Burying my head in the sand

bazwod

Hey all.

I know I'm going to get a torrent of abuse in return but am so desperate but also just putting myself in a worse situation with each day.

As every day goes by I just spend more and more, knowing that I have so little money that I am never going to get any better so spend more. It's just a vicious circle. And the less money I have the more I seem to spend. I know it's ridiculous.

This month I have £132.19 to spend on petrol, food, going out etc etc.

I have got so many blo0dy loans to consolidate my previous debts and then it gets worse and worse and worse all over again. I just don't know how it will change!!

And my parents have loads of money. Literally loads. And whilst they are generous at Christmas, birthdays, whenever I see my mum then we'll go shopping (but we don't get to see each other often because we live in different countries...) but I find it really hard to handle. The fact that I struggle so much and they have several houses and live a life of complete luxury makes me so jealous. It's awful for me to admit it and I love them so much. They deserve the life because they work so hard for it. I apologise for being so self-indulgent.

I don't really want to publish an SOA because there's nothing on there that I think needs changing particularly. I just don't know how to spend less.... there always seems to be something.....

So sorry all to moan..........

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi! I also have a close family member who has loads of money and yeah I feel jealous too sometimes.You really do need to stop right now though and take a serious look at your finances. I spent so many years thinking one day everything would magically change and I would somehow be rich and debt free. Believe me this wont happen without you putting in a massive amount of effort. Borrowing more and more money to consolidate debts is not a good idea, I wouldnt suggest asking your parents for help either, unless you are prepared to change. I dont want to sound harsh but I have learned the hard way - debt is very very easy to get into and very very hard to get out of.There is loads of great advice on this website, I would start a spending diary too, writing your spends down in black and white makes it all a bit more real.Good luck with it.

katsu

Don't worry about a torrent of abuse - most people here are nice and well meaning. Some will give you feedback that is uncomfortable to take, but that is about showing you consequences and concern, not abusing you.

You can't control what your parents do with their money, only what you do.

You've taken the step of posting here, why not consider taking some next steps... Getting an SoA together, looking at options to clear your debts (seem to be DMP, IVA or bankrupcy if you are unable to make your payments), basically how can you change your situation so it doesn't make you feel unhappy.

Good luck.

tiny_courageous

A moan does you good sometimes! You won't get abuse here (unless the trolls are out but they usually get squished fairly quickly) but you will get brutal honesty.

If you're spending more than you earn, then your SOA does need changing. Either that or you need to earn more, because, as you've recognised, this situation can't go on.
Do your parents actually know the situation you're in? It's not about asking for a hand out but saying to them 'I love seeing you but can't afford to be going out shopping every time we meet up'.
You really need to think about what you want to do. You know that something has to change, it's up to you to decide what direction that change is going to take you in.
Good luck, and please don't worry about asking for help or baring your soul on here, because we've all been there.

bazwod

Thanks for the replies peeps. I know you're right, it's very easy to get into debt and terrible to get out.

I'm not yet at the stage where I can't afford my repayments, I can pay them but just have so little left over to do stuff that I want that I end up spending more on the credit card. . . .

As for going shopping with my family, I should have explained, when I go shopping I don't actually pay for anything - so I should get my shopping fix!! But I don't. I know I sound so self-indulgent and spoilt but I just get so anxious if I can't spend and go shopping.

I'll post my SOA once I can work it out.... I am just fed up, it's not like I don't want to work to earn more money but there's no overtime where I work. I'm down to do a nail course in January, that's my Christmas present, and hopefully that will allow me to earn some extra money but it won't be until the middle of next year that I can actually charge people..... Arrrgh! It all feels so hopeless and that it will never get any better so I may as well make it worse.

cb_999

Hi Baz, I just want to add that there are loads of people on here that can afford their minimum repayments, and there are also loads that can't. But we all have recognised that life (spending) can not go on as it did without consequences. Once you get your soa up and have a look at the snowball debt calculator you'll know exactly what you are dealing with. This will allow you to formulate a plan to beat the debt. You might have a mountain to climb, or maybe just a small hill but at least you'll know and that's definitely the first step. Good luck!

gaz_jones

Surely gotta be a troll post?

If it's not then I would sugget just trying to cut out bits of money here and there. For instance, if you buy Tesco's finest yorkshire puddings, buy the Tesco's own brand ones. You will only save £1, but a £1 is a £1.

Perhaps try driving less to save on the petrol bill. If that's not an option then try driving more economically? You'll be amazed at how much you can save by doing that.

Tixy

Welcome bazwood.
Not going to give you a torrent of abuse but you say you are affording your repayments - do you have any credit cards and is this the minimum repayments you can afford? If so then just paying these will not get you out of debt. You need to be paying as much as you can afford.

I do understand you don't think there is anything that you need to cut back on but imagine if you do and people tell you you can save say £20pm on broadband & telephone, £30 on mobiles and £20 on insurance all without affecting the service/cover you get. Suddenly you have an extra £70 to spend or repay off your debts each month.

You are right that things won't get better unless you start to take action but things can certainly get a whole lot worse if you don't. You know you are nearly at the problem stage, best to tackle it before you hit debt crisis than after, as its much harder then.

Good luck

bazwod

It's not a troll post gaz. Thanks for the vote of confidence! Why would it be? I am being completely honest and saying that I know it's just going to get worse and worse and that I need to stop spending but just don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't buy Tesco's finest anything! I'm an asda girl.

bazwod

This seems to make everything look okay. I don't understand how though! I don't set any money aside for petrol/hair/entertainment/food etc etc (anything that's not a DD or SO) and I only have £132.19 left to spend until payday (15/12/09). I must have done something wrong.....

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1871.43
Partners monthly income after tax....... 650
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 550
Total monthly income.................... 3071.43

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 1262
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 107.5
Electricity............................. 22
Gas..................................... 40
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 23.65
Telephone (land line)................... 19
Mobile phone............................ 35
TV Licence.............................. 9.5
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 44
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 200
Clothing................................ 200
Petrol/diesel........................... 100
Road tax................................ 10
Car Insurance........................... 19.98
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 15
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 8.46
Buildings insurance..................... 26.27
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 11.42
Other insurance......................... 13.14
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 40
Haircuts................................ 40
Entertainment........................... 100
Holiday................................. 50
Emergency fund.......................... 40
Emergency call out (for both house)..... 54
Total monthly expenses.................. 2490.92


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 210000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 400
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 210400


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 200000...(1262).....0
Total secured & HP debts...... 200000....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Zopa...........................6865.56...185.5.....9
Virgin Credit Card.............2123.22...25........1.57
Sainsbury's Loan...............5000......99.42.....0
Bank of Mum & Dad..............11000.....100.......0
A&L OD.........................968.......0.........0
Total unsecured debts..........25956.78..409.92....-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,071.43
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,490.92
Available for debt repayments........... 580.51
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 409.92
Amount left after debt repayments....... 170.59

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 210,400
Total HP & Secured debt................. -200,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -25,956.78
Net Assets.............................. -15,556.78

LeeSouthEast

You spend £2,400 on clothes a year? You sure about that?