Am I being over sensititve?

fernliebee

My mum makes a personal e-card, photoshopped with pics of our family on and sends these. The money she would have spent on cards (approx £30-£40) she donates to a different charity of choice each year. It is usually a charity with meaning, for example a friends young son had cancer last year so it was sent to a young persons cancer charity etc. The year before, my SIL, who is african, had my nephew so she bought a 'midwife package' for a village in Africa etc.

She has been doing this for about 7 years now and everyone has received it positively, I can't understand the mindset of someone that would begrudge it tbh!

She also cuts up any cards she receives and uses them for the next years gift tags!

Personally I send a few cards to people who I don't see much like DH family, and a couple of old friends who don't have e-mail etc, I send an e-card to most people and I do the shoebox appeal. I used to make my cards every year until the last couple of years and I really don't have much time to hand make them now, so I buy cheap but nice ones usually the year before in Jan sales.

financial_filly

Good for you..only wish i could get away with it...sadly my dh side of the family would be mortified if they didnt get a nice "special bro & sis in law / sis & bro in law" card not only that and please beleive me it is what happens and has done for 9 years...we have to send one to each niece and nephew (4 in total) and then the kids have to send an aunty & uncle card to both bro & sis and then cousin cards (total 2 as its joint card). So in total we have to send to both brother & sister 5 cards each..its absolutely ridiculous and a complete waste of money. However mil thinks that if we dont send cards (we all live in the same town!) then it means we dont care / its not xmas without cards blah blah.

Had enough..i think this year is going to be the last year, next year will let kids make one for them and donate the rest of the money to our local hospice.

You are bound to get people who grumble but i think giving to those less well off than ourselves is more of a xmas message than queuing up in Card Factory for an hour with a load of cards to give out just because "its tradition".

phew! ;-)

Zazen999

I'd email the cousin back and ask what's the problem?

I stopped sending cards donkey's years ago.

yaubelle

I think your idea is a lovely one and completely makes sense.

I have never understood the point of sending Christmas cards unless it has a personal message included inside.

I get so many cards from people/family I hardly know. I have never understood the point of sending a card that says "to...." and then "from.......". What is the point of that?

I get cards from my husband's extended family, people he himself has never met and all that we get in the card is "to...." and then their name at the end. For me its a complete waste of paper/trees and cost of postage.

So far better to spend your money getting little stocking fillers which will hopefully be very much appreciated.

Butterfly_Brain

I think that if you want to do this Good on you.
People can be so selfish and if they feel that you are insulting them they should jolly well be ashamed of themselves Christmas is about Giving not Taking
You have the true spirit of Christmas
God Bless x

BlouseyBrown_2

Why resurrect this thread from 1914? Oh it was posted today.........what orphanages?

notsayingaword

I don't see a problem with this and don't see why your family should either. Personally I don't send cards at Xmas as I don't see the point. In fact I don't really even like to receive them or have them in the house cluttering up the place. I try and get rid as soon as I can - sometimes they don't even get put up and just stay in the envelope somewhere until they are recycled!

However I still have to buy a couple of boxes for my kids school friends and then have to write them! Birthday cards are different though as they are more individual and have more meaning.

Ruby_Moon

Cards are an absolute waste of money, a waste of resources and mean nothing.
If you want to give someone something to let you know you are thinking of them as a special token then its better to make something, even a card.
Noone thinks you are awful if you don't send a Christmas card.
I never send them and tell everyone that we don't want them either.
The crazy practice some parents go through of writing cards for every kid in the class is just daft too!

mrcow

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

Cards are an absolute waste of money, a waste of resources and mean nothing.
If you want to give someone something to let you know you are thinking of them as a special token then its better to make something, even a card.
Noone thinks you are awful if you don't send a Christmas card.
I never send them and tell everyone that we don't want them either.
The crazy practice some parents go through of writing cards for every kid in the class is just daft too!

I completely disagree. To many people, cards mean an awful lot. I gave an elderly neighbour a card last year and when I popped round to see her just before Christmas noticed it perched in prominence on her mantlepiece along with the five (yes, five) other cards she had received that year. She was really pleased to have been remembered.

She's not the only one - my Gran (bless her heart) used to cherish me coming round to put up her cards at Christmas so she could see them all.

Don't assume that just because you don't put any noteworthiness on a particular token of thought that others feel the same.

No one may think you are "awful" for not sending them a card - but some will remember that you forgot about them (even if they are too polite to say it).

mrcow

BlouseyBrown wrote: »

Why resurrect this thread from 1914? Oh it was posted today.........what orphanages?

I did think that.

OP is this a UK orphanage that you are going to be buying toys for?