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Am I being over sensititve?

245

Comments

  • Dobie
    Dobie Posts: 580 Forumite
    trixietoes wrote: »
    I've just sent a mail to my friends and family saying that this year we won't be sending Christmas cards I wil lbe donating to charity instead (I am thinking of contacting the local orphanage and asking if they will accept some stocking filler presents for the kids if they can give me the sex and age ranges of the children). I have asked people not to send us any either to save trees and their money.

    I have had 1 cousin asking if I was 'taking the ps?'

    Am I being a scrooge or miserable by not sending friends and family cards? If I am please say and I'll retract the mail. It's upset me a bit.

    You're absolutely NOT being a scrooge.

    I've done this for the past couple of years because it makes sense from an environmental point of view as well as the charity aspect.

    I don't think it's a case of not thinking of them, or putting charity before your loved ones. Mass produced cards are simply a way of the manufacturers & retailers making money.

    If you feel bad about it (& you really shouldn't) why not make home made cards for those that are offended. A much more personal way to wish someone a Happy Christmas.
  • Bunny200
    Bunny200 Posts: 627 Forumite
    edited 16 November 2009 at 7:49PM
    Definatly not out of order. If you were doing it because you didn't want to spend the money then maybe (but then what you choose to spend YOUR money on is YOUR business) but the fact that you want to donate the money you would be spending to charity is admirable. Lets face it, are we really bothered who we get cards from? I certainly don't keep track of who send one and who didn't, if I hadn't recieved one I doubt it would register and if it did I wouldn't be upset about it.

    As Dobie says.................
    you feel bad about it (& you really shouldn't) why not make home made cards for those that are offended. A much more personal way to wish someone a Happy Christmas.

    A compromise, esp if you can reuse the elements for the cards.




    Theres too much consumerism in modern life (see financial crisis for more info!) and although I am not religious I use xmas as a time to think about whats important to me and who I care about. Your actions demonstrate the same. Good on you!

    ETA - although I do use last years xmas cards to make this years gift tags.... maybe I'm the scrooge!!
  • Bitsy_Beans
    Bitsy_Beans Posts: 9,640 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I for one am gutted when people don't send cards.....I mean what am I supposed to cut up and use for gift tags for next year ;)

    So not all Christmas cards are binned......some actually get recycled either in the recycling bin or on other ways.
    I have a gift for enraging people, but if I ever bore you it'll be with a knife :D Louise Brooks
    All will be well in the end. If it's not well, it's not the end.
    Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars
  • valk_scot
    valk_scot Posts: 5,290 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I usually write one of these cheesy newsletter emails with a precis of our news from the last year and half a dozen pictures. Then all I have to do is write a personal paragraph or two to each person or family as a header, then attache the yearly newsletter and press "send" on the email program. In fact this amounts to quite a bit more personal attention than writing "Merry Chritmas from V,D, D &M" on box after box of cards.

    I do send cards to folk without email that I don't see much. I call all the old relatives (there's not many) on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Usually amounts to five phone calls, ten cards and about fifty or sixty emails. Takes a little more time of course but costs a lot less. It's what...30p for a first second class stamp, plus 20p for a card? That's £25 for fifty cards for something that will mostly get chucked into the rubbish. If I wrote 150 cards like one poster I'd spend £75.:eek:
    Val.
  • I send charity cards, so donate that way :D The older members of my family don't want or need gifts, so some of us exchange charity gifts, such as Oxfam unwrapped (imagine the joy for my of children buying condoms for nana :rotfl: ).

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    :rudolf: Sheep, pigs, hens and bees on our Teesdale smallholding :rudolf:
  • ceridwen
    ceridwen Posts: 11,547 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 16 November 2009 at 8:15PM
    ..and the thing I most object to is spending MY money on sending Xmas cards to work colleagues:mad:. In my workplace its the norm to spend all sortsa money on Christmas - and frankly I think its incredibly hypocritical to do this, considering that the rest of the year there is an awful lot of "kniving each other in the back". If I am friends with a colleague on a personal level - then I'd send them a card anyway. If - as is more likely than not - that I am not - then I am not exactly feeling happy at sending them one because they have sent me one, etc, anyway:cool:

    There is more reason to send cards to friends - as one is acknowledging by doing so that they and/or you are too "tied up" with stuff like "holding down a j*b" to bother with more important things - like keeping up relationships with those that "matter" - but its a sorta acknowledgement that we DO recognise that they come first in a more "appropriate" scale of priorities.
  • jennihen
    jennihen Posts: 6,500 Forumite
    trixietoes wrote: »
    I've just sent a mail to my friends and family saying that this year we won't be sending Christmas cards I wil lbe donating to charity instead (I am thinking of contacting the local orphanage and asking if they will accept some stocking filler presents for the kids if they can give me the sex and age ranges of the children). I have asked people not to send us any either to save trees and their money.

    I have had 1 cousin asking if I was 'taking the ps?'

    Am I being a scrooge or miserable by not sending friends and family cards? If I am please say and I'll retract the mail. It's upset me a bit.

    Take a really nice picture of the children at the orphange and email to everyone!! Include a festive message and thank everyone for respecting your wishes!
    I think its lovely. I don't send cards and I will be emailing everyone to wish them a 'green and real Christmas':j
    One life.
  • I think it's a really lovely gesture you're making - just shows how much we've been sold on the idea of 'having' to send Christmas cards!

    Stick to your guns - as you say why shouldn't you spread the wealth?

    I wouldn't be remotely bothered if a cousin did this - actually I wouldn't be bothered if my immediate family did it.
  • SUESMITH_2
    SUESMITH_2 Posts: 2,093 Forumite
    we do that at work but i still send to family and friends
    'We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time
  • gill_81uk
    gill_81uk Posts: 2,851 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Name Dropper
    I had a cousin who did this last year....unfortunately she didn't let us know until December when most people had already written, if not sent, her cards. She said ecards instead which came with a virus and caused a few problems on some family members PCs.....and then at Easter she bought and posted Easter cards to everyone!!! Caused much hilarity within the family.

    From your cousin's point of view Trixietoes, some people may have already done cards for you. (I know it's hideously early but I work in a shop and have been amazed at how many customers have told me they've written their cards!) And he/she may be wondering why you can't just buy a cheap box of 50 for £1 so that you can still show your family that you're thinking of them and donate the rest to charity.

    I'm not saying I agree with this, just saying some of the things that were said about my cousin last year. (Although my cousin is well known for her fads which I don't get the impression you are)
    Mummy to Thomas born April 27th 2010 8lb 5oz
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