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really need some advice please

13

Comments

  • atwitsend_2
    atwitsend_2 Posts: 879 Forumite
    MrsAnnie wrote: »
    I agree! We are on the same page PrincessPlaty.

    I was referring to the complete living arrangements, including the location, where, with who and everything else.

    I would not let my children sleepover anywhere, without knowing ALL details and being comfortable with the arrangements.

    Thank you, that is my concern, I dont want to stop all access with their dad, They need both parents in their lifes, but its him who refuses to contact me but then contacts the school for information...it seems he wants to know about the kids but wont contact me....
    2010 resolutions
    1- get my 5yo DD dry daytime, with enuresis help dry since 12th Jan so far!
    2-Lose 3 stone inc giving birth :j baby born 11/02/10! lost 2 stone, 1 more to go!
    3- more moneysaving! sealed pot number 851 :) SAHM getting organised, dont wanna go back to work after mat leave :o :j
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 36,526 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    If he has PR he is entitled to the same information about his children as you get.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • simpywimpy
    simpywimpy Posts: 2,386 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I would try and get a family liaison worker or similar to work with both of you so that you don't need to see or speak to each other if that helps the kids have contact with both of you.

    Social services could visit the dad and his new partner and agree it was suitable for you. Perhaps send a nicely worded letter to your ex via his parents or solicitor explaining you would like to meet without the kids and sort the arrangements out together?

    I agree that its difficult and getting worse as neither person wants to make the first move but if you just focus on this being for the kids, maybe something can be worked out?
  • atwitsend_2
    atwitsend_2 Posts: 879 Forumite
    I'm quite willing to make the first move, but I cant, I have no way of getting in touch with him! As i have said previously, If he contacted me, wether it be via letter, solicitor (he ditched his) or his parents, then I would be willing to allow some contact. Its so frustrating because I cant get in touch with him, he refuses to contact me, yet he tells the school he wants to be invloved....
    2010 resolutions
    1- get my 5yo DD dry daytime, with enuresis help dry since 12th Jan so far!
    2-Lose 3 stone inc giving birth :j baby born 11/02/10! lost 2 stone, 1 more to go!
    3- more moneysaving! sealed pot number 851 :) SAHM getting organised, dont wanna go back to work after mat leave :o :j
  • MrsAnnie
    MrsAnnie Posts: 679 Forumite
    atwitsend wrote: »
    I really need advice about the school giving him information and can they refuse to even though he has PR?

    I am not sure on this. You should go and meet with the Head teacher to discuss your concerns and see what options there are.
    I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he ha
    s had to overcome while trying to succeed. Booker T Washington
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 36,526 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    One thing you could do is explain to School that you have no contact details and cannot even contact him to make arrangements and ask them to hold a letter in case he turns up there again?
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • DX2
    DX2 Posts: 8,275 Forumite
    Just so I'm reading this correctly you had a child (7 yrs old) with this bloke, he raped you and you got back together then went on to have another child ( 5 yrs old) and you are expecting to this bloke for a third time. You say as he has PR over this one I am assuming the third child is his?
    *SIGH*
    :D
  • atwitsend_2
    atwitsend_2 Posts: 879 Forumite
    No, this is not his baby, We have been seperated for the last 3 years.
    2010 resolutions
    1- get my 5yo DD dry daytime, with enuresis help dry since 12th Jan so far!
    2-Lose 3 stone inc giving birth :j baby born 11/02/10! lost 2 stone, 1 more to go!
    3- more moneysaving! sealed pot number 851 :) SAHM getting organised, dont wanna go back to work after mat leave :o :j
  • DX2
    DX2 Posts: 8,275 Forumite
    atwitsend wrote: »
    No, this is not his baby, We have been seperated for the last 3 years.
    I was confused by you saying "he has PR over this one" can you clarify what this means please?
    *SIGH*
    :D
  • PrincessPlaty
    PrincessPlaty Posts: 2,084 Forumite
    He would have PR over the youngest child and not the eldest child due to the change in the laws if they were not married.
This discussion has been closed.
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