Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

Ann_Ti

Totally agree that pointless swopping of useless gifts should not be encouraged. I love Christmas day but hate the run up to it for this reason...the headache of trying to find things that people actually want ot need. The most fun our fairly big family has had at Christmas ..is during difficult times we have agreed when buying presents for adults... stick to a really low price say £2.50 ...max £5 ....and presents MUST come from a Charity shop or car boot sale. This way everyone's a winner! It it surprsing how ingenious people become tho' it does actually involve more thought. Also people enjoy bragging about how little they spent...if you can spot a real bargain for 50p go for it :-)

System

My family & friends all post lists on Facebook (or on the fridge for non-facebook users ) of things we actually want to buy/need. These may be specific items which require no picking (e.g. red cotton socks, pink nail varnish) or more general items (e.g. just 'socks' or 'body spray') so the buyer can pick out something. This way nobody feels they've 'wasted' money because the person will receive something they actually will use!

It's nice to have something to open on Christmas day, even if it's just a little thing I was meaning to buy anyway.

In an ideal world I wish there was no obligation to buy presents, but at the end of the day I'd feel guilty even sending that 'no present pact' to anyone, for I fear it make make me seem like scrooge.

Spencerx

I have set myself a target that Christmas has to be paid for by the end of December. One year when my children were younger we were quite short of money so I informed some family members that I wouldn't be buying present and I set my 2 children a limit of £30 each which had to be spent in a mail order catalogue. We survived, they had something they wanted and there was no stress about affordability. One member of the family I think felt sorry for us and bought us some biscuits and chocolates and in later years we have recipricated as we have been able to afford it. At present I can afford a lot more but we have never gone back to buying for everyone and it still has to be paid for by the end of December. Christmas should not be about how much you can spend.

ninky_2

eco wrote: »

my ex also thought we should spend about £300 on each other, when I tried explaining why I thought we shouldn't we should spend it on something for the house, he thought it was because I didn't love him, .

there is a theory that suggests there are five languages of love and we all have a more dominant one that is often created due to environmental factors such as how our parents expressed love in childhood. some people have gift giving as their dominant love language. this is probably quite deep seated. by giving children big and expensive christmas presents this is likely to encourage gift giving to be their dominant love language in the future.

http://www.ehow.co.uk/how_4564663_someone-feel-loved.html?cr=1

dfh

Well-looks like a liberal left wing conspiracy to ban Christmas to keep the PC Brigade happy.Of course,Christmas should not be banned just to appease other faiths.Shame on Martin and others on this website that are advocating a ban on Christmas.

InDebted2U_2

No-one wants to ban Christmas per se, just the meaninglingless consumerism that so many seem to think it now represents.

cake21

ceridwen wrote: »

At one point in their lives they give wedding presents - at another point in their life they receive wedding presents back. But - for those who never get married - then they give, but do not receive back and its a one-sided "transaction".

Re presents being given for children - at their birth or subsequently - its another one-sided "transaction" if the givers never have children of their own.

Agree in principle... I'm not married and can't see it happening (or kids) but I love buying things for my niece - quite often things that aren't really for her but to make her parents life easier if you see what I mean?

melbury wrote: »

Can't the shops be persuaded not to put out any Christmas goods until 1st December? Who wants to start eating mince pies in mid-November?

I *love* mince pies and buy them all year round if I see them

suedeapple

For the past 7 years my other half and I have given up buying each other presents, prior to this we set a limit of £5.00 and had immense fun trying to be as inventive as possible and providing the most amount of entertainment as possible, but after we possibly reached rock bottom with the cheapo gifts we decided what was the point and agreed not to do it any more. life was so much nicer, then we thought why do we buy everyone else a gift also, so we cut out everyone except for kids, its them who xmas is about after all, on one side of the framily and then finally after one exchange that resulted in screaming phone calls at the early hours of the morning saying how I had taken the wrong bag of gifts and what we had already looked at wasnt for us, even though it was written everywhere for us, I decided enough was enough. I did a letter to those concerned, pointed out the stuff we never use, and had no use for and how we were trying to declutter the house, suggested charities to give things to if people really wanted to give gifts and said our gift to them was the time and the money they would have spent on us.
then we stood back and waited for the flack
and it came
in heaps
but we stood firm and resolute and now we are never skint in the new year, or even any point in the year, we are not paying off huge xmas credit cards, or catalogue accounts, life is indeed good.

My advice is put it in writing then the recipient has it to remember not to bother with you again
Kids get a small gift only what we can afford, one family got a sale bargain karaoki set one xmas, it cost a fiver came complete with microphone and they are still using it now, some 4 years later its part of their xmas routine.
Just emphasise throughout

It doesnt mean you dont love them,
It doesnt mean you done enjoy xmas,
nothing wrong with a nice card after all

and the gift of time and credit is truly priceless.

tenuissent

I and my three sisters have between us produced huge numbers of children and grandchildren not to mention close relatives and friends. I have had a a no present pact with most of my friends for many years, and as the various children approached 21 I promoted a no present pact from 22 onwards, and I have always finished off with a special present at 21, best wishes, and explained it would only be Christmas cards from 21 onwards. Some of my sisters occasionally break this pact, which I can live with, but in principle we give to each other, our husbands, and to young people under 21. The other thing that worries me is the fact that our little children receive more plastic bits and pieces than they know what to do with, so I try very hard not to contribute to that pile of rubbish but to get something that will last, like a scooter, or a double blackboard for painting sessions, or a solid wooden table and chairs for eating and playing at. Birthdays are bad enough: one little friend of my younger grandsons had 40 guests to her party meaning 40 little presents to open, and she lost heart after about 10. The rest were pushed aside for later, but for present opening to become a chore is very disheartening to the giver. And a final grumble: when I was little, I and my sisters, and indeed my own 3 children, had particular single toys we and they were very fond of, we invested them with characters, took them on adventures and were generally besotted by them. That age group now have so MANY creatures to "look after" that no single one can be really cared for....

rasb

I agree completely. I used to give gifts to my friends, but as a group we decided to stop giving gifts. Even for my best friend a lot of the time it was difficult to choose an appropriate present. I think he would be better off using the money that he would have used to buy me a present to buy something for himself. Our group of friends now just gets together to eat and celebrate.:beer: You don't need presents to celebrate. Aside from my kids, only 2!:T, I hardly get gifts for anyone, I just send nice photo cards to my friends and family that I don't get to see often, and I get holiday card discounts (from www. bobbysbest.com /Discount-Holiday-Cards-Cheap-Photo-Christmas-Card .html ) on those, but they don't need to know that. even my wife and I have an arrangement not to get each other gifts. Some couples say that but get gifts any 'just to show they care' but I think gift giving can lead to one-upmanship which is never good for a relationship. It's been a while since I gave a gift, and it's working out pretty well so far. The only issue I have is what to do when I recieve one. I have to accept it of course, but the giver might expect one in return.