OberonSH's DFW Diary Thread - 1 Woman, 1 Toddler & A Whole Lotta Debt!

In_Search_Of_Me

PMSL (P*ssed myself laughing!). You keep going girl! Know exactly what you mean about the precious £2 coins! I NEED that facial...actually got spots! I mean come on, I'm 36!! Glad to hear you're nearly shot of x-husb! Mine did a simular thing by running off with barmaid & when she dumped him hinted he's like to return! Like hell! Best decision I ever made getting shot of that one!! Also do cross stitch!! Cant knit to save my life (my mum lefthanded taught me, righthanded!!)! Have you got any weddingy cross stitch patterns, small & simple? My bro is getting married in Sept! Must start!!
You keep up the good work girl...23 for nursery sounds cheap! They did some research and found that children who went to nursery did really well compated to those who stayed at home and they usually have an introductions period so doubt she'll be scarred by the experience...would be surprised if you can get a childminded cheaper than that but worth a try! Keep up the good work! Have bookmarked you to keep an eye on progress!

OberonSH

Evening Ladies, Gents & Ultra Intelligent Hamsters (well, what do you think Mr Fluffy does all day when you're at work?)

It is still a happy time, got my decree nisi through this morning - well, the date and time, so I reckon on or around August 3rd I will be the proud owner of a Decree Absolute (they're this year's must have, dahling, I mean, look at Brad and Jen, and Britney has a new one every week) and am then free to marry again, should I ever have some horrific accident that removes my ability to think rationally. Spent a glorious few moments imagining Mr Slimy's face as he opened his post....

I am going to design a card for just this situation, as I have spotted a gap in the market. When aforementioned Toerag From Hell opens said card, he will be greeted by a chorus of 'Ain't Seen Nothing Yet', a popup Delboy Proclaiming 'You Plonker' and a squirt of your choice of corrisive liquid. Anthrax/Smallpox/Herpes available at extra cost.

Bitter? Moi?

Then my second stroke of luck - I had to phone Satan's Hotline (Inland Revenue) because the bailiff company have sent back my VAT payment cheques, as they don't accept them for VAT cases. Taken 'em 2 weeks, so I wanted to make sure that Gordon Brown's Evil Henchmen didn't think I hadn't paid. They extended my time, and kindly gave me their bank details to avoid the charges I had to pay Rossendales. Busy day at shop, DD was a star as usual, and had a lovely dinner of Chicken livers in Tomato Chilli Sauce (own reciepe and very tasty it is too) and am now updating my bloggy thingy to amuse my fellow MSE'ers.

Moneysaving wise excellent, as I got an updated balance on my council debts, and even was a good girl and took the standing order forms down to bank for them. Spent nothing except my weekly shop (£6.85!!!) Lost even more of my precious £2 stash, but restrained myself from leaping over the counter and choking the old bird (who gave me a £20 note for buttons, and then smugly said as I emptied my stash 'Oh good, I collect the £2 coins for the kiddies) So all in all an excellent day, and I'm hoping all of you had a happy day as well.

Remember, every day is a day closer to being MBNA's Worst Nightmare!!

OberonSH

Fishface - give me an idea of what you want - card, cute design etc and I'll see what I have. Know I have a nice Humphrey's corner one (elephants), apart from that not much, as I've had a BOGOF sale recently, and you DO NOT get between a cross stitch addict and a kit sale. There were handbags over the last Teresa Wentzler, and I had to get between 2 women squaring up over a dolphin kit today.

whatamess_2

Hi havent seen the swahili speaker at work yet!!! Soon as I see her will let you know!!! It is now getting quite a complusion to read your updates if i have had less than a cheerful day it makes me chuckle out loud. Kids think mother has finally totally lost it!!:rotfl: :rotfl:
Messy

OberonSH

Thanks whatamess, I find it quite calmng to jot as well. Now I'd like the swahili for the following, if you could:

1) Crawl into a hole and die, scumpig (For both Ex & VAT man)
2) I dont want to pay my VAT, because Gordon Brown is not a nice man
3) How is your pet prostitute?
4) Give me all your £2 coins
5) I'd like 50 kilos of anthrax please, to go. No, no fries thank you. But go ahead and supersize me.

dottyanne

Hi Obi

You are a STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i wuv u me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol doty :-)

OberonSH

Hey dotty, you feeling all zen and calm yet?

lynzpower

Great to see you indomitable spirit today again hun

OberonSH

Evening girls, boys & Misc.

