Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

emuratty · 15 November 2009 at 3:15PM

As my partner and I are both facing redundancy we have agreed with friends and family just to buy small inexpensive gifts for children (socks or a book etc). Every one I suggested this to was very supportive and agreed that children get far too many expensive toys at Christmas that rarely get played with a month later. We will be giving token home-made gifts of chocolates and bath salts to the grown-ups.

My parter and I haven't bought each other gifts since our son was born in 2005, instead we spend the money going for a nice meal and spending some quality time together (which we don't get to do most of the time having 2 small children at home). It costs us less and the time we spend together is far more important.

I bought some chocolate moulds last year and will be using them again this year to make my own tree chocolates, much cheaper than the ready made ones, and loads of fun to make.

My partner was shocked when I suggested replacing our traditional christmas lunch with buffet-style "party" food, but when I explained it meant it would be cheaper and that we'd be able to spend more time playing with the kids instead in the kitchen he came round to the idea.

I already bought my cards, wrapping paper, crackers etc in the January sales.

emuratty · 15 November 2009 at 3:18PM

Oh forgot to mention, we are using our Tesco points to take our 4 year old to the Panto this year.

I was so pleased when I saw this in the Clubcard booklet, we had taken him to see Cinderella in Liverpool last year and he enjoyed it so much he cried when it finished. We were worried we couldn't afford it this year, but Tesco came to my rescue (cost £6 in points for each ticket).

wend33 · 15 November 2009 at 4:33PM

I've not had any presents, Christmas or Birthday, for about 20 years and I don't feel unloved or deprived in any way! I just tend to see Christmas as a time to catch up with people.;)

seven-day-weekend · 15 November 2009 at 5:45PM

We told people thirty years ago when my husband started at University at the age of 29 that we could not afford presents and not to buy us any, and have just stuck to it ever since.

We buy for our son, his girlfriend and each other (and parents when they were alive). No-one else,not even other children.

Even so, we will make sure that we get something the person wants. For example, the last two years my son and his girlfriend have been bought a return flight to visit us in Spain. This covers their Christmas and Birthdays for the whole year. My husband and I bought a Satnav,this is our Christmas present to each other. We don't often bother with birthdays, except in January it is my 60th and so we have splashed out a bit (£65 on the every single David Suchet 'Poirot' episode ever made). My husband had a gym subscription for his 60th last January.

So, not many gifts, but always something that someone wants for us.

We are Christians, which is one of the reasons (not the only one)that we feel it is wrong to spend tons of money on crap.

shaz22 · 15 November 2009 at 9:34PM

As I recall, the three wise men brought gifts of gold, frankinsence and myrrh for the baby Jesus.

Not sure anyone wants the latter, but the gold has surely gone to all those companies offering "cash for your spare gold" this year and perhaps it really is for some money saving, frank sense!

Christmas cards - design your own (get small children to make unique ones if you don't have time), buy in January sales, recycle last years (my parents display ones I've sent previous years and no-one notices), look for charity ones where the charity actually gets a huge chunk of the money as opposed to a piddly amount, recycle them for the Woodland Trust, recycle the paper, and donate postage stamps to charities that still take them.

Hand deliver cards (provides walking exercise and gets you to actually chat with the recipient if they are in), use Scout Post (18p and the youngsters benefit), be organised so never a need to stretch to 1st class post.

Put together a shoe box (or cat food pouches box) of basics for soldiers in Afghanistan.

Parcels, up to 2kg, can be sent free of charge. Obtain a "named person" to whom to address it by calling the Civilian phone line at a UK army base and they will tell you a name and rank of someone who can act as a distributor eg when the Welsh Guards based in Aldershot had people out there, they provided the name Major...., The Quartermaster, plus the BFPO number etc. If a certain regiment doesn't have a battallion out there, they may refer you to one who does.

Shampoos etc need to be taped to prevent leakage on occasion boxes are dropped to to the troops and aerosols are no good.

Items appreciated: shampoo, toothaste, roll-on deodorants, toothbrushes, decent toilet paper, shower gel, soap, nuts, pot noodles (ie anything that can be made up by just adding boiling water), tea bags, crackers (anything that doesn't melt or will go out of date quickly), squirty cheese, tins tuna, freeze pops (not frozen!), tomato paste (stuff that adds taste to army food), magazines, letters, jokes, trivial Christmas items eg mini Christmas crackers.

