Am I being over sensititve?

never_enough

trixietoes wrote: »

I've just sent a mail to my friends and family saying that this year we won't be sending Christmas cards I wil lbe donating to charity instead (I am thinking of contacting the local orphanage and asking if they will accept some stocking filler presents for the kids if they can give me the sex and age ranges of the children). I have asked people not to send us any either to save trees and their money.
I have had 1 cousin asking if I was 'taking the ps?'
Am I being a scrooge or miserable by not sending friends and family cards? If I am please say and I'll retract the mail. It's upset me a bit.

Ignore them, it's your decision & one that I'm sure most people would respect. If they don't it's still your decision! Very few people I know send cards anymore, for various reasons, but generally environmental rather than cost. I have noticed a shift over the last few years of donating money to charities rather than buying cards or presents & it's one that I hope continues. Cards are a product of a different age & are just not necessary nowadays when you can keep in touch so easily by e-mail or phone. I do send a few to the real oldsters in the family but certainly wouldn't send them to people that I'm going to be seeing over the holiday. I always buy charity ones, but even with most of those the charity actually only get a couple of pence.

elisebutt65

I only send cards to close family now - mum and Dad and Gran. The rest get E-cards now. At work I give one and make it out to everyone I work with, as I hate all this giving cards to every single person as when I get them back I just recycle them.

My son does a paper round and he gives out a card to every one of his customers - this is purely from a business perspective though as it acts a reminder to them to tip him:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: He made £200 last year:eek:

trixietoes

mrcow wrote: »

I did think that.

OP is this a UK orphanage that you are going to be buying toys for?

OK OK apologies for my terminology... I am not as PC as I should be. The Local Authority Care home - is that correct? If not can someone please tell what I should be saying.

I am sorry for using the term Orphanage, any offence caused most certainly wasn't intentional.

Thank you to all of you. I appreciate the time you have taken to reply - Apart from the person who made the 1914 comment.

I live in Poland and going back home to England for Christmas... I hadn't thought about donating here... maybe I should as they have far less cash than the UK.

With regards to the older people that may have not other contact with people... In my case I don't have any there is no-one who will be in that situation. I agree with MrCrow though, I'd hate to think of anyone I cared about being so lonely.

In my case these they have lots of people around them, are not short of a bob or two. They all still get a text on Christmas day, most get presents and all will all get a Christmas greeting mail also.

melancholly

i'm happy to send cards with letters to a small group of people, but i don't see the point in sending 200 cards to people i don't contact at any other time of year. obviously elderly relatives/people who are alone like to be thought of at this time of year, but a nice long phone call to catch up can be just as good. or just send a handful of cards.

anyone who thinks less of you for doing this isn't worth worrying about! if the only way you show to someone that they matter is a bit of card once a year, that's a rather hollow gesture.

one of my friends sent out an email saying she was doing this last year and the reactions i heard were ones of relief! one less person to have to pay for a card for!

Morglin

Send charity cards - that way you keep people happy and help charities.

Lin

patchwork_cat

valk_scot wrote: »

I usually write one of these cheesy newsletter emails with a precis of our news from the last year and half a dozen pictures. Then all I have to do is write a personal paragraph or two to each person or family as a header, then attache the yearly newsletter and press "send" on the email program. In fact this amounts to quite a bit more personal attention than writing "Merry Chritmas from V,D, D &M" on box after box of cards.

I do send cards to folk without email that I don't see much. I call all the old relatives (there's not many) on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Usually amounts to five phone calls, ten cards and about fifty or sixty emails. Takes a little more time of course but costs a lot less. It's what...30p for a first second class stamp, plus 20p for a card? That's £25 for fifty cards for something that will mostly get chucked into the rubbish. If I wrote 150 cards like one poster I'd spend £75.:eek:

Oh you don't do you, a round robin! My step brother used to do this and it was awful. Infact one january years ago there was an article in one of the broadsheets taking the mick out of this practice and their round robin was quoted! Funny they haven't done one since!

Do I really want to know that last August they went to Rick Stein's restaurant in Padstow, no. If I did I would have known in August wouldn't I?

minimacka

Hi

I never send anyone any cards anymore i havent since my fil/grandma/grandad died of cancer a few years ago, the help and care that the local hospice gave was second to non so now i donate some money to my local hospice. I would rather everyone in my family did this rather than send me cards that although are nice get thrown away after christmas.

I suppose its a personal thing though.

I would also like my family to buy me a £1 gift voucher for boots/m&s etc instead of a 99p birthday card that gets thrown in the bin but unfortunately despite asking them many times over they dont do it. :rolleyes: I would not be offended if someone asked me to do this.

xx

Primrose

I think the recession has made people more thoughtful about the way they spend their money and I think it's admirable that you want to help those who need it most. And I think Mrcow is being rather insensitive about cost, because as we all know, it isn't the cost of the cards which is the issue, it's the huge cost of postage now if you send out a lot of cards. You are certainly not being a Scrooge, and with so many people on e-mail now, a friendly personal e-mail letter is far more environmentally friendly than a card which only gets tossed away anyway (and caused a tree to be felled somewhere along the line). We'll be cutting down on cards this year. Those on e-mail will get a letter, and only those who are not, who are mostly the elderly, will get a card.

bestpud

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Oh you don't do you, a round robin! My step brother used to do this and it was awful. Infact one january years ago there was an article in one of the broadsheets taking the mick out of this practice and their round robin was quoted! Funny they haven't done one since!

Do I really want to know that last August they went to Rick Stein's restaurant in Padstow, no. If I did I would have known in August wouldn't I?

I have to say it does sound cringeworthy!

OP - have you considered he was asking in case it was a joke?

Tbh, that sounds like something my family would send if they received an email like that and thought, 'hmm, that's ok, but are they serious, or have I missed a joke, because I don't want to look a prat by crossing them off my card list if they are joking'.

Buut, if he is that offended, send him an e-card, or just stick to your guns and he'll get used to it.

FWIW, I think cards can be personal and appreciated, but that tends to be ones with a personal message, and/or chosen for the recipient.

Writing 'love from bestpud and family' in a load of cards and sending one to everyone I have the vaguest of contact with means absolutely nothing to me, and I fail to see what it means to them.

red_devil

i would find it miserable not to get any cards.

Cards are not expensive these days.

You have to do whats in your heart though!