anyone not drive?

mrcow

You're right - driving is a life skill.

It's worth putting the effort into trying to pass if she can afford it. I understand where she is coming from. I didn't pass my test until I was 22 (mainly because of money or lack of) and it had turned into a bit of a thing by then.

I failed once but had loads of lessons and absolutely hated them - I think if comes down to finding an instructor that you feel comfortable with and one who actually likes their job (there are a fair few useless instructors out there!)

I didn't really learn to drive properly until 'd passed my test and had to get on with it. When you get to that point, an understanding partner is a massive help.

Persoanlly I'd encourage her. her husband is right - he may not always be available to drive himself.

financial_filly

I can't drive although i did take lessons when i was 21 but absolutely hated every second i was in there and felt sick everytime there was a lesson booked . I took my tests (when no theory test was around) 3 times and failed all of them.

But it never really bothered me. I used public transport or taxi's (in the days of being flush with money!!). My hubby can drive and as he works out of town and shifts he would need the car so even if i could drive we cant afford two cars so it isn't really an issue.

The plus side is me and ds + baby get to have a lovely walk to school every day and chat.

It's probably a lack of confidence thats putting your aunty off and she should only do it if she wants to. Being "forced" into it will just make her more tense etc. maybe your uncle could take her to a deserted car park and let her have a go and try and build up her confidence ? ?

red_devil

financial_filly wrote: »

I can't drive although i did take lessons when i was 21 but absolutely hated every second i was in there and felt sick everytime there was a lesson booked . I took my tests (when no theory test was around) 3 times and failed all of them.

But it never really bothered me. I used public transport or taxi's (in the days of being flush with money!!). My hubby can drive and as he works out of town and shifts he would need the car so even if i could drive we cant afford two cars so it isn't really an issue.

The plus side is me and ds + baby get to have a lovely walk to school every day and chat.

It's probably a lack of confidence thats putting your aunty off and she should only do it if she wants to. Being "forced" into it will just make her more tense etc. maybe your uncle could take her to a deserted car park and let her have a go and try and build up her confidence ? ?

would you learn in case hubby ever couldnt!

jackomdj

My Mum does not drive & it can be a real pain at times. My Dad works away a lot & we have had times when they have been visiting us that he has had to drive past us in Swindon all the way down to Cornwall just to collect her & drive back the next day. Then do it again at the end of the visit! She won't do most public transport either.

**confuzzled**

I only passed my test in July:j after several years of intermittent lessons, several insructors and several tests(ok I hold my hands up..it was 9:o)and yes, confidence is a huge factor...but its something that you build up as you become more confident with what you're doing. If I'm honest when I think about driving it scares me $h!tle$$ even now but I know I'm doing the best I can and thats good enough for me:) Also imo having some jerk ram the back of my car is preferable than some jerk mowing me over while I'm walking.

My decision to keep going was that I want kids and there was no way I was going on public transport with a kid/buggy and the weekly shop:eek: It also gives me so much more independance as I hated having to ask for lifts off my DH, the huffing & puffing wasn't worth it lol, and the best reason of all is when Monday morning comes around...no more standing in the freezing cold and rain waiting for a crammed bus that'll take me to work in approx 1hr...I can jump in the car and be at work in 10mins.....yes the bus routes near me are that messed up:rolleyes:
Also saves DH on taxi fare....I can now pick him up when he's had a night out(providing it's not at silly am!)

As for the cost of lessons etc, they are expensive so if she knows anyone patient enough to show her the basics then she'll save on at least 2/3 lessons:) The hardest part is finding an instructor who you can get along with but also won't snap at when they tell you you're doing something wrong:rolleyes:

HTH

Mely

I had soooo many driving lessons, plus a weeks intensive course. I had 3 tests and failed them all but i came close to passing the first time! I have to be honest and say that i hated driving and it scared me. It would have been fantastic to drive really, as we live in a very remote area, but i know that driving is just not for me. I have to make sure that i plan my week in advance so that i can get out, and this has worked for years for me. My dh has always said that i should take lessons again and that he would take me out in the car but there is no way i will do it. Some people just dont feel happy driving, and im one of them unfortunately.

shellsuit

I don't drive.

I started taking lessons in 2006 and passed my theory test with flying colours (finished it that quick that when I stood up to go, they thought I needed the loo lol).

I just couldn't get the hang of gears. Used to drive me mad!

Then I had lessons in my Dad's automatic which was brill, until that died and he got a manual.

Can't afford lessons now and it's a shame because OH has a works van so our car is just sat outside most of the time.

Saying that though, I get awful road rage and I'm just a passenger, so I think it's best that I don't get behind the wheel again :rotfl:

If your Aunty doesnt want to drive, then that is her choice and nobody should try and make her start learning.

If her hubby can't drive in the future for whatever reasons, they can always use public transport!

cactuspotty

Both my parents never learnt to drive despite having six kids. We lived 20 minutes from town so I spent my entire childhood walking everywhere. I've got great calves to show for it now!

flippin36

I hated learning to drive. Very nervous, no confidence at all. It was the amount of money and time I was spending on lessons that made me see it through to the end. Also finding out that my young child had disabilities, made me think lifes going to be hard enough without struggling on public transport. When I eventually passed my test, it took me a while to feel confident to be out on my own, but now....its just like second nature, its become instinctive and I'm so glad that I didn't give up when it got difficult. My OH really supportive, and like your uncle he was concerned if anything happened to him that I would still have my independence.

But I don't think you can't push someone into learning to drive, they have to make their own mind up in order to have that determination. They really need the incentive to make it all worth their while.

lostinrates

jackomdj wrote: »

My Mum does not drive & it can be a real pain at times. My Dad works away a lot & we have had times when they have been visiting us that he has had to drive past us in Swindon all the way down to Cornwall just to collect her & drive back the next day. Then do it again at the end of the visit! She won't do most public transport either.

Only the driving or the pblic transport fear has to be solved. If she is generlly nervous, it seems unwise to force the driving issue, but rather the other one, where if she panics its not risking her life and others! My mother is getting to the point where we are trying to convince her to consider alternatives to driving. it is not an easy issue to force, but increasingly important..sadly .



Most of DH's family don't drive. They have mainly lived in Cities and frequently between international cities, so owning a car wouldn't have really benefited them all. I taught DH to drive.

I see no reason to push the issue with someone. Walking kids to and from schools is pretty good for them, using cars is only going to get more expensive and while it might mean the individual is forced to make comprimises later on, they might not be worse for them than the issue of driving now.