How to cope when OH picks friends over you

superdood

You are definitely not the only one. As for my OH he'll be off to play footy every Saturday on his ONLY day off. I have learned over the years that no matter how much I sulk, or plead, etc...he'll still spend most of the morning having a lie in, getting ready to go play footy and go to the pub after the match, leaving me alone with the kids :rolleyes: The kids and I just mostly do our own thing during the football season. Sometimes I go and watch the game just so I can see him, sad or what, lol? But atleast I get a drink and some warm grub at the pub after I just tag along where I can, I don't care if I cramp his style, he usually takes the hint. And his footys been rained off for 3 weeks running now :rotfl:

superdood

I'm laughing now but God, when it gets to the end of the season I won't see him for weeks he'll be playing every night of the week to make up for all the matches that have been rained off. Like you tandraig, nothing stops him. He went out to play the day after I gave birth, I couldn't even stand up on my own :mad:
Bl**dy men and their bl**dy sport :rolleyes:
Don't get me started on rugby lol

BitterAndTwisted

I honestly don't think you're being childish, I think it's your OH. If he's so keen on spending time with his mates at the expense of spending time with you ask him how he'd like them doing his blessed laundry and providing "extra services" instead of you. I think he's treating you like his mother or some kind of housekeeper or something. In your place I'd have a serious conversation about this and I'd threaten to leave if things didn't change. A grass-widow is one thing but being totally neglected and taken for granted is beyond the Pale to me.

superdood

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I honestly don't think you're being childish, I think it's your OH. If he's so keen on spending time with his mates at the expense of spending time with you ask him how he'd like them doing his blessed laundry and providing "extra services" instead of you. I think he's treating you like his mother or some kind of housekeeper or something. In your place I'd have a serious conversation about this and I'd threaten to leave if things didn't change. A grass-widow is one thing but being totally neglected and taken for granted is beyond the Pale to me.

Yes I agree, joking aside, in my experience men don't take subtlety and hints. Tell him how fed up you are. Tell him what you've told us, that you are happy for him to go out with his mates occasionally but you're feeling neglected and really want some time together to feel like a couple. It's really not an unreasonable request.

shazrobo

ready this thread has made me realise i'm not the only one my OH loves rugby too, and off he goes to teh matches most sundays leaving me and kids to do our own thing during the rugby season. tuesday nights he's at the pub playing pool. he does try and spend other nights with me if he gets the chance, he works shifts as well

tandraig

tbh - I wish I had had the confidence to say to OH 'if rugby is more important to you than me or the kids - then f*** off now'. when we were courting he had horses and included me with that hobby - then he found rugby - the horses were sold and he listened to those stupid sods who thought they were so macho. I HATE rugby and i think men whose sole purpose in life is sport are so childish! selfish and i hated that he put rugby first - and still does - even though the club treat him like crap - he goes back and does the first aid arrrrgggh - he wonders why I dont like him?

squirrelchops

I think my OH would rename this 'how to cope when your girlfriend picks writing her essays over you'!!! Seriously thought I have been happy to pack OH off to his mates for the last 3 weekends in a row as I have so much work to do but will be doen by the end of this week!

I am fortunate that OH doesn't have any regular things he goes out to. Mind you rugby would be his one thing (he is Welsh too)...

busiscoming2

Find yourself another non sporty bloke to go out with you when OH is too busy! He'll soon get the message then! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Liquorice_Twirls

Sounds like he has the best of both worlds - being a single man and being a part of a couple when it suits. Which is he and does he think its ok for you to do the same?

tandraig

dont really want to harp on - but if OP is a girlfriend now - when you can expect to be treated well? what is in the future? from own experience - you will be treated as housekeeper and resident !!!!!! and a replacement for mam!
you want to be that - then let him carry on. if you dont - set the rules hun. and DO NOT commit to him until you feel you come first with him. my advice. its hurtful to come after a stupid sport - my OH still doesnt understand that - after 34 years! one reason i dont like him!