He might want another baby but I don't

funky_snow

Thinks we've had a fairly well reasoned debate here :-) It makes a nice change!

Regarding contraception - its best to go and discuss with experts. I found my local doctors and family planning attached to the surgery were rubbish if you wanted something different to the pill. If you live in a large town there's usually a sexual health and contraception clinic attached to a hospital who tend to be more up to date with current options.

Like you I can't use hormonal contraception - just puts my whole body out of balance and I'm either an emotional wreck for no reason or so messed up with irregular bleeding that I end up as an emotional wreck! There is a non hormonal coil - and maybe this will be appropriate for you but only a chat with the nurse will see if its worth trying

JBD

Lunar eclipse, when I was sterilized I had keyhole surgery, done as a day patient. Recovery was quick and easy, I didn't even have any post-op painkillers. I think you do need a bit of help with lifting etc but it was really easy.

ceridwen

Jo_F wrote: »

Even if you are sure now that you don't want another child, you don't know how you are going to feel in a few years time. Like I said, I would have rather walked on broken glass than had another baby.

But then there are those of us who definitely do mean it forevermore amen...when we make that decision. I dealt with this in my 20s and have frequently been thankful that I did that and could then forget about it for the rest of my life.

Fast forward to 30 years later (as it now is) and I have literally never had one single moment of regret. But I'm absolutely positive that I would have been completely furious if I had ever got pregnant....very very upset and very very angry indeed - and then gone off and had an abortion as fast as possible so that I could forget about it and get on with the rest of my life as fast as possible.

So - we all vary in this respect. Some of us are very very certain of our own mind in every way from an early age. I have several ideas I hold to very strongly - and none of the others have changed either in the last 30 years. With some of us - if we have thought something through carefully - then thats it - thought through and decided for life.

ceridwen

JBD wrote: »

Lunar eclipse, when I was sterilized I had keyhole surgery, done as a day patient. Recovery was quick and easy, I didn't even have any post-op painkillers. I think you do need a bit of help with lifting etc but it was really easy.

...yep...me too. I decided to take myself for a short walk down the road later that same day in fact...and admit to feeling a bit surprised that I couldnt manage much of the nice dinner I had just bought for myself:mad: Appetite was back to normal the next day though:D

The only point I was annoyed about was that they had told me the stitches were dissolvable - and they werent:mad: - cue for not being too happy with them when my doctor had a bit of a time of it removing them a week later (as I had cut them right down to the skin because I "knew" they were dissolvable:mad:). The only thing I would change in hindsight would be to insist that the stitches really WERE dissolvable - and not snip them right off myself afterwards just in case they werent...

Apart from that little quibble - it was all very straightforward and, after a while, one cant even tell on close inspection that I have had an operation, as the two small scars 99.9% vanished. I was a bit concerned about how I was going to wear a bikini without anyone spotting scars - but it wasnt that long before that wasnt a problem and no-one would have guessed.

To me it was all just a totally straightforward matter of rectifying what Mother Nature had done to me - as I had to presume Mother Nature had ensured that I was fertile and I just didnt see why I should be put in a position where I had landed with the wrong "default position" on this. I dont understand personally why one has to opt out of having children, rather than opt in to having them - Mother Nature has got that wrong. I had the ability (and the chequebook) to put this right - so I did.

grey_lady

Havent ever told anyone this before

We use the rhythm method along with condoms for a good few days during the risky time, to start with I used pee sticks from Boots - basically you pee on them in the morning and they tell you if it's a safe time or a dangerous time, you can also buy a device to use with them that will track your fertility, it advises you use the sticks every day for the first few weeks, gradually reducing them to just a couple a month.

I never bothered with the device and no longer use the pee sticks but just keep a notebook with the dates underlined where we need to be careful. My cycle is normally 31 days a month so i count back 14 days from 31 and underline a few days either side as my cycle can range from 29-35 days, i correspond that to actual dates.

Works for us but we did discuss in the beginning that it might not have been as certain as other methods but i wanted to avoid using a hormonal contraceptive long term.

MrsTinks

Friend of mine uses the rythm method - she can't use hormonal ones - not that she doesn't want to And they were happy and content with the 3 girls they had... she was regular as clock work... right up until she fell pregnant 9 years after having her youngest Her hubby volunteered to have the snip after that although he now has a much loved son to go with the 3 daughters
Rythm method can be great... but make sure you decide before hand between BOTH of you what you would do in the case you had an accidental pregnancy... what you don't want is for you to want a termination and him not - because that could be the end of any strong relationship if you both feel strongly enough about it...