we go....a fairly ok day ruined by me not knowing how to deal with a 4 year old getting out of bed and having a tantrum. oh dealt with it and i feel like a crap mother. i do anyway, ive never been one for playing with them and reading to them. jesus im opening up here. reason? cant be bothered. like i cant be bothered to get out of bed in the morning but have to. i hate my !!!!ing life, well this aspect of it anyway.

i should be playing with my kids but i cant be bothered because im a crap mum.

told the oh to take the kids away for crimbo as planned and just leave me here. of course he wont and this wont happen but i really cant be !!!!ed with anything anyore.

sorry. i know there are people far worse than me but i need to talk to someone.

You are not a crap mother just because you don't play with them, I'm the same. Thats why we have more than one child so they can entertain each other

I have days where I just want to crawl into a hole and it happens a lot.
Talk to your doc tomorrow, write everything down if it helps and hope he can help you.

gizmo111

Anthillmob wrote: »

and here we go....a fairly ok day ruined by me not knowing how to deal with a 4 year old getting out of bed and having a tantrum. oh dealt with it and i feel like a crap mother. i do anyway, ive never been one for playing with them and reading to them. jesus im opening up here. reason? cant be bothered. like i cant be bothered to get out of bed in the morning but have to. i hate my !!!!ing life, well this aspect of it anyway.

i should be playing with my kids but i cant be bothered because im a crap mum.

told the oh to take the kids away for crimbo as planned and just leave me here. of course he wont and this wont happen but i really cant be !!!!ed with anything anyore.

sorry. i know there are people far worse than me but i need to talk to someone.

Oh Any, you really are in a bad place emotionally and need help, wish I was near to you to be able to help you get all those feelings out. Please see the GP and talk asap.
Regards the alcohol - I'll do a littl google search for you and see how you think you rate as being dependent, there are some very good forums for people who need to understand how alcohol is ruining their life but don't meet the sterotype alcoholic.

Take Care xx

gizmo111

Hi here's the first valid link I can find - I have more just hang on in there honey

http://www.brighteyecounselling.co.uk/alcohol-drugs/am-i-an-alcoholic/

Anthillmob

im trying to explain stuff now to my oh but he dont get it. im in a mess.

he has listened but dont know what to do. bless him.

lolababy

Hi sounds as if your depressed and the drinking is making you erratic.. It could be postnatal depression which if not treated can remain for years. A medical check would be the best option.

moggylover

Hang on in there Ant, and tell the doctor everything! The sort of behaviour/moods you describe could just as easily be from clinical depression as bi-polar and you need to talk it all through with someone professional.

Glad to see you have a decent doctor to talk to, and I bet that he can get you sorted.

I would suggest that if you are suffering from a degree of clinical depression then the alcohol (which is a depressant) will not help at all, so if you can lay off it then that would perhaps be the best thing - but again I think you need to talk to the doctor.

As to a carp mum: I doubt there are any perfect ones out there! You are doing your best, and acknowledging what is happening to you and going to try to get it sorted! That takes courage, and means that you care enough about your family to face it and try! Many of us have been there and it doesn't have to last forever so chin up and get that help to get back on track. You can make it up to your kids, I talk to mine even now about how bad tempered and horrible I was when they were little and stress that I could not help it at that time and regret it deeply. It costs nothing to say you are sorry and explain: and in my opinion in can do a great deal to repair any damage that you might feel you have inflicted by shouting.

This time of year is particularly hard, not just the stress of Christmas but also the dark nights and horrible weather, for depressives and you have my sincere sympathy. I do hope the doctor listens and feel sure that he will be able to help.

Good luck

Ruby_Moon

Seen this time and time again.
Depressive alcoholic and not at all helped by the fact that you have recently stopped smoking (how long ago, I don't know but it can affect your moods for up to 6 months) and also your change of medication. (again, it would depend on what it is, what its changed from and how long it is since starting it.)
You are not able to measure what an alcoholic 'is'.
Not all alcoholics drink every day.
Not all alcoholics drink in the day time.
Not all alcoholics have trouble from refraining from alcohol.
Not all alcoholics drink strong lagers or spirits.
Noone else can tell you whether or not you are an alcoholic, that is down to you.
You are certainly coming across as being depressive alcoholic though and the good old 'Jekkle and Hyde' are there too.
GP's are ok but not all of them are familiar or sympathetic to alcoholic problems and their advice/treatment can often be lacking but there are some good ones around, so if you can find a good one who will support you, he/she may well help you out.