MSE Pregnancy Club 17

BeenieCat

ps. Don't feel you need to read all that or reply to it, just writing it down has helped :rotfl:

three2be

No beenie i can understand your annoyance. Sometimes when you add the little stuff up it makes it a big thing for a while. on the whole the problem is she never needed the help and complains about it when she gets it, you on the other hand don't get any and complain about the lack of it. so it would be annoying when you work your butt off and have little help and she has it handed to her on a platter and complains.

OH's sister's used to be the same one had no money worries and complained (always in a subtle round about way.)that the other sis got all the help but the other sis was on her own living on income support, where as she had disability etc and a daughter earning a wage they live on take aways and wear designer clothes that even me and OH couldn't afford when we both worked.

I just remembered a story about them from years ago that left me shocked, MIL was still alive and bought the younger sis(one on income support) a winter jacket for her wee boy(£30) when the other sis found out about it she kept on about how her DS was needing one and she had just paid her council tax and phone bill(something like that anyway) so MIL felt that she had to buy her one to keep things fair. I went visiting that night and MIL had a face like thunder so when everyone left i asked her what was wrong, they picked a jacket at £120 and were not pleased when MIL said no, they embarrassed her in front of people in the shop asking her if she could not afford that much etc until MIL gave in and bought it. But that meant MIL could not pay all of her bills so me and OH had to loan her the money for them and to top it all she was annoyed that neither of them had even thought to say thanks. They were like kids with toys if one got something the other had to have their own,plus they would never except hand me downs or second hand.

gill_81uk

gymfiend wrote: »

I hate mince other than in lasagne, everything is chicken here

Bet you're glad to have your heating/boiler sorted EA!

Ok 10 items up on eBay, feel like I'm getting there, phew. Now debating...I have some brown Ugg's aswell as my new black ones...do I sell the old ones, so I can buy new sand ones? :rotfl:

So tempted to go through OH's wardrobe & get rid of some of his clothes, I've bought him loads in the past that never see the light of day but whenever I ask he tells me he wants them!

My vote goes for chicken as well. Mince :eek:

Your OH sounds just like mine gymfiend. I get him loads of nice smart t shirts and he just keeps going out in his scruffy old ones! He's incapable of planning any sort of outfit and I learned quite quickly to oversee his holiday packing when he packed loads of clothes that just didnt match and had nothing to wear!

So glad the witch has gone Three!

Big hugs Beanie. You don't sound petty and jealous at all, I would say your sister does though!! I can't believe she took money off you for the baby stuff, esp considering she didnt pay for it and knowing your situation. Is she older or younger than you btw?

BeenieCat

Thanks three, am glad you can see where i'm coming from, i just feel like it's all brewing and i am so fed up of the snideyness!! She chose to get with that bloke knowing what a loser he was, nobody would have predicted what my ex has done to me. But at least her ex tried to win her over by buying the contents of babies r us for her!!

Gill, she's 4 yrs older than me. Another thing is that when my DS was born, i was so young and on my own that my mother stepped in and gave me a lot of help (this was in the days before she became a lost cause :rotfl:) and a short while later, my sis had her DD but completely distanced herself from all of us, and we hardly heard from her or saw her cos she was so wrapped up in her bf and was v.over protective of her DD and didn't like anyone else to have her, so because of this, our mother has always been closer to my DS, in that she'd babysit when i was working (sis has never worked!) or buy some school shoes for him when he started school. Sis is stubborn and will refuse any offers of help, but then moan if she doesn't get it, whereas i've learned to take any help i can get cos it's so rare!!

gill_81uk

That's mad beanie. My little sis is 2 and a half years younger than me and I feel so protective towards her. She's probably financially better off than me atm but I love giving her little treats and would definitely give her anything she needed. My Dh's bro is 4 years younger and I feel the same towards him aswell. You sound like such a lovely person, it seems so unfair that you have to put up with this cr*p. It sounds totally natural that your mum would be closer to your DS than her kids. It definitely sounds as though she is very jealous of you.

