How to handle the OH! My fault

Idiophreak

ema_o wrote: »

Have to pipe up and say the % thing is one way of doing it, however we split things so we both get the same amount of spending money as our salaries are quite different, otherwise one of us would end up with far more than the other. Might be another idea to explore.

Never been keen on this - never understood why my GF should end up as well off as me at the end of month, despite her choosing to do a job she enjoys while I chose one that pays well.

That said, we'll see how my attitude changes once her wage overtakes mine

Any

Idiophreak wrote: »

Half the time I'll pick up the mail and open it / file it / throw out the junk. Half the time my GF will do it. The reason is that it's quicker and easier than both doing it every day...Never thought of it as the slightest issue.

I completely agree with the sentiment that I really don't see what is the deal with this. 99% of time it's just boring bills, leaflets and offers, it's not like I am excited to open someone elses post!!:rotfl:

I married the man and share my heart and my body with him... I believe some parts of my body are far more private then credit card bill and he still gets to see it!!!:rotfl::rotfl:

Pepzofio

My OH used to grumble if I ever opened his mail, which I never really understood as it was only ever bank statements and junk mail etc, never anything personal, and I'd only open it coz he never got round to it and it would just pile up... (Then when he finally did open it all, he'd ask me to file it for him!! )

I stopped bothering and within a few months (a) he'd received a fine for forgetting to renew car tax/declare SORN (car had been off road for ages so he never noticed the tax expiring) and (b) his car insurance had been taken off one of my credit cards (without me realising as I never use the card in question) and I'd incurred a penalty for late payment :mad:

I now 'help' him open his post and he doesn't say a word... :rolleyes:

tiamai_d

wobbly wrote: »

Hi
Really am worrying. I have gone over my overdraft and oh has opened the letter before i sorted it out. We have separate bank accounts. I know i should not of kept it from him and he is feeling hurt and betrayed. Tonight he wants to talk about it. He has held back as he knows i am really low at the moment with major troubles at work. I am not a bad person but someone that has been stupid with money and poor budgeting. I feel i have no dignity left! I want to try and sort this problem out myself as i was stupid enough to get myself in to it, but i know oh will take over. Just dont want to hurt him anymore.
Any advise would be great Thanks

Going overdrawn is not crime of the century so pick back up your dignity lovely!

As for feeling hurt, if he is feeling hurt that you couldn't confide in him then ok, but if he is hurt because you messed up with money then not ok.

Is there a reason why you didn't want to tell him? Did you know he would go off on one? That is the bigger issue I think.

Have a good chat, but do not sit and feel like you have commited a huge crime, you haven't. You made a mistake, I've done it (many a time!).

wobbly

thankyou all so much you are all fab
we are getting a loan to pay of the overdraft and closing my account. We are having a joint account and have worked out we will be better off after the bills have been paid. I can now stop panicking abou my lads xmas presents!
Oh was upset as i had not confided in him and it made him feel bad that i couldn't i was too ashamed. It has ended well.
Thanks again xx

msb5262

Hello OP,
Well done for getting this sorted. You had lots of support and good answers here, but you've done it yourself so congratulations. Hope everything is easier from now on.
MsB