really need some advice please

DX2

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

He would have PR over the youngest child and not the eldest child due to the change in the laws if they were not married.

So if he has PR for the youngest (5yr old) then he can contact the school and request reports etc.

PrincessPlaty

DX2 wrote: »

So if he has PR for the youngest (5yr old) then he can contact the school and request reports etc.

Not in every case im afraid, my ex has PR over both of my girls and he isnt allowed to know anything about them because have previous issues and the fact that he has nothing to do with them. Not only that but i would be raising issues with the school with regards to them giving information out even if it is just the fact that your children attend that school at all, my childrens school dont give that information out unless it is to someone of an official status, health visitor, social worker etc. Surely anyone could walk into a school and say i have PR over child x i want to know if they are here and be involved.

I dont understand what he intends to achieve by going to the school anyway if he doesnt want contact with the children then why is he going to such lengths to try and find out how she is getting on at school.

DX2

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

I dont understand what he intends to achieve by going to the school anyway if he doesnt want contact with the children then why is he going to such lengths to try and find out how she is getting on at school.

Maybe he cares how his children are doing at school, if he didn't care why did he put gifts round to the kids on their birthday.

atwitsend_2

The school told him to contact me directly to find out how the kids are. He told the school that he wants no contact with me and the kids, just contact with the teacher, seems odd to me...but if thats what he wants then who am i to stop it.

DX2

Parental responsibility is defined as ‘all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which, by law, a parent of a child has in relation to the child and their property’.

That means, if you have parental responsibility, you are recognised in the eyes of the law as having all the legal powers to make appropriate decisions in relation to the upbringing of your child.
It is also important to note that if you have parental responsibility, this does give you the legal right to see your child but DOES NOT guarantee contact.

On a practical level it will, among other things, allow you to contact your child’s GP to obtain or discuss medical treatment for your child, and to play an active role in your child’s education, giving you access to school reports and parents’ evenings.

PrincessPlaty

DX2 wrote: »

Maybe he cares how his children are doing at school, if he didn't care why did he put gifts round to the kids on their birthday.

Sorry but if he cared that much surely he would want to see his kids

Im sure the kids would have prefered to see their father on their birthdays rather than him sending a gift through a stranger

DX2

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Sorry but if he cared that much surely he would want to see his kids

Im sure the kids would have prefered to see their father on their birthdays rather than him sending a gift through a stranger

Perhaps he didn't want to upset the kids knowing fine well him and the OP would have a ding dong. He really doesn't come across as an a***h*** He was seeing the children he was paying child support things only changed when the OP found out he was taking their kids to his new girlfriends place.

But it's ok that the OP has moved on, I assume her kids have been introduced to her new partner more so now since she is expecting his child.

PrincessPlaty

DX2 wrote: »

Perhaps he didn't want to upset the kids knowing fine well him and the OP would have a ding dong. He really doesn't come across as an a***h*** He was seeing the children he was paying child support things only changed when the OP found out he was taking their kids to his new girlfriends place.

But it's ok that the OP has moved on, I assume her kids have been introduced to her new partner more so now since she is expecting his child.

I read it as things changed when the OP found out that her 2 children were having to share a bed and he couldnt provide adequate sleeping arrangements and refused to tell her an address of where the children would be in case of an emergency.

I cant see how this has anything to do with either the OP or the NRP having moved on but more of him witholding information from the OP and not providing adequate sleeping arrangements

busiscoming2

I would not let him have the children without having an address and contact number.
Can you contact the family mediation service, I believe they have places where he can have supervised contact with the children, so at least you know where they are, but obviously it wouldn't be overnight.

I wouldn't worry at all about his threats to tell the children about 'how bad you are' or the 'rape' as long as you are honest with your children as they grow up, they will see for themselves what he is like.

My ex took me to court for access, they had regular contact but this dwindled to nothing (their choice), he blamed me. Court decided he should keep contact with them via letter and phone: He phoned once and wrote about 6 letters over a couple of years, each one slating me.