Potentially homeless teenager

Ames

If he has enough social problems that he wouldn't be able to cope in a shared house then surely he should be able to get at least lower rate mobility. He's probably easily confused in new places, which could lead to him lashing out. He might find it difficult to ask for help and directions from a stranger. Problems concentrating could lead to dangerous situations - forgetting to turn the cooker off, or lock the door. Problems concentrating and following a recipe could lead to him passing the cooking test. There could be problems communicating with strangers. Lots of things which apply to a DLA application.

poet123

Most of my ADHD students manage to lead independent lives, in terms of commuting, asking for help, etc. I doubt they would actually be "needy" enough to fulfil the onerous criteria for DLA.

Oldernotwiser

No, I can't see it either; nothing that the OP has written suggests that these are factors for this boy, even if these were really things that would qualify for DLA. In fact, from what the OP says, he's managing perfectly well, apart from these domestic problems.

hethmar

I did in fact get DLA for our boy when he went missing and then ended up in b and b at 16 - basically because he was unable to complete forms for any sort of benefits and even when I or others completed them for him he would forget to take them to the right people for help. So he was literally starving at one point and stealing from supermarkets to eat.

So it does depend on what sort of evidence you could give for the boy but then you would need back up by a GP and by CAMHS.

But looking at a couple of the above postings, so agree how these kids can turn on their undoubted charm -for a SHORT time - to get round people. Our boy went to live with another boys family - similar circs to OPs story, dad did indeed throw him literally out the door at one point (I think that was the time he was burning the bedroom going to sleep with canabis ciggies still alight and sniffing lighter gas) and his bags after him. You cannot understand the pain in my heart for that most awful period of his/our lives. I used to walk round the city looking for him with bags of shopping. Quite often finding him begging. No one can imagine how it feels to see your child like that.

But point being, after he went to live with this "wonderful" couple - and they phoned us to say what a charming boy he was and to infer what dreadful people we were to "give up" on him - suddenly we had a call after 5 weeks saying they had decided to move, so he had to come back to us. LOL, 7 years later and they are still in that house.

Jowo_2

blueotter wrote: »

Jowo wrote: »

As far as I can tell, it's done nothing positive for him.

its my understanding that he is using drugs, drinking heavily, working cash in hand intermittently and is often without power because his budgeting is so poor

Think perhaps you'd be better off giving this advice to your nephew rather than broadcast it on an internet chat room.......surely that would be more positive for him.

How does your girlfriend feel about your publicly stated preference to pack her off into social housing to raise your child because you feel the state does not pay you enough benefits on top of your 25k salary to subsidise your family? You big charmer, you.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2123275

_Layla_

With regards to the OP, I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said concerning benefit entitlement etc.

As for having this boy living with you, whilst I admire your concern, I feel I need to point out something blatantly obvious to me due to my experience. Allow me to briefly explain...

When I was 15 and my then boyfriend was 16, he moved into our spare room as his home life was pretty shocking and my mum, like you the OP, felt for him.

I ended up pregnant at 15, and a single mother pretty soon thereafter.

Please... consider your daughter. Teenagers are reckless. I am almost 30 now, and would never consider allowing my own daughter to have a boy living here.

Just a thought...

Kay_Peel

A friend of mine allowed her daughter's 17 year old boyfriend to stay after his family had thrown him out. The daughter quickly went off him and didn't want him around. He wouldn't leave. To cut a long story short they had to call the police to remove him.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

He's gone home. Probably got too cold in the front room. And the catering is rubbish. And the Boy was scared that his little brothers would be taken into care if he said anything.

Did much swotting up on my German from many years ago. Upshot is that whilst his father says the Boy is not allowed to speak to him or be in the same room as him, I have said that I will report it if he beats the Boy again.

His Mum said 'but he gets so angry, I can't stop him when he attacks...' I went to say that I know boys can be hard work and one of my exes had ADD, so I know they can be explosive, but she interrupted 'Oh no - I don't mean him, he's never hit anyone - I mean his father!'

I have limited contact with my family, what's left of it. It's a horrible feeling to be totally alone. I would never encourage it, as it's a long life to live without roots. Please don't assume I was in any way pleased about the situation.

He is, however, a good lad, has a couple of A* GCSEs, is studying hard (in 5 minute bursts) and determined to manage without medication, as he can't stand 'being stupid' which is how he feels when he is medicated. He also (for the time being at least) thinks alcohol is revolting and smoking drugs even more so, possibly because he spent so many years in a bit of a haze. Which is fortunate, as DD1 says these would be dealbreakers for her, even after a year going out with him.

If they were to split up, I wouldn't have dumped him, but this was one of the reasons I hoped that he sorted out alternative arrangements quite quickly.

I'm hoping that he now doesn't have to worry about finding somewhere to live until the expected time - when he goes to university.