Not sure what to do....

busiscoming2

mummy_Jay wrote: »

The house is in her name only, next time he goes out, she needs to change the locks. He has no rights to a house that is not in his name. She may want to seek some legal advice here but i don't think he'd have a leg to stand on.

She needs to report the card he's using as stolen and get a statement to see if there's any evidence pointing to him charging for that car or anything else on it. Change all the utility bills to her name and put them on direct debit, cancel any bills like mobile phone contracts that are for him in her name.

Wheither there's another woman or not is irrelavent, he's playing head games with her and she must try not to get sucked in, he wants her all emotional as its easier to push her around that way.

As for the car I can't think of a legal way if he's not charged it too her or been taking from her for a long time to have that kind of money, for someone without a payed job.

Have to agree with all the above. Stop his access to the bank account today!
Get the locks changed.

pinkshoes

1. Phone the bank THIS MORNING and cancel the card. It would probably be best to open a new account and change everything over to this new account.

2. Take up a free trial with one of the credit rating companies, and check that no credit checks have been done in her name (i.e. the car!)

3. Consider changing the locks. If the house is in her name, then she can do this.


After she's done 1 and 2, she should give him an ultimatum and demand to know what's going on.

neneromanova

mummy_Jay wrote: »

The house is in her name only, next time he goes out, she needs to change the locks. He has no rights to a house that is not in his name. She may want to seek some legal advice here but i don't think he'd have a leg to stand on.

She needs to report the card he's using as stolen and get a statement to see if there's any evidence pointing to him charging for that car or anything else on it. Change all the utility bills to her name and put them on direct debit, cancel any bills like mobile phone contracts that are for him in her name.

Wheither there's another woman or not is irrelavent, he's playing head games with her and she must try not to get sucked in, he wants her all emotional as its easier to push her around that way.

As for the car I can't think of a legal way if he's not charged it too her or been taking from her for a long time to have that kind of money, for someone without a payed job.

I agree with everything you've said.

Go see a solicitor, Change the locks (BUT only if the house is in your name otherwise he has as much right to be there as you) Ring the bank first thing this morning to cancel the card and get a statement. This is the main priority!!

Oldernotwiser

Errata wrote: »

Going missing and won't say where, new car and won't say how it's been paid for, secretive about all personal information, doesn't work ? I wouldn't be thinking 'another woman' I'd be thinking about something far more serious.

Absolutely agree; some kind of criminal activity seems far more likely.

Gavin83

mummy_Jay wrote: »

The house is in her name only, next time he goes out, she needs to change the locks. He has no rights to a house that is not in his name. She may want to seek some legal advice here but i don't think he'd have a leg to stand on.

Would he not have equal claim on the house being her husband anyway? I presume he's contributed something to the house.

Reggie_Rebel

Cards cancelled

Locks changed

Papers served

Job done

princeofpounds

Would he not have equal claim on the house being her husband anyway?

Yes, he would have a claim but he would have to go to court to get title. Whilst he does not have title he is nothing more than a permitted occupier (a lodger!) and can be locked out.

The house itself would then probably be dealt with as part of the separation process, but he doesn't need to be there for that.

loftus

The friend of the OP has my every sympathy.

However I wonder that if it had been the case that the post had been about a man being possibly cheated on, having the house in his name and a woman being the primary child carer would the advice still have been to change the locks and evict her from the house?

I doubt it.

MrsTinks

Interesting Loftus because I found myself thinking the same thing

Regardless - your friend now needs to focus on her and the kids - there are 2 things that need to be considered here: the childrens future and the couples divorce.
Moving forward she may need to alter her working patterns etc to enable her to care for the children without his help. If the house is in her name she's holding the aces in this poker game... Provided he is not on the deeds or mortgage agreement then she can evict him without major problems. I would consider changing the lock part of the course in that case...
First step? CANCEL ANY JOINT ACCOUNTS and definitely cancel his cash card to her account! I would have done that before he'd finished the first sentence saying "I want to leave you"! The utility bills can be dealt with too - all she needs to do is call them and tell them to change the bills to her name, any DDs to her account etc - these should be pretty easy to sort out in the grand scheme of things. If they have any savings make sure she contacts the bank and ask them to ensure that any withdrawals requires BOTH signatures to withdraw anything to make things easier before the divorce...

Best of luck to her...

JimmyTheWig

Depending on oh-so-many other factors, it sounds to me like the husband is the main childcarer and so it would make more sense for the wife to move out of the family home.
Obviously she'll need to pay maintenance for the kids and access can be arranged.

Agree that she needs to cancel her debit card and change her online banking details as a priority.