hello newbie so be gentle

meganstaff

Hi everyone, finally plucked up the courage to post on here, here goes.
I have been off work on and off for the last 5 yrs, last sick started in Sept, Ive had four ops in that time and sadly lost my 19yr old son on christmas eve last yr. Im currently off with depression and waiting more tests re futher surgery on my arms, whilst ive been off i have been on nil pay and recieving ssp.
Ive got myself in a real mess this last yr financially and have a large about of debts, recently had a meeting with a benfits advisor who has refered me to CAB on 24th Nov to help sort these problems out. I am considering bankruptcy.
My problems are
1. I was discharged from bankruptcy in 1998 following my divorce and left with 4 young children so i had no option.would this stop me from going bankrupt again and how would OR react to my circumstances, I know debts are my problem but i could not foresee the hell ive been in the last yr.
2. I renewed my loan with FLM in June to pay for my sons headstone with all intentions of remainig in work, but depression overruled this along with ill health, this loan was signed for by a friend who went as guarantor, where do i stand with this as this is the one thats worrying me most, i dont want to let my frien down or get her in any bother.
3. Work are pushing me for a return to work date but my doctor is refusing to allow me to return as he considers im not well enough, but occ health in work say i wont be entitled to medical retirement, im a civil servant.
4. Where do i start, do i phone court to make appointment for bankruptcy before CAB meeting as i know there is a waiting list.
5. Im dreading christmas and my sons 21st on 28th december.
Im in a really mess and sometimes think my other kids would be better with out me, , i feel im letting them down. any advise would be grateful.
thanks
meganstaff

curly04

I can't help you I'm sorry
but here is a *BIG HUG*
I know what depression and its not nice.
Heres another * BIG HUG *
Good Luck

curly04

OH and you kids are not better off with out you, and they love you, you just don't see it at the moment.
*BIG HUG*

maxmycardagain

1. I was discharged from bankruptcy in 1998 following my divorce and left with 4 young children so i had no option.would this stop me from going bankrupt again and how would OR react to my circumstances, I know debts are my problem but i could not foresee the hell ive been in the last yr.

Not at all, 10 years is a long time, but the OR would want to see if you had been "reckless"


2. I renewed my loan with FLM in June to pay for my sons headstone with all intentions of remainig in work, but depression overruled this along with ill health, this loan was signed for by a friend who went as guarantor, where do i stand with this as this is the one thats worrying me most, i dont want to let my frien down or get her in any bother.

If she is the guarantor, she will be liable to pay if you go bankrupt, any private arrangement between you to pay the sum is your business

3. Work are pushing me for a return to work date but my doctor is refusing to allow me to return as he considers im not well enough, but occ health in work say i wont be entitled to medical retirement, im a civil servant.

Can you contact ACAS or your union?

4. Where do i start, do i phone court to make appointment for bankruptcy before CAB meeting as i know there is a waiting list.

If you have an appointment already then you have taken the first steps, if there is a waiting list, get on it, the court will advise you


5. Im dreading christmas and my sons 21st on 28th december.

Hes a big boy, im sure he doesnt want mum to suffer, explain it to him, you may find he is aware of the situation anyway, offer to buy him a drink down the pub. I explained to all our kids, worse things happen at sea....

maybe post a SOA here, and you can start completing your forms online at teh insolvency website.

meganstaff

Thanks for the suport, sorry should have been clearer, im dreading christmas because my son died on christmas eve, and it is his birthday on the 28th december, he would have been 21. wish i could take him to the pub tho x

paul01609

sorry about your son,stick in there m8 thinks will get better with time

crowman19

I can only imagine the heartbreak that life has dealt you at the moment but please stick in their, while it may not seem it at the moment there is light at the end of the tunnel.

This is definatley the right place for advice and maybe more importantly at the moment support.

You've already had some good advice above and will get all your questions answered between here and the CAB so don't stop posting.

meganstaff

thanks for the support, its hard going atm doing this on my own with no support, im a single mum with 3 kids 22 18 and 14who have had a tough yr as well and dont know how bad things are, with no other close family, bankruptcy is my only option, I looked into bro options but understand that as i have a pension available when i retire that i cant do this. I just cant see any light at the end of it all atm sorry, i dont know where to start, i suffering sdepression atm and just hope i can pick up the courage to go to the CAB meeting next week, i did explain this to her when she rung and she was very understanding, i know i have to make myself go, but find it hard going out atm. sorry for rambling my heads a mess

crowman19

Definately get yourself to the CAB meeting next week no matter what, I can assure you that you will come out of it in a better state of mind about your finances.

While I imagine it can't be easy just try to focus on your 3 kids who love you to give you the strength you need.

The CAB meeting is nothing to be afraid of they are there to help you.

louiser123

i cant help at all much except to say, you will get everything sorted even though it may not seem that way at the moment. you are the most important person in your kids lives not money, so please dont think they would be better without you they wouldnt. my good wishes are with you and you will get some really good support on here as well advice. keep posting

am i right though in thinking that pensions are no longer classed as an assest in bankruptcy? i know when we went bankrupt in 2001 we were told that the law had changed and my hubbys pensions were not counted at all. sure someone will know the answer to this who is more clued up as it is a long time since 2001!

crowman19

I think it only stakeholder pensions that are not included.