really need some advice please

atwitsend_2

leanneq wrote: »

Sorry but it sounds like initially you were being difficult. Now he has had enough and is being difficult back.
The most important thing is the kids have their relationship with their Dad. Can you go through his parents? You need to contact him and somehow make an agreement for him to have them, including overnight. As someone said, you have obviously moved on too so you have to accept that he has too.

I have tried to contact him, but he has changed his number and moved house and wont give me the address, I dont see why I should make nay more effort to find their absent father, he knows where I am if he wants to see them!

leanneq wrote: »

And also, in my opinion, i don't see a problem with a 5 and 7 year old sharing a bed.

They are of different sex, and the eldest is disbaled and wakes frequently throughout the night for assistance.

gingin_2

atwitsend wrote: »

This was all ok up until 6 months ago when I found out that he was sleeping them around hers again and he had infact moved in there. My children of different sexes were sharing her bed.
QUOTE]

Do you mean that the gf was in bed with the kids too, atwitsend?

atwitsend_2

gingin wrote: »

atwitsend wrote: »

This was all ok up until 6 months ago when I found out that he was sleeping them around hers again and he had infact moved in there. My children of different sexes were sharing her bed.
QUOTE]

Do you mean that the gf was in bed with the kids too, atwitsend?

I cannot say either way for definate i'm afraid

shellsuit

Forget the sleeping arrangements, the fact is, he won't tell you the address. (My son and daughter bedshared at their Dads for a long time)

Surely if he wants to see his kids though, he would tell you? Do the kids know whereabouts the house is?

Can you not ask his parents?

atwitsend_2

shellsuit wrote: »

Forget the sleeping arrangements, the fact is, he won't tell you the address. (My son and daughter bedshared at their Dads for a long time)

Surely if he wants to see his kids though, he would tell you? Do the kids know whereabouts the house is?

Can you not ask his parents?

I know the town, the kids are too young to know addresses. I have asked his parents, who have said they dont want to be involved but he refuses to tell them where it is, so they cant even forward any post onto them.

MrsAnnie

gingin wrote: »

atwitsend wrote: »

This was all ok up until 6 months ago when I found out that he was sleeping them around hers again and he had infact moved in there. My children of different sexes were sharing her bed.
QUOTE]

Do you mean that the gf was in bed with the kids too, atwitsend?

This is how I read it. And it would really concern me if she was.

I think there are a number of issues in the OP post and trying to seperate them and treat them individually is difficult.

I am not sure about the scope of Social/Family Services, but can they or another independant party assist to assess the situation of living arrangements in order to deem if they are suitable for the children.

PrincessPlaty

MrsAnnie wrote: »

I am not sure about the scope of Social/Family Services, but can they or another independant party assist to assess the situation of living arrangements in order to deem if they are suitable for the children.

Surely the sleeping arrangements are irrelevant really the OP doesnt have the address of where the children are staying, I dont know about anyone else but i wouldnt be happy with my children being somewhere and i couldnt get to them if there was an emergency

And thats without my children having any disabilities!

atwitsend_2

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Surely the sleeping arrangements are irrelevant really the OP doesnt have the address of where the children are staying, I dont know about anyone else but i wouldnt be happy with my children being somewhere and i couldnt get to them if there was an emergency

And thats without my children having any disabilities!

thank you, yep thats kinda it, he wont contact me. I am sad for the kids cos he wont contact me to see them, if he did contact me I would happily agree something so they dont miss out on their dad, but the fact remains that he doesnt and wont.
I really need advice about the school giving him information and can they refuse to even though he has PR?

MrsAnnie

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

Surely the sleeping arrangements are irrelevant really the OP doesnt have the address of where the children are staying, I dont know about anyone else but i wouldnt be happy with my children being somewhere and i couldnt get to them if there was an emergency

And thats without my children having any disabilities!

I agree! We are on the same page PrincessPlaty.

I was referring to the complete living arrangements, including the location, where, with who and everything else.

I would not let my children sleepover anywhere, without knowing ALL details and being comfortable with the arrangements.

atwitsend_2

MrsAnnie wrote: »

gingin wrote: »

This is how I read it. And it would really concern me if she was.

I think there are a number of issues in the OP post and trying to seperate them and treat them individually is difficult.

I am not sure about the scope of Social/Family Services, but can they or another independant party assist to assess the situation of living arrangements in order to deem if they are suitable for the children.

When it happened, I did contact social services and they said themselves that it wasnt suitable for my disbaled son to be sharing a bed with his younger sister, they also told me that as the mother it was down to me to say no. They said that as it was access and not permanant that they dont need to be involved as if I thought there was a problem to stop access.