DS about to become a Half brother

Paparika

Thanks all xx

I'm going out this eve for a much long awaited girly night, well an all you can eat restaurant with a chocolate fountain ;D

So i guess a good time to let them know how i feel, sisters together etc.

But will treat DS with something tomorrow, maybe cinema or it not too expensive his choice within reason.

I don't know if its just me, but i feel relief when i was told ex was having another, it meant he was finally settling down, and would then leave me be, he used to be nasty when he was single.

I feel nothing for the soon to be baby, as i don't know and have never met mum, he wants us to meet up and be friends, and I'd rather just get on with my own life, he isn't part of it, i have my life with my OH and ds. But obviously the baby will be part of ds's life and i will and have accepted that. (I think)

We split and it was very violent, it's taken me 10 years to get over that and get back my life, my self respect/esteem etc.

I am wrong just to want to get on with my own life?

Gingham_Ribbon

Paparika wrote: »

We split and it was very violent, it's taken me 10 years to get over that and get back my life, my self respect/esteem etc.

I am wrong just to want to get on with my own life?

Good grief. No, you're certainly not wrong. Violence changes everything. If you're worried about either of the children, don't hesitate to get help. If you need to keep your distance, that's completely understandable.

claireac

I might be able to give a slightly different perspective.

I have 2 ds's aged 18 & 20, and dh has a dd aged 11. Together we have dd aged 3.

Boys are not interested in babies until they're a bit more interesting! They're just not cool! None of the kids were remotely interested when I was preg. Ds2 was concerned when I had all day sickness, but for me not the baby.

That has all changed, pretty much from the moment she was born. All 3 of them dote on her, and she has them wrapped round her little finger.

I think your ds should meet the baby ASAP, otherwise how is he going to feel part of the family? I don't your ex spends enough time with him regardless, and yes babies are hard work, but he needs to face up to his responsibilities to your ds too. I think you're being too nice!

Ds2 was visiting at the hospital a few hours after dd was born, sd came for her normal weekly visit (Fri night to sat night) a couple of days later and ds1 came a couple of weeks later as he was working in France.

I don't like the step / half brother/sister thing either. Ours got told right from the start and dd is their sister - she's not going to know any different.

jackieb

For what it's worth, when I told my 12yo son that I was having a baby he was livid. He threatened to leave and move in with his grandma and granda! He came round though and he actually liked his sister when she was born.

red_devil

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

Why not scrap the 'half' altogether. They're siblings. Does the exact detail matter?

Agree are they half a person. Son has two steps but i never say that word just brothers.

he was 13 as well when they came along. It was no problem at all. Life continued as normal.

claireac

jackieb wrote: »

For what it's worth, when I told my 12yo son that I was having a baby he was livid. He threatened to leave and move in with his grandma and granda! He came round though and he actually liked his sister when she was born.

Yes so was ds2!! I told him on a shopping trip and he flipped and ran back to car park, followed by me in floods of hormonal tears. He was more worried that it was an accident and dh (not married at the time, and not his dad!) would leave lol.

Paparika

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

Good grief. No, you're certainly not wrong. Violence changes everything. If you're worried about either of the children, don't hesitate to get help. If you need to keep your distance, that's completely understandable.

no violence against ds, it was just me, although i caught him slapping ds around the back of the head when he was a toddler and i did go mental at him, he never touched him again.

Paparika

Well i feel a bit better,

OH just rang me, and i told him i am feeling a bit emotional about the baby business, told him how i felt, in relation to the baby and how it brought back memories of the baby me and the ex lost ( i told him about that years ago), said that I'll be ok as I'll be seeing the girls later, he agreed and said when he saw me later he would give me a hug awww what a sweetie.

patchwork_cat

Sorry not advice, but a personal bugbear he is about to become a half brother not step. Half brothers share half their genetics - not relevant just personal. I have steps and halfs.

Paparika

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Sorry not advice, but a personal bugbear he is about to become a half brother not step. Half brothers share half their genetics - not relevant just personal. I have steps and halfs.

no worries its been said a few times on this thread, i just can't change the title
nvm i just found the advanced settings