What are your thoughts on this?

BARGAINHUNTER!

An ex b/f who I am still on speaking terms with (odd phone call, text, email etc) sent me a message via Facebook to say that he had received an abusive threatening email. I asked him who it was from and what it said and he replied via Facebook with the following:

Re: email

how about this then ............. sent from an anonymous account

"I know who you are, I know you are still in contact with her and want her back. You know who I mean... your ex girlfriend from XXXXXXXX who lives closer to me than you!

Leave her alone....she does not want you and has not for the last year. She thinks you are vile, a pr*ck and a pathetic excuse for a human being. Cant you get anything into your thick little skull ?

So it stops now or I tell. I will tell everything to her family and friends that you have ever sent by mail or by text.......it wont be hard to do ! I have all the evidence I need.

Tell her I've emailed you and the situation will be worse FOR YOU not me.

You have been warned........... "

I was naturally horrified by this, as this refers to me, and I have asked him via Facebook if it came through via email to his hotmail account or via Facebook and suggested he contacts the police but he has not responded.

I have spent a couple of hours pondering this email, and I cannot for the life of me think who sent it, or indeed why. My ex has posted a few things on my Facebook page, but always lighthearted and never suggestive in any way. Now - the thing that is really starting to worry me is the possibility that my ex has made this up and wants me to think that he has received this email.

How on earth do I handle this, considering that I know that he is having a tough time at the moment emotionally?

foxy-roxy

Hi, did he forward the email to you so you could see who originally sent it, or was it copied and pasted, or just looked like he had typed it up?

Paparika

Could it be another ex of either of you who didn't like that you still contacted each other?

BARGAINHUNTER!

He sent it to me via my in box in Facebook copied and pasted - not forwarded. if it had come to him via Facebook he would have had to have copied and pasted it to me as you cannot forward messages via Facebook. Thats why I asked him how he got it - if he had got it in his hotmail account it would have been easier for him to forward it to me to my hotmail account and there would have been no reason for him to cut and paste it from a hotmail email into my Facebook inbox if you see what I mean. The language in the email is a bit bizarre - the swear word that is starred out above actually was starred out in the message to - can't imagine why someone would do that? And the ................ that are in the email is something that my ex used to do a lot in emails to string sentances together. It is only this fact and also the fact that he is a bit emotionally fragile at the moment that makes me think it is him.

BARGAINHUNTER!

Paparika wrote: »

Could it be another ex of either of you who didn't like that you still contacted each other?

Yes, I have thought of that. but don't actually have that many ex's and doubt very very very much it would be one of them! as for his - well - I can't really comment on that one unfortunately.

KiKi

I wouldn't rise to it, and I wouldn't do anything which might appear inflammatory, or give him cause to think that you like him again. It's possible he's trying to test you, to see if you have a new boyfriend, or to see if you would defend him. It sounds to me like he wants you to say "you're not vile, I'd never think that!" It's possible he's seeking reassurance.

If it is him, don't give him any cause to react or respond again, or to think that you are worried, or to think that you might be interested in him again. Don't play the game by responding how he wants to, or he'll persist.

I would write back and simply say "Wow, how strange, sorry to hear you received this. Just ignore it, it's obviously someone playing games. Block their account. Hope you're well. "


Even it is from another ex as suggested above (and it doesn't sound like it), you can't control them. You can't do anything about it. Stay out of it, don't rise to the aggravation and don't appear too kind. I don't mean that harshly, but if it is him, then he's trying to elicit a response that he wants, and that's not very stable behaviour! Be neutral.

Cheers
KiKi

neneromanova

Ask him to give you the email address that it was sent from then you can do some "investigating". You can't hide your email address so if he gives it to you you can search around on google. if he doesn't ask him why not and then your suspicions are warrented. Good Luck *hugs*

KiKi

Sorry, but I wouldn't investigate and get involved.

He's already said it's anonymous. If he does know who it's from, he's not saying, so stay out of it. If he wrote it himself, then he's playing a game - so stay out of it!

Don't play games back by investigating email addresses and testing *him* - because if he is playing a game that just shows him you're interested in what's going on and that's not going to help. Even if it's not him, someone is playing emotional games, and you'd need to be secure enough in yourself to not get involved in it.

JMO, obviously.
KiKi

Marcheline

I immediately thought it was from your ex, rather than from any third party. If I was in your position, I'd save the message in your inbox and tell a friend about it. Then I'd delete him from facebook altogether and put my account on the most restricted privacy settings.

If he tries texting or calling, I'd change my number.

The fact that you think it could be from your ex, means that you think he could be capable of this too. It's attention seeking if you ask me and it could get worse if you don't cut him out. Maybe I'm too harsh though?

gerryscot

Maybe you (due to the fact as it had your personal details within it) could report abuse through facebook administrators and ask them to investigate it?

BARGAINHUNTER!

gerryscot wrote: »

Maybe you (due to the fact as it had your personal details within it) could report abuse through facebook administrators and ask them to investigate it?

I don't know that it came through to him via Facebook - he just sent to to me via Facebook IYSWIM? The only personal details it had about me in it is the bit I have XXXXXXXX out in the op - it referred to the area of the country I live in - ie north, south, east, west (not even more specific than that!)