need some advice :(

hazyjo

You need to build your self confidence/independence up. You WILL manage without him. Do you have good friends? Do you go out much? Have you had other relationships? What sort of age are you?

People are around who can offer you assistance (as you're discovering). Why do you think you 'need' him?

x

klee1505

yes yes i have had relationships beore nothing that has lasted this long but i have had relationships before. dont have many friends at the moment kinda drifted apart from them since i been with him to be honest. im just scared to be alone i guess. i know i sound absolutly pathetic i know i do

pinkduvetdiva

I'll just say that if your OH is basically going around not giving a stuff about the distress he's causing you, then you might as well be alone. Get back in touch with your friends and lose the loser! You can be happy alone-you don't need a man to make your life complete, and you CERTAINLY don't need a waste of space like your OH! When you are happy with yourself byyourself, then you'll meet decent people who are worthy of your company. Good luck! :beer:

foxy-roxy

klee1505 wrote: »

yes yes i have had relationships beore nothing that has lasted this long but i have had relationships before. dont have many friends at the moment kinda drifted apart from them since i been with him to be honest. im just scared to be alone i guess. i know i sound absolutly pathetic i know i do

TBH I do know how you feel and why you feel like that, he has been your life for 3 years and it is very hard to try again, unimaginable.

I was with someone for 6 years and i was very niaeve, he cheated on me and i caught him red handed, but still believed his lies etc.
I couldn't imagine being with anyone else at all, and also had no friends, but if your friends are good ones they will understand and help you through it.
I know it is so easy for me to sit here on my laptop and say this to you (see my sig) but it is true, once you have moved on you will wonder what on earth you were doing putting up with someone like that when there are plenty of others out there that would give you a lifetime of respect and love.
But if you do want to work it out with him that is obviously completley up to you but i wouldn't make it easy for him, let him think he will lose you and make him sweat. You might even find in a couple of months that you have lost all respect for him anyway and don't want to be with him after all.

Good Luck hun

Shambler

Hi klee,

firstly hugs {{{hugs}}}

take it from me the feeling of relief of getting away from a wrong 'un will be compensation enough for any loneliness...had similar experience myself with my ex.

Don't put up with spending your days wondering what your partners up to, my girlfriend is welcome to look at all 3000 text messages on my phone, 99% are to her anyway :rolleyes:

Puddings

Couldn't read and not post..

I'm going through this now. We are 8 months on and it's so hard. I'm having what I call a down day today about it again when you remember word for word the texts you saw (I get to visualise the photos of 'her' too, burned onto my brain)

We are trying to work things out. I've moved out and we are 'dating' again after a period of total seperation.

The difference here though is that when i found out and confronted him he begged, he cried, he held onto my legs as I tried to walk out, he cried some more, infact he cried for most of the 6 hours we spent talking about it that day, he cried every time I came to get some belongings. We have a LONG way to go and I still don't know if it will work but at least the effort from him is there.

Over the last few months since this I've put myself first, lost weight, pampered myself, got back in touch with my mates and found a lovely flatmate to live with.

Every one is different, my mate told me to ditch him, she has recently been cheated on by her OH but has stayed with him to work it out and now she understands that sometimes you can't just switch off your feelings and go without looking back.

I do know that if we can't work it out at least we have tried.

Huge hugs in your direction x