Today was not such a good day. Hark back if you will to the Great VAT Caper - it was eventually agreed I send them my payment in 2 halves by postdated cheques to Rossendales, the bailiff compnay. Thought this was odd (as Rossendales don't accept cheques usually), but figured this is the Almighty VAT Office, and who am I to argue, tiny worm that I am.

So off went the cheques, and I waited. I got them back yesterday with a little letter saying 'Sorry, we dont accept cheques, please rmeit in cash/bankers draft by return of post'. I called Satan's Hotline and told the VAT girl that I had had my cheques back, what should I do? She was very helpful (obviously new - the hardening of the heart & soul had not yet begun) and she gave my the HM Customs bank details, and said 'pay into the bank, we'll let Rossendales know'. All fine and dandy.

Now, this morning I got a bailiff through the door. Neck bigger than his head, and obviously got turned down for job of Head Moron for being too dumb. Disturbing shade of mahogany tan, and wearing an unnecessarily tight t-shirt. Hang on a minute, I said, I only got my cheques back yesterday, after 2 weeks, You're quick! I tell you what, girls & boys, I have never EVER been spoken to like that cabbage-head spoke to me. I was told that the account should have been paid on the 5th of June anyways, and he wanted a payment today. When told this was impossible, I was told 'well, then what did you expect to happen with your cheques if you don;t have the money?! Bear in mind I had not seen any ID from this neanderthal, nor any bill bar what the first visiting bailiff left - I snuck a peek at the paperwork he was clutching and it looked like the original bill of £750 is now £900!! I was in the middle of trying to explain that VAT told me cheques would be fine, when he barked at me that he would call me Thursday on my mobile for full payment on a debit card. In the middle of me trying to tell him I was now dealing direct with VAT office, he turned round and walked out, leaving me talking to thin air!

I was so angry (it's making me angry just thinking about it) I called VAT to make a complaint. They apologised and said they'd look into it. In the meantime I'd need to pay to them by next Tuesay. Fine I said. Just don;t send that arrogant tosspot back again, or I'll have him jumped on by my security boys for harrassing me.

It makes me sick the way some of these bailiffs talk to you like you're some kind of criminal, or something they stepped in. He didn't even let me explain what was going on, and I bet I'm now going to be charged for the pleasure of being spoken to that. His visit must have lasted all of 3 minutes. When he realised he wasn't going to get payment there and then he wasn't interested. I'm going to start up the Friendly Bailiff Co. - we'll collect payment the nicest possible way, and won't make your clients feel like scum. We promise not to send out failed bouncers and guys who have been on the steroids too long, and guarantee that our staff will not make situation worse by acting like jerks.

On the way home I forgot to get DD's nappies - going to have to get her up in a bit to go to the shops to get some, and had to pay the £1 bus fare home as it started raining as we got on the bus, so wasn't going to walk home in the rain in a sundress. Not a big deal, you cry, but I was really hoping to have a no-bus-fare week this week. Nearly had a bit of a sob, but decided that that won't make any difference to the bills, and so will use the anger I'm feeling to help me get where I want. It's tough not having anyone to have a 5 minute selfpity-fest at, but I guess that's what this blog is for.

Still, on the bright side we had a nice dinner, house is basically clean, and I have the accounts to look forward to (eh?) I may raid my £2 stash, and get a bottle of wine to help. I know, my precious £2 coins - that's how bad today was. Feeling fairly down about the whole money thing - my budgets for stuff are lovely and organised, but it seems the more the spreadsheets tell me where to put money, the less money I have to put places! I know I should be putting £100 week away for rent, but somehow that money always needs spending somewhere else first - I'll put it back next week, then suddenly it's rent day and I'm having to 'borrow' it from somewhere else on the budget. Sigh, at least this won't carry on forever. And it won;t, boys and girls, one day we'll be debt free.

CosmoCat

i do love your posts! i think maybe when you become debt free you should put this all into a book, put the thread title on the front and make a mint. you're a brilliant writer.

((((hugs))))) to you for having to deal with idiot bailiff man. i don't know how you do it and manage to stay calm with them. but at least you know what to expect if the gorilla turns up again. hopefully though he won't.

you however are still a superstar!!!! and a very intelligent and witty one as well.

i'll be first in line at the bookstore.....