An American told me they (in receipt of Starbucks and McDonalds) call the British "the borrowers".

Christmas presents - vouchers resulting from online surveys, Tesco Deals meaning the gift is 4 x the face value. The recipient need never know.

Donate old blankets, cushions, sheets, pillows, pillow cases to the RSPCA. They're always needed and the kennels always get an influx of unwanted pets at Christmas. Volunteer to walk the dogs or buy the cats/dogs a box of biscuits/cans or pouches of food. Again, they're never refused.

Voluntary work - volunteer bureaux usually have vacancies for people to assist in homeless hostels etc over Christmas and help bring cheer to others. Sure there will be other kinds of placements also. They usually ask for a minimum time commitment of 4hrs so that's not a huge committment for most.

Make the Christmas decs, get an artificial tree and keep it to use year after year. Money saving for the long-term.

Buy a jagged edged scissors from Hobbycraft etc and turn Christmas cards into gift tags for birthdays (if not too festive in design) and Christmas.

Menu plan to avoid food waste and weight gain!

Just a few ideas, happy Christmas.

My Christmas wish list, spend quality time with my family and new nephew, walk my sister and brother-in-law's golden labrador to exhaustion so they can have their "meat" Christmas dinner together with my mum and dad (I'm veggie) and not have to walk her that day! And hopefully, a bit of voluntary work. In return: well, I'd not refuse meeting my Mr Right! Santa, did you get that?

Caterina · 15 November 2009 at 9:48PM

Great stuff Martin, I think very much on the same lines.

seven-day-weekend · 15 November 2009 at 9:51PM

All good ideas Shaz, and some of them we already do (but not necessarily at Christmas).

As for the gifts for Jesus , well my take on it is they were for JESUS, gold meaning a king, frankinsense symbolising God and myrrh as a prediction of his death. I don't see where buying crap for all and sundry comes into that. (not saying your ideas are crap btw, they are actually the sort of things one SHOULD do at Christmas imho).

I actually haven't much liked Christmas since I became a Christian , as I don't like all the hype and over-spending and over-indugence, Jesus wasn't born in December and Christmas trees are pagan symbols of the pagan festival Yule.

I appreciate I am in a minority, but that's another reason why Christmas is low key in our family.

eco · 15 November 2009 at 11:18PM

Hi, thought I'd add my bit, I give my neices and nephews money at Christmas, they love spending it in the sales and getting more and what they want for the money, as I'm single my sis buys me a present as a thank you, I asked for perfume last year and told her which one, as we'd both decided we had enough carp and we didn't want to get anymore.
My ex's family spent loads on Christmas, my ex also thought we should spend about £300 on each other, when I tried explaining why I thought we shouldn't we should spend it on something for the house, he thought it was because I didn't love him, but we were just buying a load of stuff that wasn't really wanted.
I love Christmas and I remember as a kid how much my mum struggled to buy presents and food, so for a couple of years before my mum died, we did alternative Christmas (she was ill and couldn't do with the noise) we had something nice for lunch and a pudding then sat in front of the telly, and we'd buy her a useful present, I bought stuff like a long fleecy dressing gown, which she loved and wore.

never_enough · 16 November 2009 at 5:28AM

I can't bear the waste of money & piles of rubbish I used to get. I'd rather people saved their cash & also saved me from having to transport it down to the local charity shop. But I also hate lists, it's just so clinical. Or rather something like "I'd like some dangly silver earrings" is ok, but "I want item 786-78655 from Argos & btw it's £300.99" is just awful. We used to get lists sent in September, often nothing below £40 & please choose in the next week so it can be sent to the next person.... :mad:

My friend, sister & I gave up buying presents about 5 years ago, brothers never bothered anyway. We none of us need anything & if we do we'd go & buy it! Last year finally got rest of family to agree to no presents too, so that's it except for nieces & nephews. I love buying presents, but have always just given them to people throughout the year as I get too excited to save them for a specific date!

They can be bargain finds, sometimes they're not, bt I know that the recipient will like whatever it is. I often make some jam, or chocolate truffles as a little presents & they always seem to go down well.
I do buy for a few friends children, but it's usually something very 'sensible' like slippers, or wooly tights (all girls obviously!) or a book that I'd think they'd enjoy. I specifically ask for no presents in return but must admit I do love getting a drawing, or a school photo! I guess I've become that aged 'aunt' that I used to think was nice , but just a bit odd when I was little...oh dear...