Coming on this thread really helps me to put my petty little problems into perspective lol

BeenieCat

omg three just seen your edit, that's so greedy i could never justify spending that much on a kids coat and wouldn't dream of asking someone else to.

It's weird cos we get on okay at the moment, but i feel like she's always having digs at me and like i'm being taken for an idiot by keeping my mouth shut.

She was complaining how she needs to split herself into 2 cos "her" father has been taken into hospital and i assume the other half is cos she had said she would be my birthing partner, work permitting :rolleyes: So i just feel like it's all a big effort for her, she's free to go chasing up his backside for all i care, don't let me giving birth get in the way of your daughterly duties !!!!!! :mad:

Oh and to explain the work permitting thing, she's just started a job and is going on as though i couldn't possibly understand the stresses of arranging nurseries and working hours, i've only been out of work since this year, my son is nearly 7!!! This is her 1st job since before she had her first!

three2be

Beenie dose your sister actually know the financial position you have been left in or is it not something you discuss, only saying because before all that with my sis she was in a good job but always assumed i had more money than her because me and OH worked, it wasn't until she asked me to do some finances for her and i told her what i saved each month and the percentages that she added it up and realized her income was higher yet she done less with it.(she was forever borrowing money from me thinking i was well of and not just MSE:rolleyes:)

Perhaps your sis just doesn't realize how difficult it is having never been in your position IYSWIM.

Given last post the saying ... Head up her AR Se ... springs to mind.lol

BeenieCat

three2be wrote: »

plus they would never except hand me downs or second hand.

Oh yeah definitely, i showed her some clothes i got from the boot sale and she was like, 'oh they're nice actually, i wish i'd have thought of that when i had my 2nd'.

Well you would have if you were skint and had no other choice, it's not like they've just bloody been invented, you had everything brand new!!!

Yeah she knows i'm skint, and she knows my ex has left me in the lurch and that he'd promised me the cot then changed his mind a few weeks ago etc. She knows i had to get a loan from the jobcentre to catch up on bills and help towards Xmas/baby/decorating, but seems to think i must have inherited a million quid. I'm not the one wearing expensive clothes still though!! She knows how to play the system that's for sure, she was claiming as single when with her well paid ex, and still gets his maintenance cash in hand, and has had a few grants that she doesn't need to pay back (somehow). I'd never ever report her or anything, but i have wondered if it'd all catch up with her one day - well it hasn't :rolleyes: I do everything by the book cos when i was working i had so much hassle with the measly amount of HB i was entitled to because they kept awarding me wrong amounts and i ended up in loads of debt, even though i did it all properly, so i know i couldn't handle the stress of lying lol

three2be

BeenieCat wrote: »

Well you would have if you were skint and had no other choice, it's not like they've just bloody been invented, you had everything brand new!!!

The sis with the money was like that when i showed her the nappies i got off ebay she actually asked if money was that tight we needed to resort to washing one's. When i told her that 1.they were brand new in their original wrappings so as good as shop bought. 2.The money i save can be spent on all the kids so they don't miss out because baby needs nappies 3. they are easy not like the old style terries years ago, a wash every second/third day in the machine. 4. our bin isn't big enough for disposables everyday. She sat very annoyed and her best reply was well i couldn't do that to my kids imagine the embarrassment...................!!!!!! Mind you this is the woman that throws out cold meat at the end of the day as her fridge dries it out .erm .. adjust the thermostat and cover the meat you idiot!!

BeenieCat

:rotfl::rotfl: Some people...!!! I feel really guilty now that i've ended up slating her big time, but i was so close to picking up the phone tonight and picking her up on her comments earlier, although it would have ended up in a huge argument so not sure what that would achieve. I need to stop keeping my mouth shut at the time she says it though, cos i'm just stewing on it afterwards wishing i'd pulled her up on it.

I am always made to feel bad that her kids are harder work than mine, even before she had her 2nd, because my DS has always been so easy and laid back, it's not my fault hers are more demanding, doesn't mean she works harder as a mother!! I just didn't pander to him when he had his tantrum phase so he soon got bored of it.

But that's how i'm made to feel all the time, but her DD gets taken on hols and allsorts with her dad, my DS only has me.