help with mum

flossy_splodge

Hi all. Just to pick this up again, have had no contact with Dad since all the trouble blew up but yesterday on my way home went past his house and saw the curtains were closed, the upstairs windows open and his car in the drive. It was 4.30pm so I was more than a bit concerned as by this time EVEN he has usually managed to come downstairs! So I did the only thing I felt I could and went in. There he was in his kitchen! Just hadn't bothered to open his curtains! He said he was just on his way over to me with a pot plant he had bought as the colours were those he thought I liked!! Just as if there was no problem! Anyway I wasn't in the mood for a battle so I let things be but will have to tackle him about it all and then we will probably go back to square one! I find it hard to hold a grudge and hate being on poor terms with family, well, at least with him at his age so we will have to see how things go. Wish me luck! and thanks for all the love and support, it made a HUGE difference.x:grouphug:

jojo2004

Just wanted to say thanks to Aunty Margaret (you rock!) and Jennniferpa and Dora - you are right, I don't not care about the situation, I just hate to see Mum (flossysplodge) constantly getting hurt by that old bu**er and so the logical solution seems to be - don't see him! I know that's a lot easier for me to say, as I'm not in contact with him (can't stand the man) and he's not my father, but I do think that people feel they have to try harder with their families than they would with friends, (and if a friend acted in the way my grandfather, kazzy's mum or any of the other parents mentioned here did, they'd be dropped in an instant) so they have to put up with more as a result. And I totally agree that old people don't get any special dispensation to be disgustingly obnoxious just because they are old. My grandfather has been saying for years that he's "just waiting until they put him in his box" (no comment...) because he knows the effect this has on Mum. And he's still alive, and still doing it, so at what point do you become immune to the "I'm going to die soon, so you'd better be nice to me" gambit? If there's a fortune that will otherwise go to the Cat's Home perhaps.... (;

flossy_splodge

Ooh jojo, and to think I thought you weren't swayed by money!:rotfl: Still processing stuff but wouldn't want anyone to read this and think you're unkind/heartless etc. He is a bombastic !!!!!!! and you are right in much you say. I think it is such a salutary lesson to young and old alike to realise just how much responsibility we have as fellow humans. We never know what makes someone behave how they do,but I don't believe it comes from nowhere. That's truly not an excuse, just a sadness I feel that somewhere in his history his experiences or lack of led him to be the person he is, with no friends (his own admission) and little family contact. It's so easy not to notice others' pain until its too late.:o

jojo2004

flossy_splodge wrote:

Ooh jojo, and to think I thought you weren't swayed by money!:rotfl:

only moneysaving.....!!!